Love?

is that what its called?

How is that possible?
How can a person be "in love" and then suddenly fall out of it?
Love, is not something you fall out of. Nope. Love, is a decion.
Three couples i know, THREE, have broken up in the past few days. DAYS! how is that possible? the first couple, friends of friends more, were engaged. They were going all in for it. all for the long haul. They loved eachother.
They met four years ago. They were going out for three. He asked her to marry him six months ago. She said yes. They used to go to art shows, have picnics in the park. He gave her flowers, her favorite kind were daisys, and bought her her favorite movie, Casablanca, and for his military ball they dressed up in forties outfits and took swing dancing lessions. They were "in love". and now they have cold feet and decided to take a "temporary break". "temporary". right
a couple at my school have been dating since they were freshman. They took vacations together, went sailing, cuddled in movies. He used to leave her love messages in the door handle of her car. Ther were "in love". He stopped talking to her and two days ago started dating someone else. He keeps saying its only "temporary". "temporary". right.
My friend was married two years ago. The wedding was beautiful. She was dressed in white, he had tails on his tux, there were lillies everywhere and the pastor was the man who had baptized her when she became a chistian. They started having money problems when he got layed off. He told his friend that he thinks there is a "cute" girl in his new office, but he hasn't done anything yet. They are on a "break" right now. A "temporary break". "temporary". right.
I just dont get it! how can this all be? these people LOVED EACHOTHER! LOVE!!!!!!!!!
what is wrong with our society that we can just SAY something like that and not mean it?
you dont "fall" into love. you just dont. you fall into lust. desire. admiration. joyfullness. love is a decision. its a choice that when you dont get along with that person, its okay. When they are sick, you stay with them. When they cry, you wipe them away. Love is compassion and kindness.
this was not love.
*sigh*
love lasts eternally. When your truely in love, you always have that person in your heart.
forever
3,292 views 5 replies
Reply #1 Top
So extremely, very, amazingly well said. Love is so much more than a feeling. I know you used the word "temporary" and I know what you mean, but another word would be "conditional" right? I hate how people think they've been "in love" with a bunch of people from their past. Grr. Right on, sweet blog!

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Reply #2 Top
>>> "love lasts eternally. When your truely in love, you always have that person in your heart"

Which person do you have in your heart - the one you originally fell in love with, or the one that original person has changed into ? And which heart - your heart four years ago, or your heart now ? And exactly what does "truely in love" mean, as opposed to just plain old "in love" ?

You my dear are very naive, or pathologically optimistic.

I think you are also confusing being in love with someone versus being in a relationship with someone. They are completely different things. You can have one with out the other. Some people love each other deeply, but because of circumstances can't stand to be around each other (any alcoholics here?). Some people fall out of love and stay in a relationship for a variety of reasons. I love my family and friends dearly, but I'm not married to any of them.

So.. nope - love is not a decision, love is a feeling. And if you think love is a decision - you have not been utterly, truely in love.

My 02.
Reply #3 Top
So.. nope - love is not a decision, love is a feeling. And if you think love is a decision - you have not been utterly, truely in love.


Absolutely. I couldn't have said it any better.
Reply #4 Top
I completely agree with you, PoetP, too, about love. Love is a feeling, and you CAN love someone without being with them. And you can be with someone without loving them.

As to the (probably rhetorical) question you asked: which person do you love, the one you were with, or what they've changed into:

I can answer that on my own. I have to first say that I really don't understand love, I don't know a hell of a lot about it, I can't explain it, and I certainly don't "like" it, but in my experience, and what I believe, is that you love both. When a person changes, it doesn't mean they're not the same person anymore. I am not sure how to explain it, so I will use your alcoholic example.

If someone you cares about changes from a responsible non-drinker to an irresponsible, difficult, and hurtful alcoholic, you can still love them. You can still care about them and want them to get help, and want them to be happy. And if someone changes from a lazy but loving person into a successful, motivated corporate climber who is still loving, you can still love them. Maybe even more

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if it is love, you can care about them no matter what. But you don't necessarily have to be with them.

~Anne
Reply #5 Top
OH, why do we analyze an emotion we know nothing about?

Trinitie