Angel_Wings Angel_Wings

The 'no' topic thread...

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The 'no' topic thread...

from WinCustomize Forums
Let me start by sharing my poetry...


Titled, FEAR

It keeps me awake when I should try to sleep
It takes away my laughter and causes me to weep
It increases the rhythm of my fragile heart?s beat
And I?m afraid to stand alone on my own two feet?

It?s fear

It keeps my legs hobbled so that I can?t try to run
It takes all or any pleasure out of having any fun
It robs me of my faith and any hopes for my tomorrow
It rapes me of my integrity and fills me with such sorrow.

It?s fear

It disdainfully announces that I?m no good inside
Then, it says I have no reason to feel any kind of pride
And then it mocks the very bitter tears I?ve cried, saying
 The world would be better off if only I had died?

It?s fear

It keeps my nerves jangling on the razor's jagged edge
And I'm terrified to jump from the safety of my ledge
It's these moments that stretch my life in long, tortuous hours
as my veins grow cold I fear I've begun to lose my powers...

It?s fear

It lies in wait for me, setting insidious little traps
It grimaces in the mirror, reminding me of my mishaps
It tells me that I have no right to dream dreams any longer
It tries to weaken me when all I want is to be stronger?

It?s fear

It greedily feeds upon itself and it's never satiated
It kicks me in the ass and keeps me mentally berated
It plots to turn my mind into it's evil little toy
It's clever, and it's sinister and wants to steal my joy...

It's fear

It strips me of my dignity so I?m naked, cold and torn
It claws into my soul and rips the masks off that I've worn
It wounds me as it digs until my heart can take no more
Left only in my darkness I'm alone and scared and sore...

It's fear

It tells me that I'll disappoint the people that I love
And no matter how I struggle I will never rise above
It growls and howls and tortures me and spits upon my face
It leaves me feeling helpless in my anguish and disgrace...

It's fear

It tells me I'm not worth anything; that I'm not even real
It tells me that I have no right to think, to want or feel
It tells me that I'm ugly, that I'm useless, that I'm gross
It yells at me until I'm zombie like and I'm morose...

It's fear

It whispers of my doom and it warns me of disaster
It wants to overcome me; yes it wants to be my master
It tells me to trust no one; that true love is not for me
It mockingly reminds me that it will never set me free...

It's fear.

It tells me I am wrong and that I?ll never learn to fight
It questions all my motives even when I know I?m right
It wants me to give up, to quit, and finally to give in
But no matter what it wants?I must never let it win...

Even if it kills me...
It's only fear

Side note: I grew up often malnurished and one of the USA 'poor' many times I'd skip lunch too ashamed to be on the "welfare" list for hot lunch...I amost never ate all day and I was teased, mistreated and made fun of at school and even beat up just for not 'fitting in' for my second hand cloths which was bad enough but coming home to an abusive mother and never having a father figure in my life who even gave a dang about me and when I ran to him out of desperation he took me in only to later try and 'violate' me...Oh yes, I know now deep the rabbit hole REALLY goes.

This might be 'shocking' to some and 'enlightening' to others. I have lived a lifetime of pain and anguish that has brought me to this place in life. People look at me and figure I must be fine and dandy since I'm 'purdy' and all...but I'm not pretty...and I'm not anything but me here...

But, I love poetry, it has saved my heart from so much grief by just 'letting it out' and right now I guess I'm doing that but in a softer and sharing way. Nobody may care. Heck, I just want to let people know something...

YOU ARE OKAY.

YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.

YOU ARE NOT THE PRODUCT OF YOUR UPBRINGING.

BE STRONG.

STAND UP FOR WHAT IS RIGHT.

Do not stop loving those whom love you and give ear to your heart!

Ah well, I'm a softy.

G'night, WC...maybe I'll brave it another day.
9,402 views 30 replies
Reply #26 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Roses for Rose by : Poppy




Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.
And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.
The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.
The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say,
"I love you even more this year, than last year on this day."
"My love for you will always grow, with every passing year."
She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early, way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before,
The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,
Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,"
The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know."
"The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance."
"Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance."

"There is a standing order, that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing, that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago."

"Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here,
That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote...
"Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone,
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."

"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.
For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife."

"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."

"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness,
That we had together, and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."

"Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days.
I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year, and they will only stop,
When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."

"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,
To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him,
And place the roses where we are, together once again."



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Reply #29 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Great Poem Elvee...and thank you for the sweet comments Yemaya.

I'm going to be having a busy remainder of the year so today was my last chance to get some "hellos" in but I should be back in by this coming December to say a quick 'hi' and wish everyone a Merry Christmas!

Have a grrrrrrreat remaining Spring and a lovely Summer and Fall everyone!

Reply #30 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Great Poem shmoopy! you're talented idd