It's like being in utero..

or what I imagine 'in utero' would feel like...

from JoeUser Forums
I had an MRI done this morning. I had my head clamped on either side, then they put a cage kinda device over my face, with a little mirror in front of my eyes, angled so I could see out of the machine and hopefully not feel quite so claustraphobic. They gave me some headphones to wear so I could listen to the radio, then slid me into this tube and started the machine.

Being in there was odd..it makes this rhythmic throbbing, humming noise, much like what a maternal heatbeat must sound like. When they turn the magnets on though, the noise is loud, really loud. I couldn't even hear the radio over the clicking and whirring at some points. I tried not to get freaked out, I kept my eyes on what was going on at the end of my feet in the little mirror....trying all the time to stay as still as I can, to regulate my breathing so I don't hyperventilate and panic....it wasn't unpleasant, but it wasn't pleasant either.

The whole time I was in there I was trying to imagine what the inside of my head looked like on the screen the techs were looking at. I wondered if it looked like it does on TV...or perhaps like it does in cartoons, with nuts and bolts and a mouse running on a wheel floating around in there.

I asked the radiologist afterwards why I was getting an MRI done as opposed to a CT scan....he said "well, your doctor's concerned that you have MS, and this shows that better than a CT scan does.". Hmm, he never said anything about that to me. I wish he had.

So, now I wait for the call to tell me what the scan showed. Hopefully nothing. Hopefully that I have a normal CNS...but then again, what good would that be? I'd still have no answers about what's going on. So, instead of hoping that nothing shows up, I hope that something does show. Then I can quit thinking about what it MIGHT be, and concentrate on dealing with whatever it is.

C'mon, phone...ring....
5,966 views 7 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sounds like the feeling they had in the Midway when they were banking on the Japanese attacking. They were in the position waiting to be attacked and actually hoping they would be.

It does sound weird to hope that something shows but I totally understand what you mean. It is so much easier to deal with something when you know what is happening. I got jerked around by doctors when I was having gall bladder attacks. I felt like I was going to die (even wanted to at one time) and one doctor told me I was just constipated! I finally got to a doctor that had the brains to do an ultrasound and found out I needed emergency surgery. I didn't like hearing that my life was in danger but it was a relief to have an explaination of what the hell was going on.

Whatever is going on with you, I hope they can identify it and come up with useful treatment.....and fast!

Best wishes.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think that situation would panic me quite a bit, too. I'm not big on not being able to leave somewhere when I really want to. Doesn't mean I'm going to have a freak-out, but it does get my heartrate going...
I'm thinking of you, Dharma.
Nic.
Offworld Trading Company
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Huh? Brave? Me? Naw, I don't think so!!! If you had seen me in the scanner this morning with my ears filling up with tears because I couldn't wipe them away you wouldn't have thought I was brave.

Thanks for thinking that, though.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Still no news as yet..but my doctor is notoriously slow at returning phone calls. I know the radiologist read the films because I called and asked...but they won't release the info to me, my family practitioner has to. I'm cool with it all tho.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
I certainly hope the news is good dharmagrl! It is tragic, though, that your doctor wasn't open with you about the reason for the test. In the medical field I fear that far too often we think we are "protecting" our patients by withholding information, when in fact we are undermining our relationship with them. Of course the course of action will be different with each person, but I know that for myself, I plan on having a strong enough relationship with my patients to be open and honest with them, while still being sensitive to their feelings.

I hope this doctor can do that for you.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

Reply #6 By: BlueDev - 4/22/2004 4:35:39 PM
I certainly hope the news is good dharmagrl!


It was so-so. My MRI was normal, and as of Saturday I haven't had any more symptoms...but then again, that's totally normal with MS. I have to go talk w/him next week, and I'm going to tell him I'd prefer him to be open and honest with me about what he thinks is wrong. I'd prefer to be an active participant in my own healthcare, and being upfront about what he suspects makes me feel like I'm more involved.