I am so pathetic right now...
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
I havent seen or talked to Darren full yesterday and I miss him already. At the beginning of the day I was like, I can do this, I want to prove to myself that I can live without Darren for one day and not notice he's not there. But I cant.
I told him the previous night that i'd have dinner at a friend's house since it was her last nite in town. So i wouldnt see him. He said oh ok, no worries. And i thought, cool... huh, if i had known...
In the morning i was at work, so Darren wasnt in my thoughts. I saw him the night before, and his presence was still fresh in my mind and my heart had its full dose of love. So no state of need. At lunch i was busy with the bank and friends to catch up with. I had a fairly good time but still checked on my cellular for a phone call from him. Nothing. Alright, it's ok, he doesnt call me every lunch time anyway, oh wait, but he DOES... I start to feel like something is missing.
In the afternoon, i'm at work again, i come on JU, and do some stuff, and check my email adress every five minute to see if he sent me something. Again, nothing. I look at the phone from the corner of my eye but convince myself not to give in to temptation. I will not call him, i can do this goddamit!
Instead i call my dad, it's his birthday today, happy b-day daddy!!! We stay on the phone for 10 mns. Mmmh, good to talk to my Dad, but it's not Darren.
I concentrate on getting some work done before the end of the day. When the clock hits 5, i feel horribly disappointed that he didnt even call to say hi at all. I'm on my way home when i see one of the girls that i'm having dinner with tonight. She picks me up and i decide to help her with the shopping. We're having corn soup tonite so its not a while till we're done. It's refreshing to have a laugh with her. Darren is probably with his friends having kava somewhere, so for sure he wont call. Okay.
We meet up with our friend and sit in front of the tv laughing at some stupid program. Darren is out of my mind now i'm havin a good time. We start cooking while gossiping and laughing. Everything is cool. Dinner is delicious and here's the three of us watching the 4400. Heh, to some it may seem boring, but our friend had to take a flight at 6 in the morning and the checkin was at 4.30am so... No wine!
Thats the time my phone which is all the way back in the kitchen starts ringing, i run to it but he's already hung up. A victorious smile on my face! HAH! He called 1st!! Yeepee! I decide to call him back only once i'm home. We finish watching the 4400 and say our good byes.
I get home at only 10.00pm. He cant be sleeping so i try to call him. Rings once, twice,... after 7 times i hang up. Why doesnt he answer? He's probably not home. I call on his cellular only to get the machine. I leave a message and go to sleep. I have dreams about him proposing to me with a beautiful ring lol!
I wake up in a good mood only to remember it was a dream and yesterday i didnt see him nor talked to him at all.*sobs* I'm thinking he must have emailed me, and head to work earlier than usual. Except for spam i have nothing in my email box. Sh*t! Suddely a message comes up on my mobile. He's tried to call me 10 mns ago.
Huge grin again! Next thing i know the receptionist passes me a call. It's him. He's sick and no he didnt hear the phone last nite he must've been sleppin already. Awww! His voice is really weak. He tells me about his day yesterday, i tell him about mine. Then i ask him whats his plans for today. He doesnt know, he feels like just stayin home. I ask if i can come and see him at lunch, he says maybe i should not since he doesnt know if he'll be able to drop me back to work. 
I tell him i dont think we'll see each other at all today again because i'm seeing some friends for drinks tonight. He sounds disappointed, he doesnt think he'll go out tonight but he keeps his options open he says in a laugh.
I know he wont go out. He seems to feel really bad. I said, i'll see you tomorrow? And he said we'll see, i woulndt want you to catch this bug.
So, here i am feeling real low. I miss him. I dont care if he' s sick, i just want to cuddle him, take care of him... Maybe i should just cancel the night out tonight?
I told him the previous night that i'd have dinner at a friend's house since it was her last nite in town. So i wouldnt see him. He said oh ok, no worries. And i thought, cool... huh, if i had known...
In the morning i was at work, so Darren wasnt in my thoughts. I saw him the night before, and his presence was still fresh in my mind and my heart had its full dose of love. So no state of need. At lunch i was busy with the bank and friends to catch up with. I had a fairly good time but still checked on my cellular for a phone call from him. Nothing. Alright, it's ok, he doesnt call me every lunch time anyway, oh wait, but he DOES... I start to feel like something is missing.
In the afternoon, i'm at work again, i come on JU, and do some stuff, and check my email adress every five minute to see if he sent me something. Again, nothing. I look at the phone from the corner of my eye but convince myself not to give in to temptation. I will not call him, i can do this goddamit!
Instead i call my dad, it's his birthday today, happy b-day daddy!!! We stay on the phone for 10 mns. Mmmh, good to talk to my Dad, but it's not Darren.
I concentrate on getting some work done before the end of the day. When the clock hits 5, i feel horribly disappointed that he didnt even call to say hi at all. I'm on my way home when i see one of the girls that i'm having dinner with tonight. She picks me up and i decide to help her with the shopping. We're having corn soup tonite so its not a while till we're done. It's refreshing to have a laugh with her. Darren is probably with his friends having kava somewhere, so for sure he wont call. Okay.
We meet up with our friend and sit in front of the tv laughing at some stupid program. Darren is out of my mind now i'm havin a good time. We start cooking while gossiping and laughing. Everything is cool. Dinner is delicious and here's the three of us watching the 4400. Heh, to some it may seem boring, but our friend had to take a flight at 6 in the morning and the checkin was at 4.30am so... No wine!
Thats the time my phone which is all the way back in the kitchen starts ringing, i run to it but he's already hung up. A victorious smile on my face! HAH! He called 1st!! Yeepee! I decide to call him back only once i'm home. We finish watching the 4400 and say our good byes.
I get home at only 10.00pm. He cant be sleeping so i try to call him. Rings once, twice,... after 7 times i hang up. Why doesnt he answer? He's probably not home. I call on his cellular only to get the machine. I leave a message and go to sleep. I have dreams about him proposing to me with a beautiful ring lol!
I wake up in a good mood only to remember it was a dream and yesterday i didnt see him nor talked to him at all.*sobs* I'm thinking he must have emailed me, and head to work earlier than usual. Except for spam i have nothing in my email box. Sh*t! Suddely a message comes up on my mobile. He's tried to call me 10 mns ago.
Huge grin again! Next thing i know the receptionist passes me a call. It's him. He's sick and no he didnt hear the phone last nite he must've been sleppin already. Awww! His voice is really weak. He tells me about his day yesterday, i tell him about mine. Then i ask him whats his plans for today. He doesnt know, he feels like just stayin home. I ask if i can come and see him at lunch, he says maybe i should not since he doesnt know if he'll be able to drop me back to work. 
I tell him i dont think we'll see each other at all today again because i'm seeing some friends for drinks tonight. He sounds disappointed, he doesnt think he'll go out tonight but he keeps his options open he says in a laugh. I know he wont go out. He seems to feel really bad. I said, i'll see you tomorrow? And he said we'll see, i woulndt want you to catch this bug.
So, here i am feeling real low. I miss him. I dont care if he' s sick, i just want to cuddle him, take care of him... Maybe i should just cancel the night out tonight?
And there is nothing pathetic about missing someone you love.
Heh, i feel better all of a sudden!
trying to see if i could do it i mean...