Why should they ask politely. to translate to a common situation. your playing online its free for all without locked teams. your playing vasari and there is a guy playing TEC who started not too far from you. your about to suggest to him you team up when you realise all he has is tradeports and some how ur scouts are taking his planets(i know its impossible but humour me) would u really consider that guy a worthy ally or would you just kill him and take what he has for your own.
Thats what happened to vasari they opted to kill a weak enemy but the tec were too numerous and before they could be rooted out they developed counter measures.
By the way your underestimating just how large TO space must have been maybe going around just wasnt possible.
Edit: the more i think about it your right. Vasari arrogance put them in this situation but dont underestimate them. they are not war fighters by nature. they have been on the run for so long that guerilla warfare is practically engraved in their DNA. they will find away to come out on top