Learning to be Disciplined...Again
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Having a child makes things clear again...consider yourself fortunate if you've never felt unclear about anything. Watching a child learn about everything makes the world seems fresh, new, full of joy, and endless possibilities. It's that sense of discovery that makes life worth living. If we lose that sense of joy within ourselves...a child can bring it all back. What a gift! That's God saying, "I love you, Angela. Here's little Michael to show you some of the wonderful things you've forgotten." Life is beginning to makes sense to me again.
Before Baby Michael I was lost. I'd been labeled as a "single adult" by my church, when I hadn't done anything to deserve such a negative stigma. No one ever explained to me that it is a normal thing to date members of the opposite sex toward the objective of marrying one of them, toward the objective of raising a family. I grew up believing that it was wrong and dirty to think of the opposite sex. *Sigh* So I missed the boat and spent my most beautiful, spunky, eligible years hiding from the opposite sex. Thanks, Mom & Dad, for raising me to believe that male-female relationships are *bad*. It will take me until I'm old and grey before I'm able to forgive you.
I'm glad I met John, who is so young, and makes me feel young too, like I didn't miss the boat after all.
I look around now and see single people, and think how glaringly incomplete their lives seem...and they might not even realize it. I know I didn't realize how incomplete I was before. I felt incomplete, but didn't know why. Being single might feel free and unencumbering...but how lonely, and purposeless. Having child(ren) is truly a glimpse of heaven every single day. They'll show you what love is. It's amazing. Even on bad days, you can always get a babysitter. That's part of the bliss I just discovered.
Michael has showed me, with "babysteps," how to live again. It's been years since I was able to enjoy how sweet it is to wake up in the morning (not at noon). The sun is fresh, there's optimism in the air, the day is full of possibilities...of course, we can always take it easy if we want to.
Before Baby Michael I was lost. I'd been labeled as a "single adult" by my church, when I hadn't done anything to deserve such a negative stigma. No one ever explained to me that it is a normal thing to date members of the opposite sex toward the objective of marrying one of them, toward the objective of raising a family. I grew up believing that it was wrong and dirty to think of the opposite sex. *Sigh* So I missed the boat and spent my most beautiful, spunky, eligible years hiding from the opposite sex. Thanks, Mom & Dad, for raising me to believe that male-female relationships are *bad*. It will take me until I'm old and grey before I'm able to forgive you.
I'm glad I met John, who is so young, and makes me feel young too, like I didn't miss the boat after all.
I look around now and see single people, and think how glaringly incomplete their lives seem...and they might not even realize it. I know I didn't realize how incomplete I was before. I felt incomplete, but didn't know why. Being single might feel free and unencumbering...but how lonely, and purposeless. Having child(ren) is truly a glimpse of heaven every single day. They'll show you what love is. It's amazing. Even on bad days, you can always get a babysitter. That's part of the bliss I just discovered.
Michael has showed me, with "babysteps," how to live again. It's been years since I was able to enjoy how sweet it is to wake up in the morning (not at noon). The sun is fresh, there's optimism in the air, the day is full of possibilities...of course, we can always take it easy if we want to.
