Won't be here for awhile

Whoa, ok buddy, take it easy, and don't do anything 'rash'.. ok? and IF the above is for real.. you need to talk to some cops.

I can't even sleep at the moment. My mom, and sister is worried about me, and if my dad wakes up hey'll beat me, cause I was raised not to talk about feelings or cry, and if so I got beat. So lucky for me he's asleep. I had my mom and my sister hold my knifes and guns at the moment, cause I;m not fit to have then in my state of mind. I just feel pretty worthless, and not even sure who my true friends are, and who aren't. I just got a lot on my mind.

I can't talk to the cops, cause of what I said as well, and I can't affored to get locked up again as I only have 6 more months till I'm off probation, and i got on it, cause I stabbed this one dude for trying to kill my family, and actually got my sister in a coma, and that's why I did it, cause of rage, and doing what I believe in as. You don't do that shit to females.

Ok, you really, REALLY, need to talk to somebody.. and wtf are you doing with guns anyway?

I can't understand what you are talking about still I would like you to take no wrong action and avoid silliness.

You are from US, right? I hope cops will support you if you are right. I just can't belive youare just 17 and talking like a mon who has to just do or die.

If you saved your family then ok.. but wasn't there other way?

Man.. Control urself.. life is not over for you. Just play a wait and watch game. I hope everything is right with you.

Wish you Good Fortune

I have no one to talk to. I usually just keep a lot of my shit to myself, and bottled up, cause I can't talk about it to my family, and I took therepy before, and they made it worse, and anger management never helps me either.

I have guns for hunting, cause I go hunting with my dad, and uncle.

I don't like the cops, cause I have a very bad swearing problem, and everytime they yell at me I yell back, and this one cop Officer Hues out here punched me, and when I faught back I got arrested, and with all the cops out here being buddy buddys, their defending him, and I get bailed out almost everytime from friends or my step dad. (He's not really my step dad, but I consider him my father as my biological father abandoned me as a baby, beat me, and almost killed me a couple time. So I have nothing to do with him anymore)

You'll be surprised of the shit I've dealt with at my age.

A lot of people don't like the things I think of as I have a very vital mind (like slitting peoples throats, cutting their heads off, setting them on fire, etc: etc:)

I wrote a rap like last month, but haven't got around to making a beat or anything for it, but you'll see some of the shit I've dealt with in my rap below.

Yo man my name is Speed
and it's time to talk about my life
even though most people know my real name is Mike
I hate my name, Reminds me to much of my father
The son of a bitch is a motha fucken lier, a traitor
He told me see you later, and I didn't see the son of a bitch for years
and all I wanted to do was shed some fucken tears.
everytime I cried or even showed emotion
The son of a bitch beat me and said show me devotion
and now he wants to get back in my life
fuck that bitch, I'll stab him with a fucken kitchen knife

All I ever wanted was a normal childhood
All I ever wanted was to be treated like I should
All I ever wanted was not to deal with shit
All I ever wanted was to love the son of a bitch

I was 8 years old, and trying to fit in
The mother fuckers beat me and whooped my ass again.
So instead I said fuck it, and remained an outcast
even in games I was always picked last
I didn't have any friends but my homeboy Eric
That mother fuckers been there for me
shit that mother fucker has some spirit

All I ever wanted was a normal childhood
All I ever wanted was to be treated like I should
All I ever wanted was not to deal with shit
All I ever wanted was to love the son of a bitch

When I was growning up, had no friends
Now I have friends, and they say they'll be with me till the end
Now I'm 16 years old
mother fuckers be treating me, saying bitch you got sold
and why the fuck people be asking me why I'm always painting my face or wearing a mask
Well guess what bitch I bet if we fought I'd be the asshole standing up last
and I'm getting sick and tired of fucking females
Thoughs mother fuckers make me hurl
All they do to me is lie, cheat, use me, and backstab me
Mother fucken females, I don't know what their gonna do next to me
Shit I've had a gun pointed to my head
mother fuckers asked me what's the last thing I said
Who gives a fuck what's the last thing I said
The mother fucker called me a wigger
and I told that mother fucker to pull that fucking trigger

All I ever wanted was a normal childhood
All I ever wanted was to be treated like I should
All I ever wanted was not to deal with shit
All I ever wanted was to love the son of a bitch

Now mother fuckers like me, cause I'm myself
Shit I get bitches at me left and right
Shit I don't even remember the bitch I fucked last night
but I'd always be getting in ISS or OSS
Mother fuckers will be sending me there for stupid shit
"Dude that girl has a nice ass"
"Damn the things I'd do to her"
Guess where I got sent, I got sent there, yep you guessed it ISS

All I ever wanted was a normal childhood
All I ever wanted was to be treated like I should
All I ever wanted was not to deal with shit
All I ever wanted was to love the son of a bitch

Even my mom and oldest sister is fucked up.
She puts a knife to my throat, it's ok, but when I tell her to shut the fuck up, I get beat.
Fuck that bitch, she smells like my fucken fathers feet.
My mother fucking mom is a mother fucking moron
She said she made the January Tornado
oh yeah by the way bitch
You're a mother fucking hoe, and you smell like shit.

All I ever wanted was a normal childhood
All I ever wanted was to be treated like I should
All I ever wanted was not to deal with shit
All I ever wanted was to love the son of a bitch

Ok, that's pretty cool, but you gotta lay off the cussing, just a little bit.

How about any neighbour's, you got any you can go to?

Really shocking man, It seems you don't have a good company neither at home nor at school. What I can see is that you can't live with your father. I wish you get job to be independent. Can't you do some part-time jobs?

If you had problems with him, why didn't you report it? To call your father 'mother ......' is really a shameful thing.

Why don't you like police? You can't take law in your hands.

What I can advise you is that you should consult your teachers or a psychologist to guide you in right direction.

Wake up before the time runs. Its upto you what you want to become.

I know its hard for you but at least your father finances for your studies. Concentrate on your books. And leave these stupid things.

Your rap is controversial. Its not at all cool. Your father is your father and you have to respect him. Even if he beats you, love him.. He will start loving you too. And if he still beats you, report him.

If you think you can calm the anger with anger then you might be wrong.

Awesome advice superman.

I think the entire post is inappropriate and offensive, you should realize that many people go through hard times. Acting and talking this way isn't going to make it better.

Happy trails.

This thread isn't needed.

Better location would be facebook or myspace.