Captain Jack Sparrow Captain Jack Sparrow

G.R.O.S.S. communication thread.

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G.R.O.S.S. communication thread.

from Stardock Forums
Cringe in fear do gooders. The G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy alienS) empire is now formed. In less than an hour we have jumped 95 other Pacifist Doo Gooder victim empires and lept into 40th out of 135 ranked.

We are an evil empire bent on controlling everything and showing all the other empires out there who's boss. US. Are you listening Euro-"Oh lets let everyone be a senator and give em a vote doo gooder democracy alliance?" We come for you.

For a limited time, (untill I decide otherwise) 5 Pure Evil games, (or just impressing me with your game evilness) submitted will get you a Senatorship. Later, being the evil empire pyramid scheme we are, it will take 10. Of course, being the evil empire we are, that gives you no benefits, no pay, but all the alien carnage you crave most.

Now we do realize that sometimes, you just have to fake being good. You sometimes just have to infiltrate that pacifist party. We understand. But we aren't a kinder gentler empire and don't let their pacifism go to your head. And just sometimes, you gotta let the Aliens live (where else would you find slaves for the heavy metal lava mines?)

In the future, we shall update each other in the empire via this thread, brag of our conquests, drink blood wine, and generally just poke fun (creatively and humorously) at those players whom we find to be too goody goodyish.

Our mottos.

G.R.O.S.S. Where being good is merely a temporary strategy.

Just win baby.

Here's your ration of skin you do gooder wimp Drengin slime. Now get back to work

EBZeroMatrix you have been made a senator.

I repeat. Cringe in fear, we come for you.





100,415 views 3,706 replies
Reply #1901 from Stardock Forums Top
Cool...heh, the weekend awaits, and soon the torrential storming of my games will hopefully put me in first place. (...the ultimate test of the 'master's' skills)
End of quote


Been there, done that. HEHE. Good luck. Crank em out. Pontius Bombs coming.
Reply #1902 from Stardock Forums Top
Interesting! So when I get late, stop moving sliders for research, no value there. Build lots of killing machines!
End of quote


Amm's give you a good boost to rating for a very low price.


I'll email you a full rundown of what I do if you want. You'll have to leave it. I'm gonna write it up and post it later step by step.
Galactic Civilizations IV
Reply #1903 from Stardock Forums Top
Got a great start a new game, knocked out all the minors (Alexians, Caranoids, and Yor) with a survery ship.

I typically like to leave the Caranoids, but I had a bad starting position system-wise (great for resources) and I couldn't leave them their 26 PQ.

Despite a long work week, I should be able to maintan a game/week.

I'd love to hold first for a while this time...

Happy Raiding,
Cypher
Reply #1904 from Stardock Forums Top
Dear GROSS,

This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in meta. GROSS no longer meets my high intellectual standards. I am sick of being in a stagnant empire. Also, your literary skills don't quite measure up to my expectations for fellow gamers as I prefer messages (including strategy posts) to follow a story arc.

I have decided to defect to the pirates of the South Seas. As you can see my points have put GROSS in first place.

I want an empire where I can drink beer and watch the nature channel without offending Mrs. Pax. This would meet my deepest intellectual and emotional needs in a way that GROSS does not and can not...

If they will have me, I would like to have an animal persona. Being an animal, particularly a cuddly animal, would greatly increase my standing with my 8.5 month old daughter, Ashlyn, whose first words were 'dog', then 'cat'.

I have never been to Australia or New Zealand, but I did once have a visa to teach in New Zealand and I drank my way through Amsterdam with an Aussie rugby team.

If they don't take me, I will probably demand that you make me a senator and then beg for you to take me back...

I hope you can all understand. I wish you well.

Sincerely,

Cypher Pax

PS) Can you tell I'm procrastinating today?

