Banned for reminding me there's an extra 'for' somewhere lost in the translation.

Banned for follow me, I have a light saber to see the road ahead. And completely annihilate any non friendlies. 

I bought it at Walmart so I don't have to be a Jedi to use it.....

{Unless I have Jedi in my history...}

banned for somehow that conversation crossed over without my doing anything.

And I'll tell you now... the cool air felt good without the hoodie.

banned for having my back... now please step away.

My grandparents had one of those. The chip doesn't last too long due to heat in the summer. It started to slow and slur and when asked, they said they're just going to leave it be when it dies.

banned for not banning

banned for not talking enough

banned for what? I can't hear you!

banned for thinking I'm deaf. It's just selective hearing is all. I select not to hear you.

Banned because a bunch of my students are making me have to crack the whip over some bloody basic instructions. Why is plain English of so little use these days?

Banned for pretending to be plain flour when you're in fact a self-raising flower

[hehe, back when I was a kid, a self raising flower was a masturbating hippie]

Banned for forgetting the ladies; those would have been self-opening flowers. Which really doesn't work with the flour-flower thing, now that I think a second...and risks uncomfortable digression into yeasty matters.

banned for using Valencia oranges, don't leave a mark and teach them who's boss.

banned for louquats