We're on the rocks :(
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Well since she called we've been on the rocks. I emailed her to say how weird i thought it was that she was the one calling him when she complained to me that he was harsseling her.
She then sent an email to me and copy to him saying that if she called it's because she's lonely in France and they promised each other they'd still be there for each other no matter what. And that apparently she's harsseling him and that she wont call or email again.
So he got angry at me and said no matter what i do or say he'll still feel for her.
And so i was like okay fine, i'm breaking up with you, and i dont consider her as a friend anymore. And i tried to have this i-dont-give-a-fuck attitude. But inside i felt as if i had been pierced through and through.
This whole Easter weekend was shit. I went to bed every night crying, and i woke up every morning to thoughts about all the mess and i'd cry again.
And then Monday was too much. I spent the whole weekend at friends and Monday they were invited for the day so i said it's okay i'll go home. But when i got home everything reminded me of his abscence: pictures, teddy bears, clothes, notes, music... It was horrible, i cried the whole afternoon and there was no one to be there with me. I even thought of ways i could take my own life.
But then i just went over to his house and said i couldnt be by myself that night. We just cried together for hours, because even though he cares a lot for me, it's obvious he's not really in love. And that's his own words.
The next day i just called the office to say i was sick, i couldnt go to work with a puffed and red face. My eyes were so swollen it looked as if i had been stung by something.
I dont want it to be over but at the same time i know i cant stay around after that talk. I feel horrible. Lost too. I've got nothing to look forward to when i finish work and go home. These days, even breathing is hard.
My shoulders feel heavy. My head hurts 24/7 no matter how many painkillers i take.
I dont know how to deal with it, i dont know if i can, even as i type i feel tears stinging my eyes.
I couldnt bare being apart for a couple of days, i now need to consider never seeing him again... Oh my god, how can i do that?
It hurts so much it hurts so much.
Yesterday i went to my regular fast food restaurant, and as i was about to order, the lady said jockingly 'hey it's your husband' pointing to his car passing by in front of the place. I smiled but i just wanted to burst into tears for such a crual remark.
And today another friend passed by and said 'it's been ages since i last saw you and your darling'. And i was like 'oh is that so...'
I have only told a couple of people we have broken up. And i thought i wouldnt tell JU yet, because i was and i'm still hoping for a miracle. But it's only a matter of time before the whole town knows and gossip about the 'what happened??' So i might as well spread the news myself.
Man it hurts
She then sent an email to me and copy to him saying that if she called it's because she's lonely in France and they promised each other they'd still be there for each other no matter what. And that apparently she's harsseling him and that she wont call or email again.
So he got angry at me and said no matter what i do or say he'll still feel for her.
And so i was like okay fine, i'm breaking up with you, and i dont consider her as a friend anymore. And i tried to have this i-dont-give-a-fuck attitude. But inside i felt as if i had been pierced through and through.
This whole Easter weekend was shit. I went to bed every night crying, and i woke up every morning to thoughts about all the mess and i'd cry again.
And then Monday was too much. I spent the whole weekend at friends and Monday they were invited for the day so i said it's okay i'll go home. But when i got home everything reminded me of his abscence: pictures, teddy bears, clothes, notes, music... It was horrible, i cried the whole afternoon and there was no one to be there with me. I even thought of ways i could take my own life.
But then i just went over to his house and said i couldnt be by myself that night. We just cried together for hours, because even though he cares a lot for me, it's obvious he's not really in love. And that's his own words.
The next day i just called the office to say i was sick, i couldnt go to work with a puffed and red face. My eyes were so swollen it looked as if i had been stung by something.
I dont want it to be over but at the same time i know i cant stay around after that talk. I feel horrible. Lost too. I've got nothing to look forward to when i finish work and go home. These days, even breathing is hard.
My shoulders feel heavy. My head hurts 24/7 no matter how many painkillers i take.
I dont know how to deal with it, i dont know if i can, even as i type i feel tears stinging my eyes.
I couldnt bare being apart for a couple of days, i now need to consider never seeing him again... Oh my god, how can i do that?
It hurts so much it hurts so much.
Yesterday i went to my regular fast food restaurant, and as i was about to order, the lady said jockingly 'hey it's your husband' pointing to his car passing by in front of the place. I smiled but i just wanted to burst into tears for such a crual remark.
And today another friend passed by and said 'it's been ages since i last saw you and your darling'. And i was like 'oh is that so...'
I have only told a couple of people we have broken up. And i thought i wouldnt tell JU yet, because i was and i'm still hoping for a miracle. But it's only a matter of time before the whole town knows and gossip about the 'what happened??' So i might as well spread the news myself.
Man it hurts
