my God. How wierd is this?

Yep, it be stange alright....but don't blame God! It weren't any of 'is doin'! It be takin' all kinds to make up this 'ere world....and ye 'ave inadvertantly stumbled into this 'ere insanity ta strike (probably) tha weirdest crew about.

Never mind....if ye 'aven't some strong sedatives ta settle ye down agin, take a swig or three o' rum so ye can at least cope a bit better....sleep at night agin.

As are so many....no matter 'ow far n' wide us've been spread. The good ol' British Empire, eh! It 'ave established its proud Anglo-Saxon roots in all corners o' the globe....got a lot to answer for as well. Take a gander at Orstrayla, fer instance, sent all its convicts n' clowns 'ere....an' now look at the place, it be full o' larrikins n' jokers....just point yer peepers on our lil Johnny fer a bit (Jafo too) n' ye'll see wot I m

aaarggh them orstraylians be mighty fine an full of 'earty humor! An damn fine pirates too!

Take a gander at Orstrayla, fer instance, sent all its convicts n'

ah but capt many was not convicts, they was set up by ta establishment like!

my God. How wierd is this?

aargghh it be not wierd, it be called fun me lad!

Now capt'n where be da fine cook Ms Trudy? Me tummy still be rumblin like! First Mate Guy 'ave ye been seein' 'er?

my God. How wierd is this?

aye lad now t's 'ere be what a hijack is about! hahahahha!

it be called fun me lad!

Aaaarrrrggghh, that it be....'n it be much bett'r than a rap 'cross tha knuckles wiv Davy Jones' cutlass. Us might be a strange assortment, but we be as 'appy as brandishin' buccaneers in a booty bargain basement.....aaaarrrrggghhh.

Me tummy still be rumblin like!

An' 'ere I woz finkin' it were thunderin'....or mebee it were Gorg down the 'old try'n ta fire up e's spaceship. I dunno lassie, them gizzards o' yers be a real worry....me thinks us 'ad bett'r find Ms Trudy ta cook ye up a mess o grub afore 'em shakes tha ship apart.

An' 'ere I woz finkin' it were thunderin'....or mebee it were Gorg down the 'old try'n ta fire up e's spaceship. I dunno lassie, them gizzards o' yers be a real worry....me thinks us 'ad bett'r find Ms Trudy ta cook ye up a mess o grub afore 'em shakes tha ship apart.

Them be loud rumblings! Not heard the likes of them since me waifs taped me a snoring!

Them be loud rumblings! Not heard the likes of them since me waifs taped me a snoring!

I were goin' ta 'ave a word wiv 'e 'bout that....yer snoring, that is. I were in me cabin mindin' me own business, dreamin' about booty (not boobies), when I were rudely awoke by an 'orrible noise n' thought some blaggard were cuttin' down the mast wiv a chainsaw. I were ready wiv me cutlass in 'and ta dice 'im inta quarters when I realised the row were comin' from yer cabin. Now the noise were one thing, but seein' yer cutains flyin' in n' out of tha port'ole wiv yer inhalin' n' exhalin', now that were hilarious.

when I were rudely awoke by an 'orrible noise n' thought some blaggard were cuttin' down the mast wiv a chainsaw.

Aye, that be me. But tis only appens when I partake of too much rum.

Now the noise were one thing, but seein' yer cutains flyin' in n' out of tha port'ole wiv yer inhalin' n' exhalin', now that were hilarious.

Them be one mighty fine pair of nostrils there flaring wi' each snore! hahahahaha Ay Doc ye bes' be gettin' ye fine woamen ta be fixin' em curtains so 'ey be not blowin' out 'em windows!  

Ay Doc ye bes' be gettin' ye fine woamen ta be fixin' em curtains so 'ey be not blowin' out 'em windows

Don't think her'd stop 'em, some'ow....Doc already tied tha anchor to 'em, but still 'em flied outta the port'ole at a great rate o' knots. That thar be one almighty snoz Doc 'as thar....p'raps us should get 'im ta muzzle it ta save Pecky frum disappearin' altogether ......

Aha, now I knows 'ow us gan git tha ship goin' when tha wind won't blow.....us waves tha ship's cat under Doc's snoz, then us gits 'im facin' tha sails afore 'e sneezes.

I'll tell 'e what, Doc, us'll 'ave ta press a couple more swabs inta service....seein' as 'ow we 'aves two (dazed & confused) crewmen on worker's comp after 'em got hit on the scone by a flyin' anchor

Don't think her'd stop 'em, some'ow....Doc already tied tha anchor to 'em, but still 'em flied outta the port'ole at a great rate o' knots. That thar be one almighty snoz Doc 'as thar....p'raps us should get 'im ta muzzle it ta save Pecky frum disappearin' altogether

Aye, I told ye to have me winder facing the sails. Twould be more air in the sails if ye had listened.

Aye, I told ye to have me winder facing the sails. Twould be more air in the sails if ye had listened.

Hmmm if Gorg be gettin' things fixed real quick like, we can be flyin' orf into space and we be not needin sails like! tehn we sailin' out in space and piratin' out in ta gran' skies! Gorg be tellin' me there be plenty technology be had fer ta takin' on many planets out thar.  

Spunau bolayalar t'Wehku bolayalar t'Zamu il t'Veh. Shiyau thol'es k'thorai ri k'ahm 

Mene sakkhet ur-seveh.

