Hey Monkey. Hit This!
Overdue thank yous for those bringing me smiles.
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
So I'm sick right now and it's during such a time that I can take better notice of efforts people have made to brighten my days.
There have been many things that people have done that don't make for great blog stories but I will mention a few that stick out. My boss was very helpful yesterday when I asked for the afternoon off despite the fact that I'm sure she had to do some shuffling to make it work. My friend annie drove me to the dr. so I could get a throat culture (negative), and later bought me and two of her other friends dinner since she got a raise recently...choice!
The subject of my blog is actually the most recent thing that made me laugh. The third graders are going on a field trip today to the MN zoo and as I was leaving from this morning's shift Harrison, a third grade boy, stopped me to say "Hey Ted, check out my shirt," which had sloppily puff painted "Hey Monkey, Hit This" written on it below a large bullseye target. I laughed so hard...it wouldn't have been half as funny if it hadn't been homemade. I could have drawn this out in a longer story, but I know we've all got stuff to do and this is now my blog of convenience.
The other thing that I've been meaning to write about for sometime is the Scarlet Letter of the lunch room. I could be more of a post count whore and make a separate entry but these stories are better told together.
When an elementary student's lunch money account is low the 25 year plus veteran lunch lady puts a small red smiley face stamp on the top of their hand. The idea here is that kids won't remember to tell their parents, the school doesn't want the hassle of calling, and apparently they like to brand kids who appear to be low on funds which makes the smiley face that greets the parents when they get home all the more bizarre to me. Smiling is the last thing I think about when I'm nearly out of money. Anyway, this method has a fantastically entertaining latent result. Not only do the kids not make fun of those with the mark of a near empty lunch account. Those who do receive the stamp nearly always will take the opportunity of the wet stamp on their hand to decorate the rest of their body with it...the first place of which generally is smack dab in the middle of their foreheads. Even more clever are those trouble makers who like to stamp their friends' faces with a fresh "low money" stamp. These kids are years away from days when they'll be licking their friends hands in back alleys so they can share stamps and get into bars underage yet they will have received plenty of practice from this ritual. The whole situation leaves me feeling all warm and gooey inside...I laugh to think of kids with overflowing lunch accounts and what their internal monologue might be "man, I wish I was out of money so I could get a stamp."
A small connection to this story is the lost and found characteristics of the school. Items placed in the lost and found are shown on TVs throughout the school every morning when they do the school news in order to better get items lost back to their rightful owners. I recall one story of a 1st grade girl who admitted she purposely "lost" her new jacket simply because she thought it was so cool that she wanted everyone in the school to see it on TV.
Well that about bleeds out my archives for a bit but I hope you guys enjoy these as much as I enjoy telling them. If CityPages ever calls me (the bastards) perhaps I can extend these into greater stories, but for now I'm pleased knowing they may bring a smile to some of your faces.
Peace,
Suspeckted
There have been many things that people have done that don't make for great blog stories but I will mention a few that stick out. My boss was very helpful yesterday when I asked for the afternoon off despite the fact that I'm sure she had to do some shuffling to make it work. My friend annie drove me to the dr. so I could get a throat culture (negative), and later bought me and two of her other friends dinner since she got a raise recently...choice!
The subject of my blog is actually the most recent thing that made me laugh. The third graders are going on a field trip today to the MN zoo and as I was leaving from this morning's shift Harrison, a third grade boy, stopped me to say "Hey Ted, check out my shirt," which had sloppily puff painted "Hey Monkey, Hit This" written on it below a large bullseye target. I laughed so hard...it wouldn't have been half as funny if it hadn't been homemade. I could have drawn this out in a longer story, but I know we've all got stuff to do and this is now my blog of convenience.
The other thing that I've been meaning to write about for sometime is the Scarlet Letter of the lunch room. I could be more of a post count whore and make a separate entry but these stories are better told together.
When an elementary student's lunch money account is low the 25 year plus veteran lunch lady puts a small red smiley face stamp on the top of their hand. The idea here is that kids won't remember to tell their parents, the school doesn't want the hassle of calling, and apparently they like to brand kids who appear to be low on funds which makes the smiley face that greets the parents when they get home all the more bizarre to me. Smiling is the last thing I think about when I'm nearly out of money. Anyway, this method has a fantastically entertaining latent result. Not only do the kids not make fun of those with the mark of a near empty lunch account. Those who do receive the stamp nearly always will take the opportunity of the wet stamp on their hand to decorate the rest of their body with it...the first place of which generally is smack dab in the middle of their foreheads. Even more clever are those trouble makers who like to stamp their friends' faces with a fresh "low money" stamp. These kids are years away from days when they'll be licking their friends hands in back alleys so they can share stamps and get into bars underage yet they will have received plenty of practice from this ritual. The whole situation leaves me feeling all warm and gooey inside...I laugh to think of kids with overflowing lunch accounts and what their internal monologue might be "man, I wish I was out of money so I could get a stamp."
A small connection to this story is the lost and found characteristics of the school. Items placed in the lost and found are shown on TVs throughout the school every morning when they do the school news in order to better get items lost back to their rightful owners. I recall one story of a 1st grade girl who admitted she purposely "lost" her new jacket simply because she thought it was so cool that she wanted everyone in the school to see it on TV.
Well that about bleeds out my archives for a bit but I hope you guys enjoy these as much as I enjoy telling them. If CityPages ever calls me (the bastards) perhaps I can extend these into greater stories, but for now I'm pleased knowing they may bring a smile to some of your faces.
Peace,
Suspeckted
