Call Roto Rotor, and Away goes Troubles down the drain

Well, today was the day.  Actually yesterday was.  For the few of us over the half century that know, no more explanation is necessary.  For the others, well, the medical term is a colonoscopy.  The procedure is not bad, and I was out in 90 minutes.  But the preparation is some nasty crap!

4 years ago, they gave you a bottle of fleet to drink.  This is a powerful diuretic, and tastes like slug slime!  OK, I have never tasted slug slime, but if I had, I would imagine it to taste like this.  There simply is no other way to describe it.  So when making my appointment this year, I asked if they had anything better than Fleet.  "sure!  Fleet did not work that well" (it didn't?  I was clean as a whistle afterwards, even if half my tastebuds had died due to abuse) "We have something better and you can flavor it."

Something better is Halflytely, and the only difference between it and Fleet is the amount you drink. In other words, it was watered down Fleet! And you had to drink a quart of it!  I managed to down it by putting ice in the glass (which meant more glasses) and finally getting it down around 9 last night. And the flavor packet?  Useless!

The second worst thing - or if you are on a diet, I guess you could say it was the best thing - is the fasting.  Roughly 36 hours of it.  NO solids!  No crackers, no nothing!  So by the time the procedure comes around and the nurse and doctor are asking you if you are nervous or concerned, you tell them no (at least I did).  "but you look like it".  No, I am just trying to think of what the first thing I am going to eat when it is over!

So off they go, off you go into lala land (and then when you wake up you feel you are on some time of drug as you are just kind of floating and you know, mellow, and hey man!  Peace).  After all is said and done, your happiest thought is - IT IS OVER!

And so it is.  For another 5 years.  No polyps this time.  I got a clean bill of health (and a clean other orifice as well. ;-) )

So same time, in 5 years, and I wont think about it for the next 4! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!

4,125 views 10 replies
Reply #1 Top
And so it is. For another 5 years. No polyps this time. I got a clean bill of health (and a clean other orifice as well.



Very pleased for you doc that you are in good health! stay that way!
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even if half my tastebuds had died due to abuse


The stuff sounds bleeding awful!
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Reply #2 Top
How did you manage to write this without using the word asshole even once? Sheesh, dude you're good!

(But I'm glad everything, uh...came out all right!)
Reply #4 Top
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there you go Shovel! hahaha
Reply #5 Top

The stuff sounds bleeding awful!

Bleeding aweful does not even come close!  Even chilled, it was NASTY!

Reply #6 Top

How did you manage to write this without using the word asshole even once? Sheesh, dude you're good!

I used my quota on the word for a co-worker yesterday.

Reply #7 Top

there you go Shovel! hahaha

Arrrggg!  Best be careful or Capt'n Starker be given you da lash!

Reply #8 Top

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Ah the good capt'n Starkers, 'e be not dishin' out ta whip, he be takin' ta lashin' from his missus as 'e enjoys it!
Tis when e makes ye walk ta plank ye mus be worried!

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Reply #9 Top
I've had a couple of them due to my IBS. The last one was about 5 years ago and they removed two polyps.

You're right, the prep is far worse than the procedure.
Reply #10 Top
I've had a couple of them due to my IBS. The last one was about 5 years ago and they removed two polyps.

You're right, the prep is far worse than the procedure.


Bummer! They want you to get them once you hit 50, and I had one 4 years ago due to being anemic. But it sucks if you have to start early! Guess you are ready to hit the big 50 then!