[Message Edited]
Reply #1905 from Stardock Forums Top
The Iron Chef – Torian Sushi Challenge

Today on the Food Network, the Iron Chef’s Torian Sushi Challenge

The host appears in lavish Japanese robes. The entire show is in Japanese with a bunch of subtitles. Imagine LOTS of conversation, but few subtitles – this is the reason I have never watched an entire episode so I apologize if I get something wrong.
Torian Sushi is a delicacy across the galaxy. First introduced in Drendin cuisine, Torian was a staple food, not a delicacy. Pontius Bruin Pilot, the pirate emperor and gourmand, became interested in Drendin cuisine because he found some many other aspects of their culture enlightening (such as the fact that the Drendin use the same phrase for starting a war or initiating diplomatic contact). Pontius Bruin Pilot had established a successful chain of KFD restaurants, but he wanted a higher end restaurant chain as well.

Pontius started a signature line of restaurants named ‘Pontius’ that featured a unique blend of Drendin fusion cuisine. The galactic food critics raved about this chain and it known-galaxy wide as THE restaurant of the ages. In fact, the ‘Pontius’ restaurant is better known as The Restaurant of Eternity. This chain is so exclusive that is it considered a Galactic Wonder and Pontius’ strict branding strategy grants each restaurant a monopoly over a section of the galaxy.

Please welcome the reigning Iron Chef – Pontius Bruin Pilot. The camera pans to wild applause.

Our challenger is a prodigy from the Fellowship of the Ring, Theoden of Rohan. His accomplishments are many – including figuring out how to bring several Caranoid recipes into Galactic cuisine. Theoden is a renaissance man whose is the Fellowship web master, publishing tycoon, and successful overlord.

As the challenger, Theoden will go first. Theoden prepares gets all his ingredients from the Torian Sushi bar. He prepares a veritable feast of Torian Thermidor, Rock steamed Torian Sushi, and Baked Alaskan Torian. The crowd is really impressed.

Next comes, Pontius Bruin Pilot. He walks in carrying a machete. Stage crew wheel in a tank of Torians. Pontius looks them all over and selects two. The subtitles explain that Pontius believes Torians taste best when served less than an hour after they are prepared. Pontius prepared Peppered Torian, Torian Sashimi, and Sweet and Sour Torian. For dessert, he prepares Torian Blood Larvae pudding.

It is now time to introduce the Judges:

The first judge is an expert on real sushi with a real big appetite: Jaws the Wanderer.
(Inexplicably the James Bond theme plays as Jaws is introduced)
The second judge is a literary critic and Fellowship overlord: Gengsta
The third the President of the CariElf fanclub: MM7
The fourth judge is the metaverse favorite: CariElf
The fifth judge is master diplomat and sommelier: Hurley


Jaws: I know my chum and my sushi. I love it fresh – Pontius has my vote. Great effort by Theoden though. He definitely has a future on this show.

Gengsta: I found Pontius to be generic. Butchering the Torians on stage was so clique. He needs to learn some new tricks.

MM7: I can’t choose between them. I am jealous I didn’t prepare this meal for my beloved CariElf myself. I can’t choose.

CariElf: Much better than standard developer fare. But after developing the metaverse, I’m pretty sick of Torians…. I can’t decide which I like least.

MM7: I would never serve your Torian, beloved. What can I do as atonement for suggesting you’d like this?

Hurley: Both chefs appeal to my palate. As a penguin, I am an excellent judge of sushi. I am honored that two master chefs would prepare such a feast for me. Both men are paragons of cooking. However, Pontius’s wine selection was more appropriate to the meal. I vote for Pontius.

Host: And there you have it. Pontius is the Iron Chef. Stay tuned for next week when the topic is Arcean Ribs.
Reply #1906 from Stardock Forums Top
der der der der. der der der. didlio do do doo.

Nice work Cypher... I would suggest a brush tail possum..

