What Defines Being in Love?

from JoeUser Forums
What defines being "in love"? Does it include living out that chorus of every love song you've heard on the radio for the past 20 years? Is it that passionate scene in that romantic movie? Can being in love lead to lots of hot passionate sex?

I used to have this overromanticized picture of love. I used to think that when the stars were perfectly alligned with one another, the man of my dreams would just waltz up to me out of nowhere and sweep me off my feet. To me, being in love included sappy sentimental love songs being saranated to me, candles, and flowers. Being in love meant the world revolving just around me and the man of my dreams. Love meant spontainiuity with a streak of predictableness. It included saving myself for that "special someone" and hoping that they waited for me. There was no "sleeping around" or "fucking". There was just "making sweet love" to that special man.

Now that I'm older, I realize that most of what I have listed above is complete bullshit. One should not sit on their laurels and wait for that special someone. Go out and be a doer. Chances are you will find out you're in love when you share comon passions.

If you are thinking that love should be like the chorus of that one non-malitious Pat Benetar song, then get your head out of the clouds. Your loved one doesn't "Belong" to just you. Before they even met you they had a life with family and friends. So many people make this mistake. They ditch their friends to spend all the time in the world with their significant other. I admit I'm guilty as charged. In that way, I have changed. I realized that it's important to keep your friends close. A person should love you for who you are, and part of who you are is defined through those people that mean something in their life.

As for sex, chances are that you two waited for eachother is rather slim to none. Just because you had sex with another person does not make sex with the one you love less meaningful. Sex can mean anything you want. It can be passionate and caring, or have no meaning at all. It's all in the deliverance :)

Love to me is passion, laughter, and Caring. Love is ups, downs, and whirly-doos. Love is crying, worrying, and wishing. Love is predictable and spontaneous. Love is intuition. Love is all of these times 10.

I have tried to define love, but I find that my words are cheapening the sentimental value.
923 views 6 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
I forgot the most important aspect:
To love, first you have to love yourself.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
For me Love is thinking of the other person first and foremost KNOWING they do the same, it really is a 50-50 proposition.. sometimes 90-10 sometimes 75-25 but over the long haul as close to 50-50 gets it done for us.
Star Control: Origins
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Love, such a small word, such big meanings. Sometimes clearly defined, sometimes not. Love can be whatever you make it. It's sometimes hard work for some while for others, it's so familiar!
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Mod:
I couldn't agree more. I would have never thought of it in statistical terms like that

Foreverserenity:
you're so right! good points!
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
I read somewhere that Love means Passion, Adminration and Respect and if you have any two you are very lucky. If you have all 3 you don't have to die and go to Heaven.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Love is liking someone not for their qualities, but despite their faults.

Or as my friend once told me during some relationship drama where I kept saying "I want to run away. I need to run away." (I 'run away' a lot for fun or from stress) and she said, "Jess, you'll know it's right when you find someone you want to run away with and not from." Pretty dang good advice, for me at least.