Looking Ahead

is that a good enough title?

from JoeUser Forums
i find it hard to walk upright
my feet are going left over right
right over left comes right after that
i would stop but i just left where i had sat
the ground stands below me
walk begins with the bend of a knee
the next knee the same way
i think i got it i think i may
now to try again looking ahead
i may just look down to where my feet are instead
they still look askew
maybe i need to just think in review
my body is swaying but only a little
the stagger seems to come from the sway in the middle
i hear someone shout
and questioning about
my first thought is to look behind.
then to stay may the answer i find
i look before me to what may just be
the problem that approaches is just a tree
i go back and bend the right knee
then to continue i place a foot to right of me
i'm almost around it
now to remember my wit
the next step is different than last
my left foot swings right really quite fast
to this day i can only regret
that the truth i just met
i used to look to what is below
but that just leads to many a large no
instead what i found is instead
to stop what i'm doing to just look ahead.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

this poem is not well
but maybe from friends i can tell
what should be changed
or maybe just manged
some happy helpations
would help in correction
that's all for a while
but quite the pause of a mile


Capt. over and out!
art
365 views 5 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
This poem is good for sure,
but some spelling errors I incure.
Run on stanza's kinda neat,
but why is this poem all about feet?


Peace,

Beebes
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
how could you complain
why feet i wil explain.
you walk up on your feet
that's the spot where you and the ground should meet.
not knowing where the feet are
to your destination you'll remain far
that is if you don't think about the less fortunate
that would mess with my story mate
i'm really starting to run out of things to say
ending my reply this line just may
or maybe i'll keep going just to keep you about
Capt. over and out!
Ashes of the Singularity II
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
This poem appears fine,
I read it in a short time.
The feet idea is strange,
But there's no reason to rearrange,
The message you say,
Is clear and bright as day.
Good job my friend,
And this is the end,
Of my reply.
Now I say Good Bye!

~Zoo
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
thanks are an order i must confess
these replies seem like a bit of a mess
this article i started
this alone save from fealing retarded
so many incomplete sentences
let's make up a word to rhyme like hentensis
when you want to talk just give me a shout
this is Capt. over and out!
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Oh pork with all this rhyming,
And all your precise timing,
Some parts i don't quite understand,
But life still is grand,
We talked about this today,
I cannot do what i may,
I give in to defeat,
To stare at my feet,
I cannot look straight ahead,
You know what was said,
I may run into a tree,
But then i won't know if there laughing at me...