Spunau bolayalar t'Wehku bolayalar t'Zamu il t'Veh. Shiyau thol'es k'thorai ri k'ahm Mene sakkhet ur-seveh

okay.............we 'ill be 'itting yer planet soon enough, jus' be tellin us where we be goin is all!   

what the bleeding nora did you write anyways?     

It's Vulcan. The translation for you puny earthlings is - 

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one. Nobility lies in action not in name"

"Live long and prosper"

And if you try coming here I'll set me sehlat on to you   

And if you try coming here I'll set me sehlat on to you

aaargghh ye diry dog ye! ye be keepin that selat on a leash now ye'ear? If Peck da Parrot be gettin 'old of yer sehlat ye be 'avin no sehlat left! hahahah     

I be checkin wit' ta capt'n what we be doin, we could be needin' a a good tacticle (?) officer? Then ye be joinin' us on our journey?

The translation for you puny earthlings is -

Ye be a Romulan Spy! No Vulcan wud call us ertlings puny.

Aye, perhaps I see now. Ye be Evil Spock. Ne'er mind.

Aye, I told ye to have me winder facing the sails. Twould be more air in the sails if ye had listened.

Considered it....briefly! Then I thort to meself, us'll be needin' them thar sails ta git about....an' that snorin o' yer's be likely ta blow 'em ta Kingdom Come.

Alternatively, us could 'ook yer snoz up to turbines that'd drive some paddles instead. I orften thort about gittin' us a paddle steamer, but there were no way I were paartin' wiv any o' me booty fer coal....arrrgghh, and there were the answer in front o' me the whole time: Dr Guy's multi speeded; fuel injected; turbo charged, dual barreled snoz.

Hmmm if Gorg be gettin' things fixed real quick like, we can be flyin' orf into space and we be not needin sails like!

Arrrrgghh, that be soundin' good...orf inta space ta plunder instead. An' it'd be cheap on fuel as well....all us'd have ta do is stick a bit o' sneezin' powder under Doc's snoz and we'd be 'Star Trekkin' round the universe' in no time at all.

all us'd have ta do is stick a bit o' sneezin' powder under Doc's snoz

be ther any of that thar powder left or haz he had his way wit it

be ther any of that thar powder left or haz he had his way wit it

Us'll git some more if 'e did 'appen ta 'ave 'e's (wikkid) way wiv it....just so's he could whip up a cyclone ta blow tha ship's moggie (cat) overboard.

Dr Guy told I he weren't too partial ta tha moggie, but I never thort e'd go that far.

It be real good ta see ye here, ta...welcome aboard me 'earty....n' 'ave lotsa fun while ye be 'ere.

Arrrrgghh, that be soundin' good...orf inta space ta plunder instead. An' it'd be cheap on fuel as well....all us'd have ta do is stick a bit o' sneezin' powder under Doc's snoz and we'd be 'Star Trekkin' round the universe' in no time at all.

We best be thinkin out Stardock, afore we be takin on Starfleet!

Dr Guy told I he weren't too partial ta tha moggie, but I never thort e'd go that far.

*Smack Doc around the head* oy yer scurvy first mate ye be fishin 'at moggie back ou' ta' water now ye 'ear! Sally not be please ye be kickin Socrates over board now will she?   

Sally no doubt be keepin ta doc awake till 'e be gettin' socrates back on board fer er!

Now ye be postin' another pic o' Sally Doc?

Doc, did Sally win the competition or get placed?

Alternatively, us could 'ook yer snoz up to turbines that'd drive some paddles instead. I orften thort about gittin' us a paddle steamer, but there were no way I were paartin' wiv any o' me booty fer coal....arrrgghh, and there were the answer in front o' me the whole time: Dr Guy's multi speeded; fuel injected; turbo charged, dual barreled snoz.

    

Doc?

Dr Guy's multi speeded; fuel injected; turbo charged, dual barreled snoz

    

*slaps the capt'n on 'is 'ead* thats fer bein so funny like!

Doc, did Sally win the competition or get placed?

I'll be checkin wit da wife. Will post another soon.

*slaps the capt'n on 'is 'ead

Nope....won't tolerate it!!! 'Owever, if ye wants ta git out yer cat o' nine I'll 'appily bend o'er the barrel n' take me lumps that way instead....cos Mrs starkers knee be a bit stiff wiv arfritis these days n' I be missin' out on a good whoopin' ta keep me feet firmly planted on tha ground....errr, deck!!!

Oh, an' Jen....not ta worry 'bout tha moggie, neither. Gorg were fishin' an it come back aboard kipper 'e caught....so if ye sees an overly furry ball waftin' about decks it be tha moggie....Gorg took pity on tha drenched lil blighter n' blow dried 'im.

Hadn't seed Pecky fer a bit....lookout says 'e be up'n tha crows nest n' won't come down 'til us plugs Doc's snoz wiv a coupla corks or summat.....

Ha-haaarrgghh....now that gives I an idear!!! If us runs outta cannonballs, us can shove a couple rum stoppers in Doc's double barreled snoz n' aim it at blaggards vessels, wiv a good supply o' corks us could sink a fleet o' battleships.....aaaarrrghhh, wiv Doc's snoz as a secrit weapon us'd be invincible.