Banned 'cause soup to nuts is just plain alchemy.

banned for practicing alchemy in the chemistry lab

Banned for shape shifting.

banned for shifting the topic of conversation

Banned for conversing about topics not related to banning.

Banned for banning extraneous topics off the top of your noggin.

Banned for getting up in my nog without eggs, bacon, and waffles out of a cast iron iron heated atop a wood stove.

banned for wanting breakfast in bed

Banned for eating the bed for breakfast.

banned for not understanding the joys of mattress eating

Banned for not knowing Fat Mattress was a British blues band.

Banned for not admitting that Crass was a better British band.

Banned for being crass when vulgar better suited the topic at hand.

banned for pouring vinegar on the mattress and then horizontally dancing on it

Banned for mentioning the 'vinegar stroke' when referring to dancing of the horizontal kind and forgetting the safe sex message.... which, BTW, is tie yourselves down so you's don't fall out of bed.

Banned for ties to polka stompers and accordion squeezers while doing the horizontal bebop on Caspers' mattress.

banned for inviting over the friendly ghosts

Banned for Casper wasn't friendly.... he was just too stupid to be scary.

Banned for pre Halloween jitters.

Banned for taking the oomph out of the oomphalooma bird and leaving it with a bare arse and only half of its feathers.

banned for a feather touch ban

Banned for trying to fly under the radar without feathers because Batman convinced you that a caped crusader's cape is all that's necessary.

Banned for nekkid crusaders when Bratman and Bibbin were doing their thing with bibs and bobs on backwards.  

Banned for confusing underwear on the outside for backwards bibs and bobs with way too much glam and not enough censorship to prevent impressionable kids doing unmentionable things in their knickers.

banned for going backwards on an express train to heaven