Time and Babies Wait for no Grammas

JLO's water broke this morning and she is in labor--one month and one day before her due date.  Things appear to be progressing well, and the baby should be big enough to be fine, even early.  Of course, until it arrives, safe and sound, we will all have a twinge of apprehension, but no one is expecting any surprises--other than finally finding out who this little person is.

I am frantic, not simply because I was not anywhere near ready for my trip up there.  I am frantic because I'm not there.  It seems wherever my kids need me to be there, I'm not--too much geography in between.  And aside from feeling guilty that I'm somehow letting JLO down, I am feeling sorry for myself as well.  I have no clue what's going on--how things are progressing, how she feels, what her mood is--all the mommy things.  I won't know every little thing that happens, or be there for the moment when the doctor tells her she can finally push.  This gramma will have no "When you were born..." stories for her first grandbaby.  I will be one of the last people to meet this child, let alone hold it.  I feel that I've let JLO down, and I feel left out.

You don't need to tell me how very immature I'm being.  I know.  And I will do all I can to get this out of my system before I get on the plane tomorrow.  When I arrive, I promise that it will all be about the new little family.  But right now, I feel pretty down.

I have thrown things into a suitcase--not quite sure what, but I can wear their clothes if it comes to that.  Am currently trying to get thru the husband's ironing so I can at least not have to feel bad about that.  Have cancelled and rebooked flights.  Have cancelled all my appointments for next week--the foot will have to wait!  Fortunately I got some food shopping done this morning, so the husband is in pretty good shape there. 

Could have left this afternoon--see how mature I am by waiting until morning?!!!