Support the Patriarchy, Buy Her a Diamond!

I've heard those, too in MI.

Although the ones I usually hear are: "don't you want to be the guy all your girlfriend's friends envy?" Then there are voices in the commercial saying "why can't you be more like him?" It supports a superficial attitude for both genders. For women, it's that they only want jewelry and diamonds solve all the problems in a relationship.

Right on. I'm not wearing a diamond ring, ever! One, because of the labor use. Two, everyone else does. I want something original that means something to me and my man. Something out of the ordinary.

ll

Diamonds are forever. That's why, when I inevitabley die as people have a tendency to, I'm planning to be buried with as many diamonds as I possibly can. Boyoboy, the chicks are gonna flock to visit my grave! Here comes the diamond studded ghost-pimp. Look out world!

That is so stupid, its like im going to automatically turn into a robot called "wife" when something is put on my finger. Why does everything have to suck so much? I mean i was like really excited about the moment that me and whoever decide to get married exchange rings all that stuff, but its like ohhh great even this incredibly romantic moment that is supposed to be about you two making a love committment now is known to tie back to terrorism. great, just great. thank you for informing me, i'm just so tired of finding out there is a new war i have to battle everyday just in order to be a good person.

- sister molly

suspeckted: I wear a gold band with my husband's name engraved inside it (his has mine name inside). It cost all of $50. I didn't want to be a part of the game where the women compare rings to see who's diamond is bigger or more expensive.

The thing about my ring that is so special to me is the engraving of my husband's name. Since we are apart, I often take my ring off and look inside it and think of my husband. It's just as meaningful to me (if not more) as any designer ring with diamonds and accents and fluff. It's not a symbol of money . . . it's a symbol of our relationship.

Diamonds are overrated.

Diamonds are overrated

To be sure, but also beautiful.

I've always found the diamond ring to be a mythological artefact. It reminds me of stories where a knight must prove his worth before he wins the maidens hand in marriage.

Usually the story is of a quest to test (sorry about that ) the man's strength, valour and integrity. The quest involves the finding of a unique and valuable "thing" that must be brought back as proof of success.

Unfortunately, the symbolism of the diamond ring has been vanquished by the fact that you can pick them up at your local jeweller if only you have enough money. Doubly unfortunate is that you need not strength nor valour nor integrity to get the money that will get you the diamond that will get you the girl.

Isn't this the way that it is with nearly every tradition in the world today? 
Haven't we bastardized everything in one form or another? 

The diamond used to mean something, now it's just been commercialized to the point that hardly anyone knows what it's supposed to signify

A college education used to mean something, but now we all cheat instead of doing our own work

sex used to be something sacred that we saved until marriage, now we all go out to parties w/ hopes of "hooking up" with some stranger that we know we'll never see again. 

Speaking of diamonds, marriage used to mean staying together thru thick and thin... now we might as well change the marriage vows from "...til death do us part" to "I'll stick in until I get tired of her fat, lazy ass..." (i guess you didn't get her a big enough diamond)

I could go on and on, but i'll shut up now.  I'm guilty too, so I can't talk too much shit anyway.  Many of us just aren't morally based anymore. 

I wear a diamond. I wish I could say it was fair trade, but it's not. I didn't know anything about that when we were shopping for my ring. Now, of course, that's the kind I would buy. But it's too late.

I wear a diamond, not because it's traditonal or because it has some long-lost meaning, but because it's clear, therefore doesn't clash with different colors of clothes; it lasts, unlike crystal; it doesn't chip, like glass; and it's sparkly, unlike cubic zirconia.

I wear a diamond because H was excited about finding one that was flawless. You can't do that with many other gems.

