I'm not say that my granddaughter is perfect. She is not. Nor is anyone else. A friend had ask her to the party. She hadn't been out for awhile because her boyfriend was out of town. So she decided to go. She had had mouth lazer surgery that morning and the Doctor had prescribe her some pain medicine. I had given her the medication right before she left to go out. I didn't know that she was going to be drinking and she didn't know that taking the medication would heighin the effects of drinking. I know that she did not take more than what the doctor ordered because I have the bottle and know how many the doctor ordered and how many she has left in the bottle. That's the only thing we can think of that might have cause her to become drunk so quickly.
As far as going on with the case, I understand what you are saying about not putting herself through the torture of it. It is just ashame that he is going to walk away knowing he got away with it and she will have to deal with it for the rest of her life. It has definitely hurt her physically and mentally. I've seen how it has effected her. She is getting better though. She has a lot of support from God, her family, and her boyfriend.

If this weren't someone else's blog, Leuki, I'd tell you exactly where to go. This sort of over-simplified, knee-jerk reaction is exactly why I usually ignore anything you've got to say.

What a wally!

Very good.




You probably failed to notice that I was being sarcastic. It was the over-simplified knee-jerk reaction of others that I objected to.

Next time, I suggest, think about what you read and look at the context before you decide to attack.

I have to say ... damn...  what were the two of you thinking?  Every prescription comes with a pamphlet explaining the side effects.  And the bottle, I am sure, warns about not drinking with it.

If she is 20, why were you the one giving it to her?  Why was she not the one being responsible for administering her own medication and learning about its warnings?

I have a feeling that this whole situation is a lot different than is being portrayed on here.  It just doesn't make sense.

How do you know his age?

Yes I know you should not drink with any pain medicine. I had put the medicine up because she had put it on the counter. She ask where it was and I gave it to her. It wasn't like I physically put it in her mouth or told her it was time to take her medicine like a child. I guess it did sound like I was the one who gave it to her but I didn't. I just gave her her bottle. She is responsible for administering her own medication. I guess she wasn't thinking when she drank. We all do things without thinking sometimes.
As far as the boys age: Her mom found out how old the boy was when she talked to the state trooper that is handling the case.

You know, it is people like you who just make me want to forget about blogging here again. How many times do I read you 'attacking' someone completely out of context. This article asked a question, you wanker, and I answered it. My response did not call for a sarcastic comment from you or anyone else.

Just so you know, dickwad, I am aware you were being sarcastic but I still saw no need for it which is why I 'attacked'. Get a life, turd!

Yeah, what he said!!!

I am trying really hard to way all sides here because I have both sons and a daughter and I also remember quite well what it was like to be 20.

A) NO ONE should drink while on pain meds
If you aren't 21 (in the US) and drink, you are a criminal
C) Bad things are known to happen when you allow yourself to lose control under the influence of drugs (alcohol is a drug)
D) The girl in this case made bad decisions that lead to a traumatic experience
E) The boy made bad decisions that, if convicted of rape, will ruin his entire life

I honestly feel if they were both drunk, they were both equally responsible. Unless there was a sober witness that can testify that the boy made advances that weren't welcomed at the time (not when she "woke up"), then he shouldn't be prosecuted as a rapist.

Rape is such an emotional subject. People say not to blame the victim but sometimes it isn't so clear who the victim is. None of us, even possible the granparent, knows this girl well enough to come to a clear conclusion.

What about this scenerio:

Girl gets blasted at party, has sex with boy, boyfriend of 3yrs finds out, she freaks and comes up with rape so boyfriend won't dump her.

I am not stating this is the case because I don't know the girl at all. I am just saying that it is a possibility that we can't rule out with the info given here.

I've served as a juror on a murder trial and can safely say I hope some of you here are never on a jury.

I want to qualify that if things happened exactly as the granparent said, i.e., she was unconcious and was violated, then it is definitely rape. Again, it will be impossible to prove without a sober witness. It is just a bad situation any way you slice it.

Yes, that would be interesting. Please tell me. How often do you read me attacking someone? Are you sure you don't have me confused with somebody else?




I didn't say anything about your response. I was talking to that sexist, not you. That's when you attacked me. Your answer to a question had nothing to do with it, and my sarcastic comment was not directed at you or your answer.

Gee, you didn't even post until after I posted the comment in question. And you thought it was directed at you???



I wasn't home over the weekend. Ironically my life interferes with my forum activity. I was in Duesseldorf in Germany and didn't have excellent Internet access.

