I don't do small talk

But I'll listen if it's important

from JoeUser Forums
I never have been really tolerent of small talk - I don't like it and since "growing up" - getting married, moving out of my parents house and having a baby I have an even lower tolerence for it.

I just can't do How are you, how's the weather, what have ou been doing all day/week/month (month I might be able to do) I'm a stay at home mother -now alot of mothers do things - they go to mothers groups or play group or gymboree or visting friends some have part time work outside of the home or an at home business and that's great - I'm even jealous.
Me I don't do anything. I do my housework and play with my daughter and every friday I get together with my best friend either at the shops or at a park (depending on the Friday)
Weekends are the only variety I have and they're usually all the same Every second Saturday we go to the markets, sometimes one or more of the boys comes over Sundays Nick has Pipe Band.

So I don't talk to people on the phone - I hate the phone (which is a funny thing for a receptionist to say but it's true I only like answering other peoples phones for a work purpose)
I hate calling for pizza, I don't like talking to telemarketers because I can never get them to hang up without being really rude and feeling bad about it for hours afterwards.
I will only call someone if I have a purpose - some kind of news like Elana's got teeth/walking/running/ate a fantail -- then I'll call my mum
I will only call someone after I've thought out my end of the conversation and I have lots to say

If someone calls me - like my mum and I don't have anything to say and she doesn't have a purpose other then she's bored and wants to make small talk I get irritated -- she's learnt this and doesn't call me much anymore unless she has a reason.

Rin and I only talk on the phone for two reasons - Arranging a time to meet up or gossip "Guess who called me who we haven't seen in 7 years (sunday)" "Guess who's pregnant/getting married/bought a house"
and a third reason I guess is if we've had a bad day and need to vent (and it's too early for her to have a beer)

But I can't make small talk

I rarely initiate conversations on msn unless there's a reason - like someone has a weird sign in name, it's a birthday or they were doing something cool the last time we talked and I want to know what happened. (I'm also really bad with emails)

So if I'm "cold" or "withdrawn" or 'distant" it's not because I don't like you - It's because I just can't talk to you about your cat/dog/weather/my boring life -I can't do small talk.
If if we were to get together at the mall/coffee shop/park I'd make (and do make) a conceited effort to talk about anything.

Edited to say:- I'm good with "news" - new baby, new house, my baby is sick, my baby took some steps (anything baby/child related) and I'm good with a crisis Trina I need your help with this "present for my girl/advice about a boy/please check my homework/my SO left/I have issues..." I'll always listen to something important. It's just the
Hi
Hi
How are you
Fine, you?
I'm fine
what have you been doing

THOSE conversations drive me crazy.
3,081 views 12 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sometimes i get that feeling too, but i dont really mind that much. Unless it's someone who ONLY does small talk then it starts getting a chore talking to them. i'll do small talk til something interesting comes up. And then a huge debate will rise and we'll start counting points till someone says 'ok you won', hehe.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Unless it's someone who ONLY does small talk


This is what I'm talking about exactly - there are people who THRIVE on small talk
Siege of Centauri
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yah, after a while when you see them in the street you just wave hello and walk faster, lol.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
I never know the answer to "How are you?"

Good, ok. Just get straight to the point already. I mean really, "how are you" - I feel terrible, so what are you going to do about it?

I hate the phone and people who call for no reason other than these how-are-you's and being me I just don't know how to continue, and we have awkard pause right after. Or I have to do the whole "what about you" in return which makes me feel like a hypocrite.

However I will make an exception if it's someone I haven't talked to for more than a year and it's someone I like. (People I like aren't the sort to call for no reason anyway..)

No surprise that I, like you Trina, hate the phone and IMs.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Were we separated at birth Raven?!?!? -- we'll just ignore the part about you being older then I and not Australian.

This article was written for a specific purpose because one of my friends was complaining to another one of my friends who complained to a third friend who told me that I was distant and ignoring them. *sigh*
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well if they dont understand you dont do small talk, then whatever...

Smile trina
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thanks IG
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
hey Trina...how are you?.. what have you been upto?... good one!
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yeah, my GRANDMA always talks about the weather. Guaranteed. Every conversation. The weather. And I HATE the question, "How are you?" people rarely ask that question with any sincere desire to REALLY care what the answer is.
I feel terrible, so what are you going to do about it?


My thoughts exactly. I once responded to, "How are you?" from a casual acquaintance with, "Crappy." He didn't like that answer. So why did he ask if he didn't want to know?
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
Trina--
I'm not a huge small talk fan either--which is why every one can tell when I am trying to change the conversation, "so, lovely weather we are having, eh?"

When I get home from work every night, without fail, my roommates ask, "how was your day?" To which I respond, "day-like." I've done this for a year an a half. One roommate just noticed last week and asked what I meant. How's that for not really listening in the first place!
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Oh dear. Oh shades that's kinda funny and almost sad. "day-like" yup
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
thank God I'm not the only one