KOTH

Szadowsz

Join Date 11/2008

KOTH

To win be king of the hill. To be king of the hill defeat the defenses errected by the current king of the said hill in ingenious ways. winner will be declared when everyone loses interest. make alliances, backstab and whatnot. Its a social experiment of sorts.

builds a totally invincible fortress on said hill and locks myself in

calls forth millions of evil undead zombies to stand outside the fortress to do my bidding and eat attackers brains

installs annatar repelling beam cannons and errects automatic laser turrets on the walls

turns on the main generator in the keep

and activates the anti-zubaz shield

dangles time-travelled legit copys of sins second and third expansions as bait

cowers in the keep

bring it

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uses Sabotage reactor to destroy the antimatter reactor, stopping regeneration of antimatter sends an asteroid at the antimatter shield and runs like hell, destroying shield, asteroid, and the base (antimatter + normal matter = bad for everyone nearby) builds a huge Athena Stealth Ship (if you're from the inexorable invasion, you know how the system works), boards, and enters phase space, bringing along enough plant life to ensure that O2, food, and water remain in appropriate supply. utilizes an ASTMD to stabilize the temporal space around the ship (in other words, freezing it, as time is normally in a state of flux(everythings in flux. even our flux is in flux)). now beat that!

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So after destroying the previous base, you have made your new fortress untouchable and unobservable from our universe - aside from a seemingly random ball of unmoving space-time held in phase/hyperspace. For all intents and purposes, you have cut yourself and your fortress off from the rest of the universe. After an appropriate length of time (30 minutes seems good), people will begin to doubt that your "invincible fortress" was even created in the first place.

Therefore, with no competing fortress in existence, I declare myself the KOTH (until usurped) and my cubicle the new fortress. I will now eat a sandwich.

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use an Infinate Improbability Drive to escape from the Inescapable Box.

use a massive nanobomb to convert the surrounding countryside and the cubicle into a grey mass.

employ a the friendly neighborhood necromancer to put down any resultant zombies.

build new fortress.

surround said new fortress with shields. use magical powers to turn fortress unoticable, which is better than invisable. surround fortress with an improbability field and destroy all copies of the improbability drive but mine. then send the fortress to randomly move around in the empty parts of the universe.

put hill in a small adament box. lock said box with an unpickable adament lock. i then keep the key in my impenetrable safety deposit box that can never be found by you puny mortals/immortals/undead/whatever.

put a flag on the box, emphasising my ownership of the hill. take a vacation & let you figure out how to open box or find the key.

also, i steal your sandwich. it is very good, though i could use some cake...

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droid army reconstructs its self using its nano tech

using a portal gun the army enters your "inpenitrable" box and lures you out with some cake

when you come out the army throws you out with the cake and re takes the fort

using a teleporter i arrive at the fort and build a shield satalite network with inward facing laser defences

i use your Infinate Improbability Drive to start the fort jumping alover the universe at 1 jump per second

by the way the cake is a lie, its actually a bomb.

enjoy

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while wiiplayer does this i simply steal the box with The Hill and being in a quantum state of flux between mortal/imortal easily open it. I then head back to my fortress with its new asteroid armour decor clean out the mess that was left in it and turn it into a floating fortress using the power of The Hill. I then employ an army of ninja wizards and fighting bears to protect me. I then do some redecorating making the fortress portal proof and instantly a normality emmiter which cause any Infinite Improbability drives to send the user into the sun

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My ship drops back into real-space, sends a burst transmission on all frequencies, saying, "This is a triumph! I'm making a note here, HUGE SUCCESS!"

then jumps back into phase space, where the ship is untouchable, but very observable! (ever play Vasari? eh? it's called highly attuned sensors)

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oh, and I declare myself king of the hill, as my fortress was never destroyed/taken.

"It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Aperture Science:

We do what we must, because we can."

seriously, if I get thru the whole song b4 someone takes the hill, then it'd just be plain sad.

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Quoting Orodum,

reply 7

oh, and I declare myself king of the hill, as my fortress was never destroyed/taken.

"It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Aperture Science:

We do what we must, because we can."

seriously, if I get thru the whole song b4 someone takes the hill, then it'd just be plain sad.