So I understand you decided to attack me over my sarcastic attitude towards another poster? And you call me names? And all that under the umbrella of the claim that you see me do that sort of thing "completely out of context" very often?

Ok, listen. I think you have me confused with somebody else. I don't even post so often here. Sometimes I am away for months at a time. It is unlikely that _I_ would make you "forget about blogging here". I also don't regularly attack me, neither in nor out of context.

I suggest you try to figure out with whom you have me confused, and we'll let it be until then. I am not one to walk away from a flame war (hence I am here), but I am also not one to let it continue into complete mayhem.

Blatant sexism disgusts me. We do not know whether the boy is a rapist and whether the girl is a victim. And I am not the only one who noticed that. I just take issue with self-righteous people making those quick decisions. I wouldn't want them on a jury.



Oh, I was sure that might be your choice of words as well. But you are not confused, you are angry. Different story.

Indeed. But as you said, she quite possibly made the same bad decision.



Obviously they would be. We cannot assume that a girl who is drunk is not reponsible for her actions while a boy is.

I also find it interesting that for HIM we are discussing should he be put away and his life ruined or not whether for HER we are discussing whether she is a victim or not.

Yet what we KNOW is that they were drunk and had sex and that one of the two (at least) claims she didn't remember giving consent (while being drunk).

A drunk victim and a drunk rapist are not equally responsible for the crime.

She was drunk. That means she was asking for it, right?

Her being drunk isn't the asking for it. But if she was asking for it, quite literally, and only because she's drunk, then another drunk person might construe her saying "Have sex with me" as consent.

She doesn't care. She has already decided that the boy is a rapist, hence whatever happened must have been rape. And since rape happened, the boy is a rapist.

Of course it's possible that she consented while drunk and the boy, equally drunk, made the same mistake. For all we know, it's possible.

There are a few more possibilities, but all of them assume that girls and boys are equally capable of making decisions and equally affected by alocohol in doing so (and equally capable of comitting crimes against other people). Some people have not yet reached the level where they can entertain such a view of humanity.

...

Nah, don't want to escalate a flame war.

Just because she was drunk doesn't mean she was a victim and his having sex while drunk doesn't make him a rapist. All depends on their actions prior to the act. I don't know any sane person that would say that a girl getting drunk means they're "asking for it" but some literally do get drunk and ask for it.

Leauki,

This is what I said:



And this is how you responded:



So, this wasn't you? I think you're the one who is confused here, not me.

Which probably means that you still won't tell me how you "know" that the young man is a rapist, I suppose?

I am confused, yes. I have said I don't know what happened. My sarcasm was referring to the fact that some people are apparently not confused but made a decision to "know" what happened.

I do not think that a young man on her proves that the young man has done something wrong (and she hasn't). I cannot as easily as you demand punishment for someone whom I do not know and of whom I know nothing except that a drunk girl claims he raped her.

Why do you know that she did not give consent and then fell asleep later? How is it obvious to you that the young man is a rapist? It baffles me. It really does.

What you are proposing is mob rule. We would punish anybody if we can simply find somebody drunk to accuse them of something.

Will that still be acceptable if it happens to you?

The part that sold me was that she remembers being "told to go into the bedroom to sleep." Though she was not very smart for drinking while on medication, to me, that line tells me that she did fall asleep there.

Maybe she was lying, maybe she doesn't remember saying anything before she fell asleep, but that's what it sounds like to me. She fell asleep, and woke up being raped.

She also may have fallen asleep and "woke up", without remembering it depending on what she was on.  I am a sleep walker.  I have turned lights on in my house and said things to my husband while asleep.  He thought I was awake before when I talked to him, but I can't remember any of it in the morning.  That CAN and DOES happen to even sober people.  Add some alcohol and drugs, and you can be in all sorts of animated, funky states.

The point is that WE don't know what happened.  SHE may not even know what happened.  If the boy was drunk, it is possible that she was interacting with him without him knowing the condition she was in.  It's not possible to tell.  Unless there was a sober witness, I doubt anyone will be able to prove anything.

Because I know a lot of drunken young men think with their penis' or their fists. They don't think of the implications of their actions and quite often get themselves into lots of trouble because of it.



Looking back, I note a lot of people made the same decision, yet somehow they escaped your sarcasm. Maybe you thought I was a soft target, I don't know, but my response was based purely on the information at hand. For future reference, if you're going to call me out, I will always come out swinging.