The First Few Days

I still can't figure out how to post photos here, but maybe when there's more time I'll try to sort it out...

It has been an emotional rollercoaster of a few days!  I spent the birth Thursday literally shaking until word came that Jace had been born (although he was nameless then).  Then I started shaking for other reasons.  Aside from making his appearance 4 1/2 weeks early (but at 6lbs, 6oz--can you imagine how big he would have been full term?!!!), he decided that face up was a more interesting way to be born, and therefore got stuck.  On top of that, the cord was getting pinched, probably under his shoulder, so every time JLO tried to push, his heart rate would drop.  According to my s-i-l, it ended with them literally running JLO (in bed of course) from labor to surgery so they could do an emergency c-section.  And after all the futile pushing, the little guy had bruised his head, so there was a pool of blood inside the top of his head.  Needless to say we were all a bit concerned--doesn't it sound awful?  So he spent his first few days in NIC U while the swelling went down.

JLO was ready to be released yesterday, but the baby had developed jaundice, so poor JLO had to come home without him.  It hurt my heart for her, but we all know that he needs to be under those lights so that he can come home and stay home.  Last I heard, it would be a day or two, which means today or tomorrow.

So many emotions!  Holding that baby is as close to heaven as I think I will ever get.  He looks very much like our 2 girls did when they were born, and that's kind of neat--it really points up this whole generational thing.  It is so gratifying to watch JLO with him--this is truly the payoff that parents are given, this miracle of watching their children parenting, especially in those first few days when he is so soft and smells so wonderful and is irresistable.  It is lovely to see the new little family--how bonded they are, how involved and comfortable B is, even with the less attractive parts of this new adventure.  And it is so sad to see them have to wait, when he is here, but not here. 

I am trying to give them their space and to be helpful, but I have to admit that I am concerned about being here, being in the way, being intrusive, and not knowing when to leave.  I hope that they feel comfortable enough to tell me if any of those apply.

(JLO just called--his numbers are better but they want to keep him for one more night.  I am so sad for her, but he is worth waiting for...)

KT is coming for a quick visit this weekend, so JLO can show her son off to her big sister.  (Do you have any idea how strange--and wonderful--it is to say, my daughter's son???)  That will be a Kodak moment for me, for sure!

B has already made a comment about how every time I leave after visiting, I cry just leaving JLO.  He can't imagine how it's going to be for me to leave this time.  I guess being a grandparent-by-Skype is better than not being a grandparent at all.  I have to keep repeating that.  (But let me tell you, even if I could live here, there's no way I'd do it--do you have any idea what winter is like here?  When we were landing, the pilot said it was -33C or -22F, and I thought he meant +22F and had just made a mistake.  Nope.  And you want to talk about snow???  So maybe a grandma's love does have some limits after all!)