Like suspeckted, I hate the commercialism that goes with diamonds and marriage (believe me, I wrote many a blog about that subject back in the day). It does nothing to me when Donald Trump announces on the Apprentice that the wedding industry is a $30 billion/year profit. Wedding magazines are rip-offs with terrible advice. So are most vendors, in fact (several I know personally). I have never compared my diamond's size to another person's (mine would probably lose), nor do I go around quoting the stats on its size, clarity, color, etc. Like Texas Wahine, my ring is on my finger because it means something to me and my husband, not to other people.

Haven't we bastardized everything in one form or another?

In a word, yes.

-A.

It cost all of $50. I didn't want to be a part of the game where the women compare rings to see who's diamond is bigger or more expensive

See now that's genuinely touching.

Doubly unfortunate is that you need not strength nor valour nor integrity to get the money that will get you the diamond that will get you the girl

Exactly...What does this exchange say about either party involved?

Haven't we bastardized everything in one form or another?

I don't know if I'd say bastardized, but I could definitely say Capitalized...which I suppose leads to the bastardization.

It does nothing to me when Donald Trump announces on the Apprentice that the wedding industry is a $30 billion/year profit

Yikes...that's tragic, no wonder so many young people put off getting married for so long. Hell, I couldn't even really get my sister a decent wedding present because I had just gotten out of college...I can't imagine how much financial trouble I'd be in if I had tried to pull off a contemporary wedding.

i'm just so tired of finding out there is a new war i have to battle everyday just in order to be a good person.

Yes Molls, this is troubling, so much so that I understand why people pick and choose their battles and causes. Maybe I'm alone here, but if our country spends $30/billion a year on weddings it really doesn't look good for the sanctity of marriage to have such a high price tag. Even J Lo said her love doesn't cost a thing...but that's easy to say when you're a millionaire.

TW

I wear a gold band with my husband's name engraved inside it (his has mine name inside). It cost all of $50. I didn't want to be a part of the game where the women compare rings to see who's diamond is bigger or more expensive.

Beautiful

Imajinit

Many of us just aren't morally based anymore

I think morals are just changing, like they always have. Don't fret!

ll

Y'all (as they say here) should go read Marx. What you're talking about is called disenchantment through commodification. Which is easily summed up and explained in the phrase: when everything has a price nothing has value.

And in a market society, in which every form of social exchange is actually an opportunity for buying and selling, everything eventually acquires a price. And in so doing it becomes an opportunity for profit. And profit is, of course, the motor of Capitalism which has as its principal motivation the investment and re-investment of first capital and then profit in every process which yields profit.

Santa Claus, Mickey Mouse, Mom's Apple Pie, Highschool Sweethearts, the heroic, the cowardly, the banal, the erotic - all of them necessarily become marketing opportunities and all of them, once succesfully marketed, become commodities like any other; one more thing to be bought and sold.

It's our inevitable disappointment, when confronted by a commodity instead of a myth, that's referred to as disenchantment.

Marx thought he'd found a way to re-enchant the world through Communism and the appearance of Communist Man. We all know what happened to that particular fantasy. But while his solution to the problem of Capitalism's soullessness is untenable nonsense, his diagnosis of the problem has never been bettered.

Marx was a flawed thinker in many ways - his theory of the emergence of Communist Man is nothing but Christianity's New Adam come to save us - this time dressed in coveralls and carrying a gun. But he understands better than any other, before or since, the seductive and genuine freedoms bestowed by Capitalism that lead inevitably to one more form of servitude. Everyone knows what a wage-slave is. It doesn't even have to be explained.

From inside a culture, inside a moment in time, the solution to the problems a culture faces, with which history presents it, can't be determined. I sincerely doubt, however, that I will outlive Capitalsm. Right now, and for a very long time to come, it's the only game in town. But I can hope that it eventually burns itself out.

A way of life that reduces a man to his capacity for labor, and then rewards that labor according to the whims and eccenticities of the market place, is undignified and unfit.

A more concise version of the above has just been provided me by my wife, little_whip -

All other things being equal, which would you rather have? A $50 dollar gold band or a $50 000 rock? Gimme the fucking rock, man....

