Daily Dose of Weird and Whacky Headlines

from JoeUser Forums

"Hair Salons Raise Stroke Awareness"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 8

"You brush the hair in a downward stroke, not up into the scalp!"

"Elizabeth Tashjian, 94, an Expert on Nuts, Dies"--headline, New York Times, Feb. 4

Sigmund Freud's sister no doubt.

"113 Nations Blame Man for Climate Change"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 1

Find that MAN!

"Young Harp Seal Found Shot in Sandwich"--headline, WBZ-TV Web site (Boston), Jan. 31

"I'll have a seal and cheese on rye"

"MN Guardmembers Protect Southern Border"--headline, KSTP-TV Web site (St. Paul, Minn.), Feb. 5

Bubbas not welcome in Minnesota.

"Sheep Moved From Paradise to Wyoming"--headline, Daily Inter Lake (Kalispell, Mont.), Feb. 4

I guess the left is right.  If Wyoming is not paradise, and Cheney is from Wyoming, then he must be from the other place!

"Vow to Quit Acid Use by '15"--headline, Philadelphia Inquirer, Feb. 6

They are starting earlier in Philly!

"Crowd Expected at Dam Meeting"--headline, Tennessean (Nashville), Feb. 6

Finally!  Truth about dam meetings!

"China's Bull Run Too Good to Be True"--headline, MarketWatch.com, Feb. 11

Civil War re-enactments in China?

"Sharks kill four people worldwide in "dull" year" --headline, AOL, Feb 13

I dont think the 4 think it was so dull.

"Woman Tied to Scalia Faces DUI Charge"--headline, Daily Herald (DuPage Count, Ill.), Feb. 14

Was the give away when she tied herself to him?

"DEA: More Marijuana Needed for Studies"--headline, Centre Daily Times (State College, Pa.), Feb. 14

Dont forget the munchies dude!

humor
12,989 views 14 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Good ones all. I missed these while you were away.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

Good ones all. I missed these while you were away.

Thanks!  Trying to catch up.  Patching is so boring.

Ashes of the Singularity II
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
These were awesome, especially the one about nuts.

~Zoo
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

especially the one about nuts.

That was my favorite one as well.

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top

but nearly spit out my coke when reading the last one!

Hey, it is all in the name of research dude.

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Guess State College needs more weed for research. Now there's a bunch of guys with their heads screwed on (off?)!
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

Now there's a bunch of guys with their heads screwed on (off?)!

At least they know what they want!

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Good ones, Doc

Though with you being gone you need to change the title to "Weekly Dose of ....
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
Though with you being gone you need to change the title to "Weekly Dose of ....


DST or Standard time?
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Young Harp Seal Found Shot in Sandwich


I. Can't. Resist. Bad. Pun. - so I guess this sandwich would get a seal of approval... Oh, I'm so sorry...
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top

I. Can't. Resist. Bad. Pun. - so I guess this sandwich would get a seal of approval... Oh, I'm so sorry...

Mpphhh, Uh, Grrr.....   Guffaw!  LMAO!

Damn I wish I had thought of that!

Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
"DEA: More Marijuana Needed for Studies"--

- reminds me of a professor we had in med school. He told us if we were ever caught with some "pot" we should always claim we'd confiscated it from our patients for testing at the provincial labs. 

- the same guy told us we should sample everything we prescribed, ...to see how it felt. In retrospect, I think I took him way too seriously. OK now though!
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
- reminds me of a professor we had in med school. He told us if we were ever caught with some "pot" we should always claim we'd confiscated it from our patients for testing at the provincial labs.

- the same guy told us we should sample everything we prescribed, ...to see how it felt. In retrospect, I think I took him way too seriously. OK now though!


Smart Professor! At least in the first case. I am not sure I would want to try all the drugs that doctors prescribe tho.