Retracing My Steps

http://www.lulu.com/content/223020
from JoeUser Forums
When I started
I wanted to be Groucho Marx
then I wanted to be John Lennon

because they looked
confident
distinct
alive

in high school
I wanted to be
Tony Manero from “Saturday Night Fever”

then I became Woody Allen
and Richard Pryor
because they helped me feel
less ashamed
that I wasn’t
White or a Christian

in college
I wrote pointless plays
trying to be Neil Simon
and I tried to love
as easily as Leo Buscaglia

then I wanted to be
an iconoclast so I tried being
Warren Farrell
and Lenny Bruce

I became a drunk
trying to write like Bukowski
and I made a lot of lousy
demo recordings trying to be
Prince

I loved and I tried
to salvage broken women
who refused my help
because I saw myself
as a mix
of Jesus Christ and
Rhoda Morgenstern:
I would prove
that I was better than the rest
by loving the unlovable
especially
since I believed
I didn’t deserve better than that

and when I
married and became Pop-o
I tried to become my own father
but that was a dead end too
especially since
he didn’t have much faith in me
until I graduated from college

so here I sit
at 43
retracing my steps
I smile at my folly,
realizing all these people
were only signposts
pointing me to
here and now

this flower is still blooming
this song is not over yet
but I know I’m closer
to the dessert than the appetizer

and I’ve only recently figured out
that I’m my own
do-it-yourself project

but if I do it right
maybe
I’ll be a signpost
in someone else’s life.



I'm still trying to sell this fakakta book, click here
poetry
1,713 views 5 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
my favourite part was

but I know I’m closer

to the dessert than the appetizer



...and I loved some of those signposts that were mine too. Definitely, Buddah, point me to dessert. It's my favorite part. What I like about your work is that it speaks to our commonality, but in an uncommonly refreshing way.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Ah yes, I remember the disguises of youth. These had advantages but there is nothing like being me.

I’m my own
do-it-yourself project


I really connect with this for some reason. Maybe because I like to think I'm good with my hands.

Excellent work, as usual, mate.

Looking forward to the next book too...
Sins of a Solar Empire II
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Finally in middle age you settle down and come to realize just who in the fuck you really are.

And then it's to damn late to do anything about it.

Fantastic and thought-provoking as always. I've learned a lot from you Buddah.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Finally in middle age you settle down and come to realize just who in the fuck you really are.

And then it's to damn late to do anything about it.


Now, that's poetry. Thanks, men, one and all, for your continued reading and kind words.

Moskowitz
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
And then it's to damn late to do anything about it.


I see it differently. As far as I'm concerned it is never too late to start being true to yourself. Still, I know where you're coming from, Joe.