A $50 dollar gold band or a $50 000 rock?

How bout a $50 gold band and $49,950 to spend on other stuff?

Oh, finally, someone who hates those stupid diamond jewelry ads as much as I do! I really despise how they imply that your love isn't real if you don't have a fat gem. Consider the ad where the man and woman are running through some city in Europe (Prague?), and the man shouts "I love this woman!" When she is embarassed, he quietly presents her with a ring, whereupon her disgust melts away and is replaced by a deep smile and her whispers of "I love this man!" It's disgusting! It implies that she found him obnoxious before he presented the ring, but was all happy with him afterwards. Personally, I think their marriage is doomed.

Reply By: EmperorofIceCreamPosted: Monday, November 22, 2004Y'all (as they say here) should go read Marx. What you're talking about is called disenchantment through commodification. Which is easily summed up and explained in the phrase: when everything has a price nothing has value.

Though I think you've stretched the point I was trying to make in this post I do appreciate how much length you have gone to outline the situation. I think when everything has a price you need to look harder for the value in it, because it would seem that assigning a pricetag to everything robs us of the intent behind the giving. I do hope you are able to grace my blog with your presence again EofIC as both your response is one of the most conscious I've received (or given myself) in a long time.

Im always amazed at folks who seem to go through life quite literally looking for something to take offense at

True, that I don't need to look very hard to find something in our culture to be offended by. However, I am just as amazed by those who seem to go through life paying no attention at all to what forces may be driving their decision making. I'd ask which way of living is more dangerous to our psyche? I too can be quick to dismiss someone's offense towards something that I find so mundane, and though I avoid taking a closer look at the specific case, I am trying to look at the bigger picture. In this case little-whip, I'm not trying to condemn those who would like diamonds in their wedding bands, what I am hoping to do is generate some discussion as to what their motivation is for doing so. No decision is free from coercion.

And it's suspeckted, suspected is a former identity and no longer with us.

C'est la vie, c'est la guerre

Hmmm...sidin' with the French now are ya?

Thats why i qualified my statement with the preface "all other things being equal..."

D'oh!

~slaps the blonde outta Tex~

Slap me again . . . I don't think it took!

I am probably evil and gonna get in trouble for this, but

I like diamonds...I think they are pretty...

As with anything else in life that we purchase for pure enjoyment i.e. big screen TVs, new faster, better computers, etc. I look at my diamond wedding ring and see the symbol of love and the strength of that love. After all, diamonds are the strongest gem. They can cut glass. I think no more or less of anyone who chooses another symbol of that love and committment. Some people buy platinum, titanium, gold, silver....no one is better than another.


The commercials are what they are....commercial. I have seen a lot of these "Diamonds are forever" ads. Some stink, some offend, and some actually bring me to tears. I love the one where the couple is in the middle of a busy square and he yells, "I LOVE THIS WOMAN!" over and over. She is embarrassed and shushes (is that a word) him. So instead he gives her a diamond ring as his declaration of love. She hugs him and whispers in his ear, "I love this man."

Reply #14 By: LlamaLamp - 11/22/2004 10:48:49 PM Oh, finally, someone who hates those stupid diamond jewelry ads as much as I do! I really despise how they imply that your love isn't real if you don't have a fat gem. Consider the ad where the man and woman are running through some city in Europe (Prague?), and the man shouts "I love this woman!" When she is embarassed, he quietly presents her with a ring, whereupon her disgust melts away and is replaced by a deep smile and her whispers of "I love this man!" It's disgusting! It implies that she found him obnoxious before he presented the ring, but was all happy with him afterwards. Personally, I think their marriage is doomed.

This is reply #14 mentioning the same ad, but not speaking positively about it that you may have missed Iamheather.

little_whip and TexasW you two knock it off before I put you both on time out...or give you trolling ratings.

This is reply #14 mentioning the same ad, but not speaking positively about it that you may have missed Iamheather.

