Drugs, God, taking it up the arse and alter-egos
The SS. Anonymity heads into an asteroid field
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JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Captains Log: The SS. Anonymity was steering a steady course through cyberspace for 3 earth days when suddenly her radars alerted me of an asteroid field coming within range. I rocked back in my (very funky) captains-capsule and pondered my next move...
I've been very anal about what I've been writing on these pages, and a few articles have made me feel even more inclined to blast those metaphorical asteroids which are blocking my path to free expression. Asteroids in the form of, as the title says, religion, homosexuality and drugs.
So, the best way to do this is just to jump into the big icy lake at the deep end and let the reaction of JU determine wether I sink or swim. I don't believe in God, I would infact find religion ridiculous were it not fot the billions of people who find happiness and joy in God or the wars and hate that following him (and others like him) has created. For these reasons I have respect for the teachings of the church in that they have siginificant affect upon the society in which I live. (Btw, thorn, although I do not share your faith, i was writing truthfully when I said that I think that your faith will guide you towards the answers your searching for).
For years, I didn't believe in anything at all - rather than having a 'belief system', I had an 'acceptance system'. I 'accepted' that the world was round, that gravity caused things to fall, that when i close my eyes my body will still be there and that my life was reality and at sleep i dreamed (and not the other way around). And after years (and years) of bleak pseudo-nihilism, I emerged from that vacuum of nothing into the natural world where the systems of earth fill me with all the wonder and answers and realities and faith that my heart could desire and my head can trust.
In my exploration of the world I am inclined to read Nieztche and the Marquis de Sade, George Orwell and James Lovelock.
I developed the art of surfing over my thoughts and donning a mask of superficiality, I deflected conversations about the 'stuff that mattered' by talking LOUDLY about other things, sex being the main one. Unfortunatley for me, it made me seperate sex from everything else and loose respect for it - which is odd considering how much a part of your soul and your mind, sensual pleasure (and pain) are. I'm regaining that respect now, but that's another story (which is tied up a great deal in a feminist awakening).
But boy could I talk about sex... where some groups would titter and giggle about blow-jobs I was raucus about fistings and threesomes. And I was surrounded by friends who could be just as shameless and as outspoken as I, we drank we smoked we got wasted on pills and coke and i had a fantastic time. We felt so free - not because we were living a rock'n'roll cliche, but because we could talk about bullshit and get up to bullshit and never have to explain ourselves to each other. My philisophical turmoil could stay hidden deep inside of me... And I think that they felt the same way. Then those halcyon days ended, I moved on and now all that I had suppressed comes rushing to the surface and it feels amazing. After years of doubting the world I seem to have created solid thoughts and opinions about it - at last!
But my happiness is marred by a lack of confidence in sharing my thoughts. It seems the confidence I had when discussing just how many dicks is it possible to get into one pussy, seems to have vanished when my superficiality did. Maybe bravery is what's called for - well I've already told you I have no faith in God, but rather in nature, I've said fisting, pussy and cock. I've mentioned the ecstasy and the weed. Where next with my confessions?
I leave it up to you... should I continue with my release?
I've been very anal about what I've been writing on these pages, and a few articles have made me feel even more inclined to blast those metaphorical asteroids which are blocking my path to free expression. Asteroids in the form of, as the title says, religion, homosexuality and drugs.
So, the best way to do this is just to jump into the big icy lake at the deep end and let the reaction of JU determine wether I sink or swim. I don't believe in God, I would infact find religion ridiculous were it not fot the billions of people who find happiness and joy in God or the wars and hate that following him (and others like him) has created. For these reasons I have respect for the teachings of the church in that they have siginificant affect upon the society in which I live. (Btw, thorn, although I do not share your faith, i was writing truthfully when I said that I think that your faith will guide you towards the answers your searching for).
For years, I didn't believe in anything at all - rather than having a 'belief system', I had an 'acceptance system'. I 'accepted' that the world was round, that gravity caused things to fall, that when i close my eyes my body will still be there and that my life was reality and at sleep i dreamed (and not the other way around). And after years (and years) of bleak pseudo-nihilism, I emerged from that vacuum of nothing into the natural world where the systems of earth fill me with all the wonder and answers and realities and faith that my heart could desire and my head can trust.
In my exploration of the world I am inclined to read Nieztche and the Marquis de Sade, George Orwell and James Lovelock.
I developed the art of surfing over my thoughts and donning a mask of superficiality, I deflected conversations about the 'stuff that mattered' by talking LOUDLY about other things, sex being the main one. Unfortunatley for me, it made me seperate sex from everything else and loose respect for it - which is odd considering how much a part of your soul and your mind, sensual pleasure (and pain) are. I'm regaining that respect now, but that's another story (which is tied up a great deal in a feminist awakening).
But boy could I talk about sex... where some groups would titter and giggle about blow-jobs I was raucus about fistings and threesomes. And I was surrounded by friends who could be just as shameless and as outspoken as I, we drank we smoked we got wasted on pills and coke and i had a fantastic time. We felt so free - not because we were living a rock'n'roll cliche, but because we could talk about bullshit and get up to bullshit and never have to explain ourselves to each other. My philisophical turmoil could stay hidden deep inside of me... And I think that they felt the same way. Then those halcyon days ended, I moved on and now all that I had suppressed comes rushing to the surface and it feels amazing. After years of doubting the world I seem to have created solid thoughts and opinions about it - at last!
But my happiness is marred by a lack of confidence in sharing my thoughts. It seems the confidence I had when discussing just how many dicks is it possible to get into one pussy, seems to have vanished when my superficiality did. Maybe bravery is what's called for - well I've already told you I have no faith in God, but rather in nature, I've said fisting, pussy and cock. I've mentioned the ecstasy and the weed. Where next with my confessions?
I leave it up to you... should I continue with my release?
. (jooooking) 