Help me! My parents are fighting!

I didn't ask for this! :(

from JoeUser Forums
Ok, I've been keeping this a secret for quite awhile now. I haven't even told some of my best friends this. And I think it's time to tell somebody. Well, you see, my parents have been fighting for a very long time now. I mean it's not a fight in which my dad would hit my mom. They just argue and sometimes my dad makes my mom cry for hours. When I see my mom cry it makes me start crying. She doesn't deserve to be yelled at. If I could I would rather be the one yelled rather her being that person. Just last night they got into a huge fight. I was sitting in the living room watching TV when my mom comes in the house into the kitchen and starts to cry. I tried asking what was wrong but she didn't answer me and went straight into her room crying. She was in there for around 15 minutes. But all I could do was sit there and listen to her sob. This is when I started to cry myself. So I went to my room and cried for and hour or so. Then my dad came into the house and my mom was in the kitchen again. I heard them yelling at each other and my mom began to cry again. I didn't catch the whole convo. well i don't know if you'd call it a convon, but anyways, they were agrguing about how nobody ever gets anything done in the house. So my mom yelled back at my dad while crying that from now on she wasn't going to allow her slef to go anywhere and be a stayhome mom 24/7/365. See she goes bowling on wed. nights during the winter and untill april. She told my dad she was even going to give that up just to make him happy. Well that's really all i caught, because then my dad went outside again to finish dinner on the grill. This made my cry even worse. I felt so bad for my mom. The whole time I sat in my room thinking to myself, "why does she have to go through this? It's not fair, she didn't even do anything!" This also made me angry at my dad. He's always yelling at either me or my mom for something that's not "perfectly" done or put away or w/e the case may be. I'm just afriad that one of these days my mom will be physically hurt by my dad. I'm afriad that he's going to end up hitting her or beating her or even killing her. I don't want to see that happen either. I guess you can say I hate my dad because he's always being what I would like to call and @$$hole about everything. I mean if things aren't perfect then he gets mad. Usually it's me that gets in trouble. I figure it's this way because im the oldest child. My bortheres never get into trouble by my dad.

Like I said I've never told anyone. So now all of you know and maybe you can give me some help of some sort. I really don't want anything bad to happen. Maybe even my cyber mom will know what to do. I hope so. So please help me if you can.
Thanks,
~carebear~
1,430 views 6 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Oh, man....this is kind of delicate.....I've had the same kind of problems but my mom kind of fights back and I manage to cool'em down before my mom kills my dad...so I know what I'm talking about....I think the thing to do is to confront your dad...it has to be done judging on what you've written. I know its awkward and may get extremely emotional, but I think that would be one of the best things to do. Just ask him what's going on and try to work out a way to solve this problem between ALL of you....I hope this helps...

You have my best wishes,
~Zoo
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thanks a whole bunches Zoo! But you see one problem there. If I even try to sit down and have a normal convo. with him about ne thing he has a tendency to yell at me for no reason. It's madness! I really don't want to get into their bussiness either. My mom told me earlier not to repeat ne thing that was said while over at my granmother's house today when she was telling her what had happened last night. I really don't want them to get a divorce either. But maybe it's best for them. I dunno. But again, thank you so much for responding since no one else has.

Thanks,
~carebear~
Ashes of the Singularity II
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
I would really like to be able to give you words of wisdom on this Carebear, but not knowing anything of the background or reasons for the fighting, I dont think anyone here would be comfortable telling you what you should do... Sorry hon.... really.

All I can say, is monitor the situations whenever they happen, and if your dad raises a hand against your mum, get straight on the phone and call the authorities.

The worst part of this is that even mental abuse is wrong.... totally wrong.
It's as bad as physical abuse. And as you can see from your own hurt felings, it's not just those involved in the arguments that get hurt.

I do hope you can get the help you need.
Is there an advice line you can call anonymously? Lifeline or similar?
Try directory assistance if you don't have a listing in your phone book.....

Wreckless
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thanks Wreckless. I kinda do realize now that nobody can really help me except for myself. All I can really do is pray and hope things do get better.

~carebear~
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top

All I can really do is pray and hope things do get better.


Carebear~I am really sorry to hear about your family troubles. It sounds like it is a really intense situation for both you and your mom. I grew up with the same kind of thing. And so I know this must really be rough on you. One thing I never did which I regret now? Is I could have talked with somebody at school~a professional~and I never did. I guess I was just too scared and even ashamed? Because it sure is not an easy thing to admit to people that things are kinda messed up at home and stuff, huh? But since you already kind of opened a door here (and I think it's a really good thing you are wanting to talk to folks about this), maybe now you can think about talking to someone who knows all about these matters at school, or maybe Eric's idea of talking to a volunteer anonymously on the phone, huh?


Maybe try to get some different help line phone numbers to call~there must be lots of them, huh? Do a little research online: You're a very clever person, etc. But I know there must be some numbers to call especially for teens? So maybe do a web search for teen help/crisis lines? Most of those are anonymous. So it would be a really cool first step to take, huh? I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers big time, k? Please DO think about some of the different ideas folks are offering you now. Then try out the one(s) you feel most comfortable with. I am sending you my very best wishes....


~MadPoet


P.S. Have you talked to the Capt. about this yet? I bet he might have a really good idea or two up his sleeve, huh? Plus I know you two are such really good friends, etc.


 


 


 


 

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thank you so much bro! I think I am going to talk to more people about this. Even capt.

Thanks so much!
~carebear~