$900 a Month
(Author note: written after I left a 7 year relationship)
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
When she and I split up
I left for a few days
and when I returned later
to gather my things
my journals were laid out
like evidence
in a self-convicting court
Yes, I had cheated
it was there
in my own handwriting
So I left for good.
Now I have my own place
and I can leave my journals out
and my writing is no longer hidden
I can bring and leave out
anything and everything
I live safely knowing
my private thoughts will
not be invaded
they are safe here
my privacy
my thoughts
so I wrote them down
and that forfeits my right to privacy?
$900 a month for privacy
$900 a month so I can feel safe
$900 a month to protect the sanctity
of a $1.99 spiral bound notebook
Why did you have to look?
Why did you have to make me a rat?
Why did you confirm my suspicion
about humanity?
Now I write and leave it out
a certain power in not being afraid
to be found out
I can go home now
not worried that my stuff
will have been picked over
by someone looking for clues
I tried telling you
that you were the problem
your lack of trust
no trust in me
well I shouldn’t have expected
any other response.
So now we sit here
in the $900 a month apartment
my pencils and paper
my thoughts
my privacy
safe and sound.
I left for a few days
and when I returned later
to gather my things
my journals were laid out
like evidence
in a self-convicting court
Yes, I had cheated
it was there
in my own handwriting
So I left for good.
Now I have my own place
and I can leave my journals out
and my writing is no longer hidden
I can bring and leave out
anything and everything
I live safely knowing
my private thoughts will
not be invaded
they are safe here
my privacy
my thoughts
so I wrote them down
and that forfeits my right to privacy?
$900 a month for privacy
$900 a month so I can feel safe
$900 a month to protect the sanctity
of a $1.99 spiral bound notebook
Why did you have to look?
Why did you have to make me a rat?
Why did you confirm my suspicion
about humanity?
Now I write and leave it out
a certain power in not being afraid
to be found out
I can go home now
not worried that my stuff
will have been picked over
by someone looking for clues
I tried telling you
that you were the problem
your lack of trust
no trust in me
well I shouldn’t have expected
any other response.
So now we sit here
in the $900 a month apartment
my pencils and paper
my thoughts
my privacy
safe and sound.