Banned for knowing foods have different sounds when eaten.... while jello has a distinct slurping sound, a rare steak will often moo like it's still on the hoof.

Banned for making slurping and mooing sounds at the dinner table. Didn't you parents teach you any manners while they fed you lies from the tablecloth?

banned for not clucking things up with your complaints

Banned for uncapitalizing complaints.

Banned fior bringing grammar to the dinner table... nutrition and taste is all that matters.  After that, all that truly matters is a strong, appreciative burp to indicate a resounding thumbs up to the tucker [food] laid out before you on platters of bone china and gilt edged pocelian

Banned for gilt for edged porcelain. And nothing wrong with a little bone marrow. 

Banned for not picking up on my porcelain typo... and you've been warned about sucking the marrow out of Uncle Ted's bones more than once before this.  Wait until the coroner's done and it's all yours.

Banned for typo. . hehe. .  

And I did pick up on it but,  glass houses and knowing what you mean. . Works for me. . 

banned for stone throwing

Banned for not being willing to cast the first stone. If we allow only perfect people to enforce the law, the law will soon be dead – and society with it.

Banned for is this a pile of rocks I see before me.... now just gimme a catapault and point me in the direction of some bankers.

banned for catapulting into the issue

Banned for issuing the catapult in the first place. Go to your room.

banned for being against the ownership of personal weapons

Banned for failing to mention self defence. 

Banned for lollygagging around and going all doolally on us when there's serious nonsense to be dealt with on an exponential level.... so go stand in the corner until Miss Clampett tells you otherwise.

Banned for miss clamped knows what she can do. . . and get that doolally  out of here. 

banned for impossible mission

Banned for calling the mission impossible. Improbable, yes. Imbecilic, yes. But not impossible.

Now, get your stinking paws off her, you damned dirty ape!

Banned for visiting the zoo after hours with a naked lady... after all, the ape is a red blooded male who just wants to do what comes naturally.

banned for aping around

Banned for a barrel of aping. 

Banned for apeing the barrel. You need to go on a diet.

Banned for a barrel full of monkeys is not on the menu today... the chef advises it will instead be spaghetti will the balls of the bull.

Banned for bullocks you say.