Banned because ample evidence has now been collected... though they're still trying to ascertain that it was your eyeball on the other side of the peephole into the girls locker room.  The DNA test results from what appeared to be a puddle of drool, however, should confirm it.

banned for locking it down

banned because you put time in a bottle

Banned for thinking the jukebox on that island even has that song.

Banned for and no "writing" paper.  

Banned for satellite phone, Yeah!

Banned for taking breaks while banning is unheard of. 

Banned for might I recommend chili con carne instead of couscous\duck a l'orange.

banned for adding in the beans

Banned because there is other stuff just a good but without the smelly fallout. They don't call them musical fruit for nothing ya know. 

Banned for life, Armstrong.

It won't.

There are other charities out there without the stink of a cheat.