Music Review: Toni Basil "Shoppin' From A To Z"

Toni Basil

Shoppin’ From A To Z

Album: Word of Mouth

Year: 1983

        Toni Basil goes to the grocery store to pick up some necessary items  in the odd            “Shoppin’ From A To Z.”

            Demanding synths open the single, setting a controlling tone.  A variation of the chorus opens the single. She says every kind of woman likes to shop. It’s in their blood. They are up to buy any product. (“Good girls shop, bad girls shop/Shopping, shopping from A to Z/Good girls shop, bad girls shop/Shopping/Good girls shop, bad girls shop/Shopping, shopping from A to Z/Good girls shop, bad girls shop/Shopping, shopping, shopping/Shopping, shop, shopping.”)

           She looked in her refrigerator. The milk is almost expired. The lunch meat is gone for lunches. She found a notepad and starting making her list  Her brothers will devour everything. She and her mom can’t leave any leftovers in the fridge. Her dad, though, is the picky eater. He doesn’t like vegetables. He mostly eats meat.  She enters the grocery store and says hello the boy stocking up the cookies in the front of the store. He pulls a cart towards her. She thanks him and gets her list out of her purse. She pops a wheelie down the produce section. There, she gets her fruit. Then, she heads towards the canned food aisle. She gets some chili and then walks over the pet aisle. After looking through the toys, she grabs a package of dog food. She rubs her arms as she heads down the frozen food. She gets some vegetables and a frozen chicken pot pie. However, she puts the frozen vegetables back and decides on fresh ones. They are much healthier and cheaper.  Next, is the snack aisle. She gets a bag of potato chips and tears it open. Looking at the food has made her so hungry. As she heads back to the front, she sees a lady putting on a sample of dip. She tells her the chips were made for the dip. The dip also goes well with almost everything. (“I went shopping/With a list from A to Z/Everything I needed/For a happy family/Walked through the doors/Give the box boy a smile/Grabbed a silver buggy/And I boogied down the aisle/I got A (apple) B (banana)/C (chili) d (dog food)/Snapped up the frozen food/Chicken pot pie/Rolling through the produce/That's a better buy/Satisfied the munchies/With an open bag of chips/Lady with the samples says/Try it with this dip/It's good with E (eggplant)/F (fish) G (garlic) H (hairspray)/I (ice) J (junkfood)/K (ketchup) L (liver.)”

        The full chorus is sung. (“Go shopping from A to Z/I go shopping from A to Z/I go shopping from A to Z/I go shopping, shopping, shopping/Shopping, shop, shopping/Good girls shop, bad girls shop/Shopping, shopping from A to Z/Good girls shop, bad girls shop/Shopping.”)

           She gets out her checkbook as the bagger finishes up putting her groceries in the bag. The cashier says she will need to see a driver’s license or her school ID. She puts her checkbook back in her purse. She tries looking for her coupons but they aren’t there. She thumbs her wallet for cash. She decides to get rid of something. She tells the cashier she won’t get the flour. But it’s still not enough. She tells her to hold her groceries and she’ll come  back in an hour with her ID. (“Standing in the line and/The checker said to me/If you wanna cash a check/I need two pieces of ID/Someone stole my coupons/So I said, forget the flour/They copied down my number/Said, I'll call you in an hour/M (matzoh) N (nuts)/O (onion) P (pizza)/Q (qiuche) R (relish)/S (soap) T (tuna.”)

             An edited chorus is sung. (“I go shopping from A to Z/I go shopping from A to Z/I go shopping from A to Z/I go shopping, shopping, shopping/Shopping, shop, shopping.”)

        In the bridge, she continues with the alphabet game some more. She returns home and then searches her purse for her list. She can’t find it and figures she left it at the stores. Then she repeats her game again. (“U (undies) V (veal)/W (wieners) X (nothing)/Y (yams) Z (zippers)/Oh, no, I lost my list/Oh, uh uh, aww/I wonder if I've/Forgotten anything/Ooh, let's see, what was/A (apple) B (banana) C (chili)/D (dog food) E (eggplant)/F (fish) G (garlic) H (hairspray)/I (ice) J (junkfood) K (ketchup)/L (liver) M (matzoh) N (nuts)/O (onion) P (pizza) Q (qiuche)/R (relish) S (soap) T (tuna)/U (undies) V (veal) W (wieners)/X (nothing) Y (yams) Z (zippers).”

           An extended chorus ends the single. (“I go shopping from A to Z/I go shopping from A to Z/I go shopping from A to Z/I go shopping, shopping, shopping/Shopping, shop, shopping/Good girls shop, bad girls shop/Shopping, shopping/Good girls shop, bad girls shop/Shopping/I go shopping from A to Z/I go shopping from A to Z/I go shopping from A to Z/I go shopping, shopping, shopping/Shopping, shop, shopping.”)

          Basil’s overdramatic spoken vocals treat each letter as though it were an emotion and not a noun. While it’s essentially a game to put to a pop song, she’s the only one who can participate. It’s passive for the listeners and they can’t play along other than repeating exactly what she said. It’s a really tough concept that’s better suited for novels or short stories. (Don Winslow does an excellent job in the Savages, where he lists the stores in a mall and comments on them.)

         The atrocious  “Shoppin’ From A To Z” is one of those songs that has to be heard to actually grasp how horrible it really is.