Oops, yes I did. Sorry about that. Oh well, at least I provided a different perspective. I did not see the "disgust" melting away. I did not see the commercial as her thinking he was obnoxious until the ring. I thought of her as a little shy and embarrassed. Oh well. It's all in the eye of the beholder.

I don't understand the point of this article. Are you against diamonds, crappy advertising or selfish people expecting to get something in return for an expensive gift?

I don't mind advertising. Of course all advertising is about how a product will improve your life. Tide detergent won't make you happier, GAP clothes won't make you into a model, and diamonds don't mean you're getting any respect or love. I think a "Family Guy" short on diamonds pretty much sums up all diamond advertising. It's a take off of the shadowed figures, with a man and a woman behind a grey screen. The male shadow gives the female shadow a diamond ring, then the female shadow starts to move downwards (as if to perform oral sex). The caption that comes up is "She'll pretty much have to...". To me that 's a brilliant take on how diamond advertising is aimed at men, cheapening why men REALLY buy diamonds for women. Or at least why I buy diamonds for my wife.

I do buy diamonds for my wife. I try to buy her the biggest rock I can afford at least once a year. Not because I want oral sex (Im fine thanks), or that I need her to give me anything. I give her diamonds because she sees them as a symbol of my love and commitment to her, and to me that makes alot of sense. Think about it: Diamonds are expensive. They require ALOT of hard work and focus to afford. When my wife sees her rock of a wedding ring, or her diamond studded tennis bracelet, she knows that I am dedicated to her, willing to work for her, make sacrifices for her and commit my valuable time and efforts to her. Its an everlasting marker that she can see to be reminded of my love for her.

There are other ways we show one another. But this life is transiant, and memories fade over the years. Love grows and changes with age, and things I might have done to prove my love to her 9 years ago might not have the same meaning today now that were older, have kids and have grown together. But diamonds are forever. And as a husband that loves his wife, I appreciate that. I want her to always be able to look at that stone and see that I have commited my work, my life, my energies towards her.

So you guys and girls can take a cynical approach if you want. My wife and I are best friends, lovers and partners. Every thing I can do to show my love I will, because she gives me so much more regardless of the diamonds. And thats priceless.

***censored***

Your wife sounds like a lucky lady indeed....

I am indeed!

Of course all advertising is about how a product will improve your life

And as you go on to point out, advertising is about (the illusion of) how a product will improve your life. Advertising's job is often to make up problems that we don't have, or convince us we need to improve things that are great as they already are...lots of fear tactics are used for sure.

Think about it: Diamonds are expensive. They require ALOT of hard work and focus to afford. When my wife sees her rock of a wedding ring, or her diamond studded tennis bracelet, she knows that I am dedicated to her, willing to work for her, make sacrifices for her and commit my valuable time and efforts to her. Its an everlasting marker that she can see to be reminded of my love for her.

It's just unfortunate to me that so many think that dropping a ton of money on a stone is the best way to show all the wonderful emotions you've just described here. All of these things: the dedication, the sacrifices, committment, etc, are things you've needed to show beyond the giving her a diamond. If you could not show her these things without giving her diamond then hopefully she would have left you a long time ago, but without the diamond you have no doubt still shown her all of these things.

I don't understand the point of this article. Are you against diamonds, crappy advertising or selfish people expecting to get something in return for an expensive gift?

I feel like I'm being forced into an argument about how much I hate diamonds. I don't hate diamonds or those who choose to give them. I'm just annoyed by the forces that often drive us to purchase them for significant others. It's amazing to me that this discussion has stretched this far.

I think a "Family Guy" short on diamonds pretty much sums up all diamond advertising.

I do recall that...hilarious!

~smacks tex twice and runs away laughing....~ troll meeeeeeeeeeeee babeeeeeeeeeeeee! troll me reallllllllll goood.....

Hmm...well not if you're going to enjoy it...what's the point then?

-suspeckted out!