Daily Dose of Weird and Stupid Headlines

from JoeUser Forums

"Optimists May Have Longer Lives"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 22

Pessimists think theirs are too long.

"Uma Thurman Breaks Wrist, Shooting Delayed"--headline, United Press International, Dec. 23

Guess she has to be put down.

"Diapers Not the Solution for Stones"--headline, St. Petersburg Times, Dec. 28

Jagger should stick with Depends.

"Planet-Hunting Satellite to Be Launched Today by French Agency"--headline, Bloomberg, Dec. 27

Will surrender to first one it finds.

"Protecting Polar Bears: Your E-Mails"--headline, CNN.com, Dec. 28

"Forward this to as many people as you can!  Do not break the chain!"

"U.S. Moves to Protect Polar Bears"--headline, CBSNews.com, Dec. 27

Haven't they heard of Emails?

"Fords Are Expected to Feature Windows"--headline, Detroit Free Press, Dec. 30

The Future car of 1907? Did we skip back a century in Detroit?

"Aquarium Puts Ailing Beluga Whale to Sleep"--headline, CNN.com, Jan. 2

Those screen savers can put anyone to sleep!

The next 2 seem to be conflicting polls.  But if you look closer at the stories, you will see it is the same Poll!

"AP Poll: Americans Optimistic for 2007"--Dec. 30 http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/optimism_ap_poll_2

"Poll: Americans See Doom, Gloom in 2007"--Dec. 31 http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/2007_predictions_ap_poll_2

humor
9,497 views 10 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Uma Thurman Breaks Wrist, Shooting Delayed"--headline, United Press International, Dec. 23

Guess she has to be put down.


it took me a minute to absorb this one! hahaha
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
"AP Poll: Americans Optimistic for 2007"--Dec. 30 http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/optimism_ap_poll_2

"Poll: Americans See Doom, Gloom in 2007"--Dec. 31 http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/2007_predictions_ap_poll_2


Nothing like a bit of objective reporting eh?

Poll: Americans optimistically pessimistic for 2007.
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

Poll: Americans optimistically pessimistic for 2007.

That is a definite maybe, I think.

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

it took me a minute to absorb this one! hahaha

Given her acting, it would be the humane thing to do.

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Given her acting, it would be the humane thing to do.


ouch!
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Given her acting, it would be the humane thing to do.


I wouldn't exactly call it acting.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

Given her acting, it would be the humane thing to do.


ouch!

I am not a fan of a cute face, with no brains.

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top

I wouldn't exactly call it acting.

That may be my problem.  I thought she was trying to.

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top

Good ones Doc!

Thanks forever!