Relationship Redux

from JoeUser Forums
She can’t tell me she knows what for
When I’m the one standing at her door
Too afraid to ring the bell in case she’s home
I’m always sitting on the steps waiting, alone
I’m in a constant state of flux
All I’m really hoping for is a relationship redux
But she is always busy with someone new
Rubbing out the chalk marks I so carefully drew
Around everything I thought we shared
Tender moments that show we cared
All these are now erased and gone
No more favourite restaurant or soppy song
No more finishing each other’s sentences
No more counting each other’s glances
No more cutting work to be together
No more here we are now and forever
I’ve worn a patch in her front door stoop
Shallow indentations show where my tears have dripped
I’ve left no other indications I’ve been there
Except a faint scent of sorrow in the air
There is probably a point to the way I feel
But I thought we’d made a life long deal
I staged the sit in and my offer was rejected
She shattered everything I thought sacred and protected
So now all I can do is wait here in the moonlight
And pray she won’t be coming home tonight
poetry
2,656 views 8 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
How I've felt this before . . .

This one rings with melancholy and clarity, Mark. Strong work.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Wow, powerful stuff...

(you on a roll or what?    )
Offworld Trading Company
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sancho,

rings with melancholy and clarity


I was almost going to call it 'A Stalker's Lament' but felt it was quite, erm, stalk-ie enough. Thanks for your comments, mate.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
you on a roll or what?


Well, maybe. I've been so busy with actual work of late, I guess my muse got backed up.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
This is really good Mark! So sad and looked into the feelings of one who has been rejected. Makes me wonder what he's gonna do if she comes home!
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Serenity,

This is really good


Thank you very much. I was hoping this would have the readers wondering what he was going to do when she came home. I'm glad you saw this.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Very good.

I wonder if I like it because I identify with the character so much.

I was hoping this would have the readers wondering what he was going to do when she came home.

I think he would hide in the shadows. I only say that because of the name you were going to call this poem.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Chris,

Very good


Thanks mate. I think I identify with the character somewhat too. The great thing about having a vivid and active imagination is I can often write characters who are more dangerous, if you know what I mean. I've been the poor sap sitting on the steps many times but I've never been capable of stalking or worse. I'm just not that type of person.

Thanks for your always-considered comments, mate.