Of Tele-husbands, Cyberwives and Virtual Lovers
Surviving Distance Thru Information Technology
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
This might as well be my Valentine’s blog, right ? Owing to the way IT has shaped our lives and also due to the particular predicament I find myself in, my analytic powers have gone into neutral gear and is slowly being pulled into this vortex where I would have to examine whether this 21st century innovation has indeed enhanced long distance relationships or wreaked havoc on it.
As I entered an IT office one day, casually asking if their team was ready for the next teleconference, a female employee who was familiar with my having to travel away from home often, queried, “ So, are you still a tele-husband ?” , to which I readily remarked,
“ Not if I can help it.” I swallowed any revealing expression from my smiling face and thought about my reply. Of, course, I can’t help it most of the time, and most of the time, I’d be the next best thing to my wife – a tele-husband , ready and accessible with my cell phone, but very much away.
In the olden days, I’d be burning the wires and coming home to an obnoxiously prohibitive phone bill ,but nowadays have been a bit bearable , specially with SMS or texting,a sort of mobile Instant Messenger where you have this sense of real time chatting and the “speed of thought” becomes the speed of your thumbs doing the talking. A lot of new features added now. You can now take photo/video of yourself and your background and send it as MMS (multimedia message) but it’ll cost you.
Sometimes it can get to be complicated. For example:
(message appears) “Hi!” - notice how this two-letter word magically
changes the ambience around you
(you reply) “Hi, Luv! U OK?”
(what’re you up to?) “I’m OK. U bc ?
(you just have to be honest, man) “ Street affair of locals I’m trying to film.”
(here it comes..) “U with anyone?”
(you reply) “Jus Me.
(your hands grope for the MMS button) “ Wats d affair about? Cud u show me?”
(you realize a short explanatory text
Message should proceed the video) “Affair is longest street-kissing contest. Pre-
Valentine called Luvpalooza”
(the expected question w/c needs a “ R U GETTING KISSED?"
fast, clear answer)
At this point , my standard answer, “Not if I can’t help it” will just NOT do. So, instead of sending the video, I end up calling to assure her and expect to come home with the same prohibitive phone bill.
The most horrible thing to happen is when one of those technical things crop up – like “low batt.” which is actually preventable, if you keep the phone charged. But if you fail for one reason or another, and the call tweeters out in the middle of a tedious explanation, or at the time of her expected call and you didn’t notice it went off, well..
Well, you have to treat it like some kind of war ‘coz it is and in getting this fixed, you will understand the full meaning of damage control.
Of course, there’s always email, but nowadays, it’s becomes a sort of fallback position to mobile texting. Technological innovation always knows how to up the ante when it comes to instant gratification. How about cyber-distraction – like the constant anonymous chatmate who’s ready to exchange passionate emails with you? How about the other dating centers (“Just Lunch”, to name just one) that would make physical separation from your loved one a virtual vulnerable set-up for derailing your relationship altogether? I guess that becomes the test, right?
Then there’s this “haptic” factor which people in robotics still are trying to configure. You know, the sense of touch or feel. If they could have that installed in cell phones, that’ll certainly be a plus. But then , even if they could, it couldn’t substitute for the real thing, at least for me. Kissing or French-kissing on the phone? It might just frustrate me bad enough to want to buy a plane ticket for home ahead of time.
For whatever value IT has given in making physical separation a little more bearable, I think long distance relationships, which were always with us since wars began, takes its toll more among the younger couples who really are just going into the stages of a relation. It really tears them apart – specially when they become vulnerable to the purple monsters they hear and see when away from one another. If they’ve reached the stages where spiritual bonding cements the relationship, well then.. They’re the ones who’ll survive and see their moments through . For Love flies above cell phones and all that Technology crossing high above it like a hyperterminal ready to connect those who would choose it – war or no war.
"
As I entered an IT office one day, casually asking if their team was ready for the next teleconference, a female employee who was familiar with my having to travel away from home often, queried, “ So, are you still a tele-husband ?” , to which I readily remarked,
“ Not if I can help it.” I swallowed any revealing expression from my smiling face and thought about my reply. Of, course, I can’t help it most of the time, and most of the time, I’d be the next best thing to my wife – a tele-husband , ready and accessible with my cell phone, but very much away.
In the olden days, I’d be burning the wires and coming home to an obnoxiously prohibitive phone bill ,but nowadays have been a bit bearable , specially with SMS or texting,a sort of mobile Instant Messenger where you have this sense of real time chatting and the “speed of thought” becomes the speed of your thumbs doing the talking. A lot of new features added now. You can now take photo/video of yourself and your background and send it as MMS (multimedia message) but it’ll cost you.
Sometimes it can get to be complicated. For example:
(message appears) “Hi!” - notice how this two-letter word magically
changes the ambience around you
(you reply) “Hi, Luv! U OK?”
(what’re you up to?) “I’m OK. U bc ?
(you just have to be honest, man) “ Street affair of locals I’m trying to film.”
(here it comes..) “U with anyone?”
(you reply) “Jus Me.
(your hands grope for the MMS button) “ Wats d affair about? Cud u show me?”
(you realize a short explanatory text
Message should proceed the video) “Affair is longest street-kissing contest. Pre-
Valentine called Luvpalooza”
(the expected question w/c needs a “ R U GETTING KISSED?"
fast, clear answer)
At this point , my standard answer, “Not if I can’t help it” will just NOT do. So, instead of sending the video, I end up calling to assure her and expect to come home with the same prohibitive phone bill.
The most horrible thing to happen is when one of those technical things crop up – like “low batt.” which is actually preventable, if you keep the phone charged. But if you fail for one reason or another, and the call tweeters out in the middle of a tedious explanation, or at the time of her expected call and you didn’t notice it went off, well..
Well, you have to treat it like some kind of war ‘coz it is and in getting this fixed, you will understand the full meaning of damage control.
Of course, there’s always email, but nowadays, it’s becomes a sort of fallback position to mobile texting. Technological innovation always knows how to up the ante when it comes to instant gratification. How about cyber-distraction – like the constant anonymous chatmate who’s ready to exchange passionate emails with you? How about the other dating centers (“Just Lunch”, to name just one) that would make physical separation from your loved one a virtual vulnerable set-up for derailing your relationship altogether? I guess that becomes the test, right?
Then there’s this “haptic” factor which people in robotics still are trying to configure. You know, the sense of touch or feel. If they could have that installed in cell phones, that’ll certainly be a plus. But then , even if they could, it couldn’t substitute for the real thing, at least for me. Kissing or French-kissing on the phone? It might just frustrate me bad enough to want to buy a plane ticket for home ahead of time.
For whatever value IT has given in making physical separation a little more bearable, I think long distance relationships, which were always with us since wars began, takes its toll more among the younger couples who really are just going into the stages of a relation. It really tears them apart – specially when they become vulnerable to the purple monsters they hear and see when away from one another. If they’ve reached the stages where spiritual bonding cements the relationship, well then.. They’re the ones who’ll survive and see their moments through . For Love flies above cell phones and all that Technology crossing high above it like a hyperterminal ready to connect those who would choose it – war or no war.
"