It doesn't matter about your fortress because you don't have the hill

teleports a huge army of hobbits using Scotty's amazing telportation formula aboard Orodum's ship for fun

they proceed to use up all the oxygen and eat all the food causing Orodum to die

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can't teleport to an object within phase space. and Scotty doesn't teleport. he "beams". can't beam onto an object in phase either.

"For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead.

But there's no sense crying over every mistake
you just keep on trying to you run out of cake
and science gets done and you make a neat gun
for the people who are still alive."

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Quoting Orodum,

reply 9

can't teleport to an object within phase space. and Scotty doesn't teleport. he "beams". can't beam onto an object in phase either.

"For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead.

But there's no sense crying over every mistake
you just keep on trying to you run out of cake
and science gets done and you make a neat gun
for the people who are still alive."

nuhuh due to the laws of unstated effects,the theory of awesomeness and the mutability of OP I did do that, besides I still have the hill. builds time machine and teleport hobbits on board when you popped out of phase space for the exact same effect

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okay. beams szad onto Saren, into a padded cell surrounded by an anti-immortality and anti-teleportation shield.

*three weeks go by*

Szad is now completely slaved to Saren's bidding, and is nearly mindless. and now looks like this:

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first, i shall sneak in using the powers of the Subtle Knife and steal back my box with the hill in it. i next ask how the heck you shoot a portal into the box from the outside.

i then put the hill in my new fortress. it has been time-machine and affadivit proofed, in addition to being surounded by a probability field, stoping the use of the Infinate Improbability Drive. i also hire a similar, competing redecorator to portal-proof my fortress. i then turn on my all-new FTL drive inhibitor and use beam/teleportation inhibitor technology, sort of like the kind you *could* put at the end of a drill...

i then shield my fortress and set it off afloat in space. in a different universe. i then destroy the universe that all of you call home using a wormhole weapon, produced by the John and Harvey co., and retrieve my box from my fortress. note that the box is not actually leaving the fortress. if that makes sense. have fun now.

"I'm not even angry...
I'm being so sincere right now-
Even though you broke my heart,
and killed me.

And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you!"

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Quoting Orodum,

reply 11

okay. beams szad onto Saren, into a padded cell surrounded by an anti-immortality and anti-teleportation shield.

*three weeks go by*

Szad is now completely slaved to Saren's bidding, and is nearly mindless.

While you would think this to be the case, I actually drove Saren insane, (soz I just spoiled the plot of MASS EFFECT PREQUEL)

Faulty Logic 's anti teleport device causes your anti-teleport device to turn into a teleport device so I escape I then make it back into my fortress and make a fixed point in space and time surviving the universe's death.

This still means Faulty has the hill so I build an engine out of the remains of the universe to catch up with him. I do so then ram him, engaging in a swashbuckling duel to the death for the hill that neither he nor I can tell who wins.

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excuse me, I mean Sovereign in the first one. accidentally typed the wrong name

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Quoting Orodum,

reply 14

excuse me, I mean Sovereign in the first one. accidentally typed the wrong name

I know, I just went with it though

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can't drive an AI insane. esp. when you can't talk to it (shields don't let matter through, so that means no sound passes through. and indoctrination is one-way

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Quoting Orodum,

reply 16

can't drive an AI insane

Hal and Glados beg to differ

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HAL was actually driven insane by a programming conflict, and GLaDOS... she was just programmed in a stupid way and being on her own with a primary directive to conduct weapons research on live humans sent her cookoo for cocoa puffs. Sovereign can't be driven insane, as he is "beyond your simple understanding". and he kind of is already "insane", as are the rest of the Reapers.

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while i and szadowsz pause for a moment from our swashbuckling duel to try determining the winner, i pull out a gun and shoot him. as he is an immortal, he only pauses for a moment in realization that i just shot him. during this moment i put on my backstab-proof coat. note that this is a metaphorical backstab-proof, though it will work on the literal variety. after doing this i apologize for shooting him and offer him a partnership as i pick up the box containing the hill. i then wait for a reply.

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I agree activating my backstab proof forcefield

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