What Women Want

6 pack and naked = happy man.

Seriously, thanks for the tips.  i just could not resist the cliche tho.  I am a man after all!

6 pack and naked = happy man.

Hey, it does run both ways.

Seriously, thanks for the tips.

Glad you liked 'em.

i just could not resist the cliche tho. I am a man after all!

Hehe...I thought it was appropriate. A man who is having that same effort and interest put into pleasing him and showing him that he's important and cared about is going to be more inspired to do the same.

And to think of all the money I wasted on expensive jewelry over the years.

Hehe. I learned this lesson .... uhm. 1, 2, 3 ... Hang on. I have to take off my shoes to count that high. Ah, yes. 13 years ago. See? I could do it!

Learned it before we were even married. Which is why I still do it from time to time.

Better for my wife is: sneaking home before she gets back from work and doing house work (toys, laundry, dishes from the last 3 or 4 days ... so that she's surprised.

See, out of the 5 love languages (ask and I can provide more info iffen ya need it), her primary is Acts of Service. So, doing these things strikes her "He loves me! He really loves me!" spot.

Me on the other hand ... a good hug, tickle and cuddle (and yes, the clothes can and do stay on) are all that are needed to show that she still loves me. Especially since I know she's got this thing about physical contact ...

This is a great article, tex. I think men, mine included, are all about the easy route. Actually, I am thinking about raising my standard. