Daily Dose of Weird and Whacky Headlines

from JoeUser Forums

"Scientists Find Genetic Differences Between Humans, Chimps"--headline, Daily Californian (University of California, Berkeley), Nov. 17

Gee, and I always thought they were identical twins.

"Elderly Dying From Falls More Often"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16

Lazarus has nothing on the people of today who seem to be dying many times!

"Frenchwoman May Be First to Lead France"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 17

No wonder France is so messed up!  It has never had a leader!

"Woman Convicted of 2 Counts of Murder in 2004 Yacht Killings"--headline, Daily Breeze (Torrance, Calif.), Nov. 18

Which amendment made yachts protected persons?

"Doctors Say How We Taste Affects Health"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 21

Must be why clowns taste funny?

"Woman Charged for Poisoned Sandwiches"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 20

Bet she did not get many repeat customers.

"Guard Copter to Drop Turkey in East Maui"--headline, Honolulu Advertiser, Nov. 21

Shades of Les Nesman and WKRP!

"I-Team: Unlicensed Drivers Disregard State's Driving Laws"--headline, WESH-TV Web site (Orlando, Fla.), Nov. 21

I wonder what gave them away?  Maybe the fact that driving without a license is breaking law number 1?

"Cocaine Seized in Big Bust"--headline, Wisconsin State Journal (Madison), Nov. 22

So that is what Pamela Anderson has under her shirt!

humor
8,164 views 10 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Guard Copter to Drop Turkey in East Maui"--headline, Honolulu Advertiser, Nov. 21

Shades of Les Nesman and WKRP!


One of my favorite episodes.

"Scientists Find Genetic Differences Between Humans, Chimps"--headline, Daily Californian (University of California, Berkeley), Nov. 17


None found between Scientists, Chimps

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thanks for the laugh, again, Doc. It was the perfect antidote to a long day (okay, that and a cold beer or two )
Galactic Civilizations III
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

One of my favorite episodes.

Mine too!  I was wondering how many would catch that reference.

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

It was the perfect antidote to a long day (okay, that and a cold beer or two )

I am glad you added that qualifier! Have another one to celebrate your 30 degree days versus our 0 degree days.

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Pinochet in critical condition" (CNN)

~His brother Pinnochio, wife Raggedy Ann, and children, sticks, kindling, and marienette welcome all kind words.

"Hopes fade for mudslide survivors "

If it's like mine where when i drank mudslide....they're doomed.

"Madagascar votes for new president"

~If you thought the animated movie was strange, just wait...

"Top Bush aide: White House must get 'mojo back'"

~It's time to call Austin Powers!

"Big mergers, big rally"

~Yep, it's where police merge with protesters.

"Condemned man called 'crazy as a bedbug'"

~Gives new meaning to, "Sleep tight, don't let the bed bug bite..."
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

"Pinochet in critical condition" (CNN)

~His brother Pinnochio, wife Raggedy Ann, and children, sticks, kindling, and marienette welcome all kind words.

I was wondering if anyone was going to link the puppet with him!  Good one!

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top


Elderly Dying From Falls More Often"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16
Lazarus has nothing on the people of today who seem to be dying many times


Cocaine Seized in Big Bust"--headline, Wisconsin State Journal (Madison), Nov. 22
So that is what Pamela Anderson has under her shirt!


  Very funny as usual doc - keep them coming!
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Very funny as usual doc - keep them coming!


Good to see you back. Capt'n Starkers has been a bear with no discipline in his crew of late.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Duck threatens Barcelona’s Goofy at Club World Cup"

~Disney has no comment.


"No Monty panacea but enough to keep the bandwagon rolling"

~This replacement for Monty Python is not expected to be as great.

"S. Africa recall Adams"

~A complete list of the blemishes can be found at any SA jail.

"Save the snow"

~It's a new calling for the ELA.

"Chavez in Argentina trade talks

~What he doesn't know is what's being traded... (