Obsessive-compulsive disorder
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
I have to admit that I am strange, there is no doubt in my mind that I'm not completely sane. I have issues with silence, which is pretty strange for someone who is quite happy to be in their own company. Silence infuriates me. So I talk to myself, I usually tell myself off, or bitch and moan about something, or attempt to make myself laugh, something I'm quite good at, considering just how funny I am, or at least how funny I think I am. Knowing what I'm going to fo for the next fifty years scares me, like you wouldn't believe, if my day is going to be the same everyday, what's the point? Having said that, I'm set in my ways, I like things to go a certain way, and change shakes me up. I have a pattern that I like to follow, and I have some odd habits to go with it.
As a child this was a lot worse, I used to have these little things I would have to do, and if I didn't do them in my mind something bad would happen. I had to switch a light switch four times when i went in a room before I left it on. When I got in the bath I had to blink really fast ten times, just in case the world may come to an end if I didn't. There were others but I guess i've just blocked them out. Even now I have them, I wash my hands alot, I went through a phase of having to change my clothes when I got nervous. It was so bad that it got up to something like ten times a day, now that is a lot of washing! I also have this obsession when I'm walking down the street that when I walk past men they have to pass by me on the side nearest the road, I don't know why but that's just the way I am. Except for old men, they may have the inside of the road.
Now I think these obsessions are just quite mild, I don't HAVE to do them, but they make me feel better if I do, which may not be normal, but harmless to me. However these things can be taken to the opposite extreme Link when I read this I found it incredibley sad that someones life can be taken over like this, that you feel that total lack of control, and the only way you can regain it is by doing such things! It is mostly caused by worrying. I worry a whole lot, about things I have no control over, I have started to realise that it does no good, but in my mind if i don't worry then something bad will happen. There are lots of people who have this disorder to a far worse degree, and you don't even know it's going on. It's not a illness that you can see, people just presume you are weird, or strange, and maybe you are, but it can't be helped. I think it just needs to be understood a little better, and that's what I'm trying to do! I hope no one thinks i'm a complete weirdo now *looks scared*
As a child this was a lot worse, I used to have these little things I would have to do, and if I didn't do them in my mind something bad would happen. I had to switch a light switch four times when i went in a room before I left it on. When I got in the bath I had to blink really fast ten times, just in case the world may come to an end if I didn't. There were others but I guess i've just blocked them out. Even now I have them, I wash my hands alot, I went through a phase of having to change my clothes when I got nervous. It was so bad that it got up to something like ten times a day, now that is a lot of washing! I also have this obsession when I'm walking down the street that when I walk past men they have to pass by me on the side nearest the road, I don't know why but that's just the way I am. Except for old men, they may have the inside of the road.
Now I think these obsessions are just quite mild, I don't HAVE to do them, but they make me feel better if I do, which may not be normal, but harmless to me. However these things can be taken to the opposite extreme Link when I read this I found it incredibley sad that someones life can be taken over like this, that you feel that total lack of control, and the only way you can regain it is by doing such things! It is mostly caused by worrying. I worry a whole lot, about things I have no control over, I have started to realise that it does no good, but in my mind if i don't worry then something bad will happen. There are lots of people who have this disorder to a far worse degree, and you don't even know it's going on. It's not a illness that you can see, people just presume you are weird, or strange, and maybe you are, but it can't be helped. I think it just needs to be understood a little better, and that's what I'm trying to do! I hope no one thinks i'm a complete weirdo now *looks scared*
