The Purpose Driven Life, Chapter Nineteen
Cultivating Community
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CULTIVATING COMMUNITY TAKES HONESTY
You will have to care enough to lovingly speak the truth, even when you would rather gloss over a problem or ignore an issue. Often we know what needs to be said to someone, but our fears prevent us from saying anything. Real fellowship depends on frankness, but frankness is not a license to say anything you want, whenever and wherever you want. Thoughtless words leave lasting wounds.
CULTIVATING COMMUNITY TAKES HUMILITY
Pride blocks God's grace in our lives, which we must have in order to grow, change, heal and help others. We receive God's grace by humbly admitting that we need it.
You can develop humility in very practical ways: by admitting your weaknesses, by being open to correction, and by pointing the spotlight on others.
CULTIVATING COMMUNITY TAKES COURTESY
Courtesy is respecting our differences, being considerate of each other's feelings, and being patient with people who irritate us.
One key to courtesy is to understand where people are coming from. Discover their history. When you know what they've been through, you will be more understanding. Instead of thinking about how far they still have to go, think about how far they have come in spite of their hurts.
Another part of courtesy is not downplaying other people's doubts. Real community happens when people know it is safe to share their doubts and fears without being judged.
CULTIVATING COMMUNITY TAKES CONFIDENTIALITY
This means what is shared in your group needs to stay in the group, and the group needs to deal with it, not gossip to others about it. Gossip always causes hurt and divisiions, and it destroys fellowship. God is very clear that we are to confront those who cause division among Christians.
CULTIVATING COMMUNITY TAKES FREQUENCY
You must have frequent regular contact with your group in order to build genuine fellowship. If you want to cultivate real fellowship, it will mean meeting together even when you don't feel like it, because you believe it is important.
Genuine fellowship means giving up our self-centeredness and independence in order to become interdependent.
You will have to care enough to lovingly speak the truth, even when you would rather gloss over a problem or ignore an issue. Often we know what needs to be said to someone, but our fears prevent us from saying anything. Real fellowship depends on frankness, but frankness is not a license to say anything you want, whenever and wherever you want. Thoughtless words leave lasting wounds.
CULTIVATING COMMUNITY TAKES HUMILITY
Pride blocks God's grace in our lives, which we must have in order to grow, change, heal and help others. We receive God's grace by humbly admitting that we need it.
You can develop humility in very practical ways: by admitting your weaknesses, by being open to correction, and by pointing the spotlight on others.
CULTIVATING COMMUNITY TAKES COURTESY
Courtesy is respecting our differences, being considerate of each other's feelings, and being patient with people who irritate us.
One key to courtesy is to understand where people are coming from. Discover their history. When you know what they've been through, you will be more understanding. Instead of thinking about how far they still have to go, think about how far they have come in spite of their hurts.
Another part of courtesy is not downplaying other people's doubts. Real community happens when people know it is safe to share their doubts and fears without being judged.
CULTIVATING COMMUNITY TAKES CONFIDENTIALITY
This means what is shared in your group needs to stay in the group, and the group needs to deal with it, not gossip to others about it. Gossip always causes hurt and divisiions, and it destroys fellowship. God is very clear that we are to confront those who cause division among Christians.
CULTIVATING COMMUNITY TAKES FREQUENCY
You must have frequent regular contact with your group in order to build genuine fellowship. If you want to cultivate real fellowship, it will mean meeting together even when you don't feel like it, because you believe it is important.
Genuine fellowship means giving up our self-centeredness and independence in order to become interdependent.
