Once upon a time, Men had balls...

from JoeUser Forums
I realize we're at that stage in regards to society during which men and women demand and often are being recognized as equals for many things, but one thing that does not change is that men are supposed to have balls and women are not (at least anatomically speaking). Apparently, even that is starting to change (not anatomically speaking)...

Men are always complaining about how they don't understand women. Maybe if they actually opened their mouths to talk to girls every now and then they would realize that things are quite simple. Sure, some women do bitch and complain a lot. Most, though, don't. How is it always the woman's fault? If a woman likes a man, she's supposed to be embarassed that the guy doesn't like her back. If a guy likes her and she doesn't return the feelings, she's supposed to feel bad about that too. If they are in a relationship, everyone thinks that their problems have to do with the woman being too possessive, clingy, questioning, demanding... Women overanalyze: yeah, they do, because guys can't ever communicate straight up what it is that they want/think/blah blah blah. Why? Because that is ONLY reserved for television.

It's rare for me to actually like a guy. And when I do, I tend to hold back my feelings because I hate being vulnerable (duh). So I pretend that I don't care. It's one of my specialized talents. Well, I decided for the first time, I am going to tell the guy I like that I have a little crush on him. How? I'm going to grow some balls and compensate for the fact that he doesn't have any.
The guy and I were pretty good friends and I really appreciated his enthusiasm and support and began to develop a little crush on him. I felt like he was actually a good guy. Then, one night when we were at a party (but not yet intoxicated), he continuously gave me kind of subtle hints that he was interested in me (i.e. constantly told me that we should just crash at my friends' house for the night together) and we ended up hooking up (no sex). Now, like I said, he's a pretty good guy so he doesn't just "hook up" with any girl. We saw each other a few times after that during which we exchanged vibes that made it seem like we were indeed interested in each other. However, I tend to get kinda shy around guys I like so I might have not seemed as obviously into him as I was (told ya, specialized talent). Instead of driving myself crazy over this, I decided I was going to be upfront with him and say, hey, I kind of have a crush on you, and see where it goes from there. So I asked him to come get ice cream with me in a very casual manner...well, I should say I tried. I sent him a text message, to which he didn't respond. And called him once, which he didn't pick up. I saw him yesterday at a BBQ, and he seemed completely normal and talked to me normally, (though I tried to stay away from him...specialized talent). And I just came to find that he blocked me from AIM (petty, I know). I have never been the annoying kind of girl that will continuously try to get someone's attention so I can't imagine why he would try so hard to avoid me, especially after he sent me clear signals that he was at least kind of interested. It seems to me as if he is just deathly afraid of having anything at all with a woman, and I am so confused by this right now. I don't want a relationship with him, and I've given him ZERO indication that I do. It's as if he is just trying to avoid any situation by which I could be alone with him and tell him that I like him and this confuses the hell outta me because I used to think that guys had balls. I know he doesn't dislike me or think I'm incredibly annoying, and we were friends, so why else can't he at least have the decency to hear me out and respond, hey, I'm flattered, but a) I don't have time for this right now, b) don't return the feelings, c) want nothing with a girl right now or whatever other crap guys feed to women. How am I left to wonder how he could be practically ignoring me, especially when I've done basically nothing and he showed interest in me too! I know I have to completely back off from him, but I can't stand how angry this is making me feel and how he probably doesn't even know that I get it. I just think this whole thing is strange especially because he is a good guy, and at the least I wouldn't expect him to ignore me. What is wrong with the male species? Is it that hard to just act like a man and open your mouth??
2,041 views 4 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Is it that hard to just act like a man and open your mouth??

No, it is not hard at all. But men generally think (we could be wrong, and pls correct me if i am wrong) that saying no to a girl who is interested in them is very humiliating. We really are much more sensitive to women's feelings than women think we are. The reason we think that is we know the feeling, we get rejected much more than women do, and it is humiliating to us. We hate to do the same to women. polite men think that rejecting a girl is the worst thing a man can do. some go to the extreme and start a fight instead of saying no thanks.

Just think of it. How would you have felt if he actually said, thanks but no thanks? ignoring you is his polite way of saying that without actually making you go through the agony of actually hearing it face to face.

That is what we think, be honest and tell us are we wrong?
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sounds like a bad situation. As a guy, my advice would be to wait however long it takes for him to initiate contact, whether it be days or weeks or months. When he does that, ask him what the hell happened. No guy is worth debasing yourself. Remember, letting anybody treat you as if you're worth less than you are will eventually begin to effect your view of yourself.

So. wait him out. Let him know that this one was his fault. And maybe you can find a guy with balls, both literally and figuratively speaking.

Dan
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
But men generally think (we could be wrong, and pls correct me if i am wrong) that saying no to a girl who is interested in them is very humiliating. We really are much more sensitive to women's feelings than women think we are. The reason we think that is we know the feeling, we get rejected much more than women do, and it is humiliating to us. We hate to do the same to women. polite men think that rejecting a girl is the worst thing a man can do


This is one of the sweetest things I've read in a long time.

Gah, I love men.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Actually, I'm gonna have to go with no. Women are thinkers and analyzers. When they don't know, they create all kinds of B.S. in their overactive little brains to try and figure out what happened and why? Leaving a guy to ignore you makes women go crazy. Especially when he acts normal half the time and the other half he doesn't. However, if he had simply said something as quick as, Thanks, I'm flattered, but I don't think I feel the same way or don't have time for this or whatever, then women stop wondering because then they have an answer. Basically, I think it's much better to be turned down with a reason than to always wonder what the hell went wrong. It's just about finding the tact to do it.