Background manipulation

I usually keeps a relatively small military force just enough to keep the AIs from asking me for tribute. My main method to avoid war is through background manipulation, ie. to pay some tribute or offer some tech in order to persuade one major military power to attack another. In this way the AI's military level can always be kept within a safe level. You can see in the military graph that both war participants' strength decline rapidly after the war begins. Sometimes I just send my constructors to sit niear AI's resource starbases just to wait them to be destroyed so I can rebuild on them for free.
The question is that it seems very easy to manipulate AI this way if you only ask the military stronger one to intiate the war. And it seems that the victim is completely unaware of my manipulation because it doesn't lower its relationship to me. And AI never uses this diplomacy tactic. Does anyone use this tactic and observe any relationship worsening?
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