banned for the door is not a jar

Banned because the door is obviously a bottle.

banned for bottling the door

Banned for hugging the floor.

The Admiral

banned for

banned for seeing things up-side down.

Banned for Twisted Vision.

Banned because my member number is lower than yours.

Thought I would change the subject.

The Admiral

banned for changing the subject

Banned for banning me for the same reason twice.

I'm fairly certain you've already used that one already, or someone else has. In that case, banned for plagiarism.

The Admiral

banned for I can copy anything I want here

banned for just now picking on it. It's been done to death.

banned for death

Banned for picking your nose.

That's just rude.

The Admiral

banned, because I will never quit

banned for quitting is for quitters

Banned for losing is for losers.

Also Banned because losers dont know when to quit, quitters always quit so they never win, and winners are just born that way!

Yes, I AM a winner, you know it

Why, thank you!

banned for thinking you were born

Banned because I'm worried that there will be no homemade pumpkin pie for me this year, and I can't bake one myself because my oven is an unreliable beast from the dark ages.

Banned because my nutcase Albanian family is coming over.... AGAIN!!!!! 

banned for whining about family

banned for that's one of the services they offer.

What's the difference between a Jewish wife and a Boeing 747?

The 747 stops whining when it lands in Florida.

Banned because Florida is an incomparably messed-up state.

Banned because she could whine all she wanted if she bakes a fine pumpkin pie.

I wonder if the first class fliers get good pie this time of year? 

banned for flying saucers