Banned for what kind of weapon was it?  

Banned for a penis could be classed as a biological weapon, of sorts.... it can cause 9 months of sickness.

Banned for shouldn't that be virility? 

Banned for any more talk like that and to the penile colony with you.

Banned for erecting dysfunctional headlines.   

Banned for stand erect when speaking to teacher. 

banned for going back to 9th grade

Banned for repression... untether that thing and give it some freedom.

Banned for I did that once [stood erect while erect] and she embarrassed me by pointing it out to the whole class.

Well, it wasn't my fault!  She was a real hottie and I was a teen buck full of... well, you know.

I thought I'd never love anyone ever again when she left to pursue marriage and motherhood, but I got over it... eventually.

Banned for standing to attention in detention.

banned for not enjoying the joys of tent raising in awkward times

banned for hearing about self control only and not practicing

Banned for recording it.

banned for needing help to go to sleep