When a Child Loses a Parent in a Car Accident
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JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Before John & I spoke in Sacrament meeting, I was totally nervous. We arrived late because I'd spilled makeup on my favorite blouse that I wanted to wear, and I couldn't find my wallet which has my military ID in it (necessary to get back onto base when we got home)...So I had to try really hard to forget my worries, and focus to have the spirit with me, to be in the right mindset to give an appropriate talk.
The first speaker was a teenage girl, who quietly introduced herself, said she was new in the ward. She gave a quiet talk about counseling with the Lord...and I don't know if she planned on it or not, but she couldn't help but to tell us how counseling with the Lord has brought on a whole new meaning to her in the past six months. She said they were delayed in PCS'ing to Germany because...she paused and started to cry...".........something happened. Last August, a few days before we were supposed to come here, my mom was in a car accident...." she was crying harder....."and she died."
My heart softened, I forgot my own worries, and I cried with her. How can you quell the aching of losing someone...especially your mother, when she wasn't even done raising you yet? And her hurting is so fresh...she lost her mother to such a horrible thing just six months ago. A huge lump formed in my chest...and I knew it was my turn to speak soon, after the person after her.
The young man who spoke after her didn't even acknowledge the personal loss she confided to us. He must've been in a rush to get his talk over with, although he did well. Maybe he hadn't been listening when she spoke. I watched her empty expression as he went on speaking just as though everything was fine.
Anyway, when I went up there, I couldn't forget it. I couldn't go on with my own words without addressing what she said, and acknowledging her hurt, and offering some useless words of comfort. (Yeah, I did say that we have the peace of knowing that we can be "together forever"...but I know that's not much comfort when she wants her mom NOW.
I know that people die gory deaths every day, and they most often leave behind people whose hearts will ache for the rest of their lives, but it's not every day that I get the chance to put my arm around someone who is aching, and understand their tears, and cry with them.
Some day, some how, if it's ever appropriate and unobtrusive, I'd like to give her a hug if she needs it, and if she feels like talking, I'd love to lend an ear, and talk through the angst , and cry with her. I've never had anyone understanding enough to talk with about losing a parent way too early.
Although I think the world should have screeched to a halt for that dear young woman..... my turn to give a talk went well, then John bumbled through his talk, although he opted to wing it rather than use any prepared notes. I told him that it means a LOT that he was willing to give a talk at all. It's not an easy thing to do when you do it with sincerity. And he spoke with sincerity.
The first speaker was a teenage girl, who quietly introduced herself, said she was new in the ward. She gave a quiet talk about counseling with the Lord...and I don't know if she planned on it or not, but she couldn't help but to tell us how counseling with the Lord has brought on a whole new meaning to her in the past six months. She said they were delayed in PCS'ing to Germany because...she paused and started to cry...".........something happened. Last August, a few days before we were supposed to come here, my mom was in a car accident...." she was crying harder....."and she died."
My heart softened, I forgot my own worries, and I cried with her. How can you quell the aching of losing someone...especially your mother, when she wasn't even done raising you yet? And her hurting is so fresh...she lost her mother to such a horrible thing just six months ago. A huge lump formed in my chest...and I knew it was my turn to speak soon, after the person after her.
The young man who spoke after her didn't even acknowledge the personal loss she confided to us. He must've been in a rush to get his talk over with, although he did well. Maybe he hadn't been listening when she spoke. I watched her empty expression as he went on speaking just as though everything was fine.
Anyway, when I went up there, I couldn't forget it. I couldn't go on with my own words without addressing what she said, and acknowledging her hurt, and offering some useless words of comfort. (Yeah, I did say that we have the peace of knowing that we can be "together forever"...but I know that's not much comfort when she wants her mom NOW.
I know that people die gory deaths every day, and they most often leave behind people whose hearts will ache for the rest of their lives, but it's not every day that I get the chance to put my arm around someone who is aching, and understand their tears, and cry with them.
Some day, some how, if it's ever appropriate and unobtrusive, I'd like to give her a hug if she needs it, and if she feels like talking, I'd love to lend an ear, and talk through the angst , and cry with her. I've never had anyone understanding enough to talk with about losing a parent way too early.
Although I think the world should have screeched to a halt for that dear young woman..... my turn to give a talk went well, then John bumbled through his talk, although he opted to wing it rather than use any prepared notes. I told him that it means a LOT that he was willing to give a talk at all. It's not an easy thing to do when you do it with sincerity. And he spoke with sincerity.
