Banned for going nowhere fast.

Banned for being an insider on the slow ring.

Banned for making me wait with coffee in hand.

Banned for not using a hand instead of a cup for that coffee.

banned for being handy with the coffee

Banned for farting in your own space and bringing it here without prior acceptance or potence consideration.

Banned aircooler, eff off

Banned for AC without the DC.

banned for following the direct currents

Banned for not alternating bans.

Banned for expecting alternation during a ban with a direct flow and non-compensating traffic direction.

banned for doing dirty deeds and getting them done dirt cheap

Banned for doing dirty deeds so damned cheap that it's pricing your competition out of the questionable and nefarious deeds market by some margin.

banned for hating on capitalism

Banned for capitalising on the hate market and listing bankers highest on the hate list.... that's my job.

banned for thinking bankers are on the top of the list

2nd or 3rd maybe but 1st? No

Banned for they should be 1st, 2nd AND 3rd.

Banned for emulating a scene from the Naughty Nineties.

banned for thinking that was from the nineties

Banned for assuming that it wasn't shown during the Naughty Nineties, sometimes for the first time to some people.

Banned for nationalizing laughter.

Banned for inciting laughter at a convention for the damned miserable.

banned for being so miserable

Banned for not doing the Lollipop flip flop like at WH.

Banned for calling thongs flip flops while sucking on a lollipop.

[For those who don't know, here in Oz flip flops are called thongs]