granted. you get a brand new certified pre owned set of wrenches from 1942.

Granted. and because you went to bed earlier a fine sexy lady who stayed up waiting for some sexy time dumps you.

i wish i had something to reduce my boredom.

granted: now nothing is predictable and everything that happens is completely random

i wish i knew how to mod sins of solar empire textures

They cant anymore but instead they can now corrupt your mind.      

I wish they came out with more way awsome movies, instead of the same old same old ones!

Sybertronic.  

granted: now all they do is bash the game and say how horrible it is

i wish i had a time machine

Granted.  Your mother instantly dies, and is no longer alive to remind you to eat healty foods.  In tribute to your maw-maw, you eat more healthy.  But now you'll simply stay alive longer, living in misery from a life without mommy.

I wish my wish would turn out exactly as I intend.

Your PS2 is in sellable condition, but as you go to sell it to someone, they pull out a gun and steal your wallet.

And your PS2.

I wish that my girlfriend lived closer to me.

Granted, and because you weren't arrested, you were home when your town got nuked by russians. i wish for a gaming laptop

Your stove works. But you are in jail, and can't cook anything.

I wish both sudes of the healthcare fiasco would JUST SHUT UP.

Epic Fail!

I wish for the majority of Americans would stop repeatedly saying "uh", "like", and "and" when it is not necessary.

"Eh" is more of a dialect thing, so I am willing to tolerated it. Okay, you can watch blizzcon. . . When you move out of you mother's house and pay taxes.

it is, in a positeviley horrendus way. now no one really cares about your return.

i wish that I became a space pirate.