Better Off

from JoeUser Forums
Perhaps somethings are better in their simplicitiy. I tried to write some new stuff today but instead dug into the notebook I've been carrying around and put this together. I thought really hard how I could lengthen it but then I remembered I'm about 9 months away from the last time I had any page requirements so decided to leave it as is. Thanks for reading.

Better Off
SuspecTed


I’m still trying to make myself at home,
I’m still trying to make myself,
I’m still trying.

I’m still getting acquainted with my surroundings,
I’m still surrounded by acquaintances,
I’m still surrounded.

Now just lie still,
Now just lie,
Now just.

Just a little bit better off than before.
art
222 views 5 replies
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Funny about page requirements... like the transition at fourth and fifth lines. Nice.
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
I originally wanted to keep going with "I'm" as the beginning of every line, so I may play with a bit before I'd ever call it a finished piece, but so far, an experiment gone fairly well...thanks.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm cutting and pasting this for my memory book. Something has to be pretty...errrm...special is the only thing i can come up with....to make it into that, ya know....this struck me. I like it. It's also getting sent to Greenland and England...hope you don't mind.

Can you show us the 'finished' version....if there ever is one?
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Wow, International exposure! Holy Crap! That rules.

This one will be stacked on my rapidly growing "edit" list, but if I ever get around to it you can be sure it will show up here.