Cute as anything but with CLAWS... hey that rhymes with JAWS.. dum dum. dum dum. dum dum dum... oops getting carried away.
Reply #1907 from Stardock Forums Top
Before we use the transmorgifrier on you cypher, you should know it's dialed to tree sloth. Also we'd need a permission slip from your better half, Mrs. Pax.

I'm going to bed early for the night... cya all tomorrow.
Reply #1908 from Stardock Forums Top
Welcome our newest marauder bpleshek. Upgrade to 1.05 via stardock central bp, and watch the fun and points soar!!!

Good night everyone and good work.
Reply #1909 from Stardock Forums Top
I suggest that Cypher has had some spare time on his paws. LOL CypherPax the brush tail possum....hmmm. Do they compete with koalas for nice trees?

Reply #1910 from Stardock Forums Top
If they will have me, I would like to have an animal persona. Being an animal, particularly a cuddly animal, would greatly increase my standing with my 8.5 month old daughter, Ashlyn, whose first words were 'dog', then 'cat'.
End of quote


Hmm, possum is good. Look cuddly, have nasty claws and their numbers have increased since european colonisation of Australia. (Also been exported as a MAJOR pest to NZ. :) ) They do smell a bit though.. :notsure:

Maybe a Tasmanian Devil? http://www.abchsn.com/users/aus_wildlife/tasmanian_devil.html

or

http://www.marsupialcrc.com.au/webhome/marsuipals/tasdevil.htm

Reply #1912 from Stardock Forums Top
Hurls, you are Pure Evil! Can I quote here:

One of the unusual behaviours of the Tasmanian Devil is the way they devour the carcass of larger mammals. They consume the carcass of larger mammals from the inside out. There is always something a little unnerving when seeing a dead wombat carcass heaving and bulging as a Tasmanian Devil emerges from the inside the carcass covered in gore.

Mating takes place in March and April. The female Tasmanian Devil has four teats in a well developed backward-directed pouch and suckles several young in her pouch for about 15 weeks. Once infant Devils leave the mothers pouch they are left in well concealed dens, usually burrows or hollow logs, and by November are starting to explore the world outside of the den.

Now, is the above image going to reassure Wombie? And poor Cypher will only get a bit in March and April? So his fun for the year is already over? Hurls, what were you thinking. OK, Cypher is a Tasmanian Devil.
Reply #1913 from Stardock Forums Top
However, Pontius’s wine selection was more appropriate to the meal.
End of quote


:D

Maybe Sake though? http://www.japansake.or.jp/
Reply #1914 from Stardock Forums Top
As Pontius went off to bed. Killa overheard the following conversation, albeit onesided in the Pax quarters.


Mrs. Pax: YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LET THAT PONTIUS USE THAT TRANSMORGIFRIER ON YOU. DID YOU NOT HEAR IT'S TURNED ONTO TASMANIAN PLATYPUS OR KANGAROO OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? AND WHO'S GONNA BUILD MORE GAZEBOS IN THE YARD HUH!!!!??? ANSWER ME THAT NOW SMARTY. THOUGHT SO. WE CAN GET A DOG TO PLEASE THE KID CYPHER, WE DON'T NEED A SLOTH!!! ESPECIALLY IF THAT SLOTH IS DADDY!!!!. NOW TOMORROW YOU'RE GONNA TELL THEM FORGET ALL ABOUT THIS HAIRBRAINED SCHEME OF YOURS TO GET OUT OF MORE DUTIES AROUND THE HOUSE AND GET TO WORK ON MY WALKWAY!!!!!!

Killa shudderred at this.
Reply #1915 from Stardock Forums Top
As Pontius went off to bed. Killa overheard the following conversation, albeit onesided in the Pax quarters.


Mrs. Pax: YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LET THAT PONTIUS USE THAT TRANSMORGIFRIER ON YOU. DID YOU NOT HEAR IT'S TURNED ONTO TASMANIAN PLATYPUS OR KANGAROO OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? AND WHO'S GONNA BUILD MORE GAZEBOS IN THE YARD HUH!!!!??? ANSWER ME THAT NOW SMARTY. THOUGHT SO. WE CAN GET A DOG TO PLEASE THE KID CYPHER, WE DON'T NEED A SLOTH!!! ESPECIALLY IF THAT SLOTH IS DADDY!!!!. NOW TOMORROW YOU'RE GONNA TELL THEM FORGET ALL ABOUT THIS HAIRBRAINED SCHEME OF YOURS TO GET OUT OF MORE DUTIES AROUND THE HOUSE AND GET TO WORK ON MY WALKWAY!!!!!!

Killa shudderred at this.


Absolutely priceless
Reply #1916 from Stardock Forums Top
Now, is the above image going to reassure Wombie? And poor Cypher will only get a bit in March and April? So his fun for the year is already over? Hurls, what were you thinking. OK, Cypher is a Tasmanian Devil.
End of quote


LOL LOL

Reply #1917 from Stardock Forums Top
As Pontius went off to bed. Killa overheard the following conversation, albeit onesided in the Pax quarters.Mrs. Pax: YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LET THAT PONTIUS USE THAT TRANSMORGIFRIER ON YOU. DID YOU NOT HEAR IT'S TURNED ONTO TASMANIAN PLATYPUS OR KANGAROO OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? AND WHO'S GONNA BUILD MORE GAZEBOS IN THE YARD HUH!!!!??? ANSWER ME THAT NOW SMARTY. THOUGHT SO. WE CAN GET A DOG TO PLEASE THE KID CYPHER, WE DON'T NEED A SLOTH!!! ESPECIALLY IF THAT SLOTH IS DADDY!!!!. NOW TOMORROW YOU'RE GONNA TELL THEM FORGET ALL ABOUT THIS HAIRBRAINED SCHEME OF YOURS TO GET OUT OF MORE DUTIES AROUND THE HOUSE AND GET TO WORK ON MY WALKWAY!!!!!!Killa shudderred at this.
End of quote


LOL LOL LOL
Reply #1918 from Stardock Forums Top
Back on the front page! Ha HA!!! :D Now lets see how many minutes this lasts...

And G.R.O.S.S. has its slim lead back! Set the timer for this one too. ;)
Reply #1919 from Stardock Forums Top
Daddy-Daughter Day

CypherPax walked through the airlock to the captured freighter, careful not to bump his daughter's head on the roof, as she was riding piggy-back on him.

"Now, this is what we call a flying farm. Sometimes, some of the aliens build these cute little ships, and whiz all around the galaxy. Of course, us pirates race to catch them, and the first one who finds them gets to eat them! There's not as many as you'd find on a farm planet, but it's a nice way to brighten up the day. And personally, I think free-range aliens taste better."

Cypher put his hand to his ear-piece for a moment and listened. Then he turned to his daughter again.

"There's a group of Torians cornered in the fore-deck. Would you like to see them? See the tasty aliens before we eat them?"

Ashlyn nodded. Aliens were so much fun to look at (especially the colorful ones), and the sounds they made were funny.

"I think today's dish of the day is Sashimi - don't cry, darling, I'll make sure the cook prepares some Torian Puree just for you!"

Ashlyn grinned and clapped her hands in approval. "Yum-yum tor-an!"

"Tor-I-an, darling, tor-I-an."

When they entered the freighter's fore-deck, they saw a large group of Torians cornered by pirates. Several animals were standing in front of the Torians, arguing.

"Okay, okay, who took a bite out of the Torians before we divided the plunder?" asked the duck.
The wombat waddled over, took a look at the massive shark-sized bite missing from the Torian, then threw an accusing look at the nearest shark.
"What? I only took one bite!" said the shark defensively.

Ashlyn tapped her father on the shoulder and pointed at the animals.

"Yum-yum?" she asked.
"No, dear." Pax quickly replied. "We don't eat them. They're pirates, just like daddy."

He called the animals over and introduced them to his daughter. She was enamoured with them, and started to play with all of them, when Cypher looked at his watch.

"Oh, drat. We'll be late, we've got to go. Cya, guys!"
He picked up his daughter and hurried to the nearest exit.

Ashlyn looked at her father accusingly.

"Don't worry, dear, we'll get another chance to see the animals soon. Besides, more and more pirates get transformed into animals everyday. In fact" Cypher said as he started to daydream wistfully, "I've been offered the chance to be transformed myself..."

Ashlyn's eyes lit up at this.
"Daddy, be doggy!"

"What?" Cypher looked around nervously, and realized he'd said more than he intended. "Well, um, you see", he stammered.

"Be doggy!" she commanded imperiously.

Cypher sighed. As they approached the door to his quarters, he said "I'll see what I can do."

"Where have you been?" Mrs. Pax demanded as he walked in.

"Oh, we just ran across some free-range Torians, I had to make sure everything went like it's supposed to."

"Really, and you didn't bother telling me... do you know how long I've spent here on this Drengin stew? And now, at the last minute, you tell me you're going out for some Torian with your mates! I don't think so! You're staying here until this stew is all finished!"

Cypher knew when to act whipped. "Yes, dear."

A sudden thought crossed Mrs Pax's mind.
"You didn't take Ashlyn, did you?"
"What? No, of course not. I left her at the Frisky Wombat Daycare Centre, just like you asked."

Her face softened a bit, and she started to smile. Then, Ashlyn crawled over to Mrs Pax and tugged on her dress. "Daddy be doggy." she said proudly.

"Really." Mrs Pax said, with a voice as hard as gravel.

Cypher looked nervously at his boots.
[Message Edited]
Reply #1921 from Stardock Forums Top
Looks like the transmorgifrier will be set to Dingo!!!!
Ashlyn at being 8.5 months old obviously doesn't know about the Dingoes penchant for stealing babies away from unsuspecting parents (although I would like to point out that this was never proved).

If I were Wombie i'd get worried with his 8 or is it 9 little hairy ones running around.
Reply #1922 from Stardock Forums Top
ALL RIGHT - HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!! What's this about a Tassie Devil joining the ranks? I mean, I love Cypher and all, and he's most welcome in the Posse...but a Tassie Devil? It would send my anxiety levels through the roof! I'd have to drink more beer to settle my nerves! Oh, wait...
Reply #1923 from Stardock Forums Top
The Quack: I loved the daddy-daughter day story.

Hurley: Baby Pax also thought the second link of the Tassie Devil was cute... she tried to either kiss or eat the picture on the screen, not sure which.

Dog, Dingo, Tazmanian Devil whatever, let me know what I am... as long as it's furry.

Mrs. Pax has insisted on two conditions:
1. She's not moving from the Doom. She saw what a mess you guys made of the Waltzing Matilda and she does not want to have to clean up after a bunch of animals.
2. We install a transmorgifrier in our state room if I end up as quadriped so she can change me back when she needs housework / yardwork / help with the baby.

-Cypher
Reply #1924 from Stardock Forums Top
Cypher - your call, mate. Opinion of Baby Pax (paxette?) counts for a great deal. Doesn't have to be an Aussie animal (or an animal at all really) - maybe something native to your part of the world? Also: special powers/attributes (go on, get funky)? Are you lodging on the Pegasus, or your own special vessel?

It's OK to leave the missus at home while you go piratin' with us ;)

Are you going to leave your credit card behind with Mrs. Pax? Do you expect to drink on our tab?
Reply #1925 from Stardock Forums Top
Good morning, you scruffy bucanneers...

Looks like I owe Pontius a hearty congratulations on the Iron Chef title! It was an honor just to be competing! :HOT:

I still prefer roasted Carinoid over long grain wild rice with a nice Arcean green sauce. :d Yum!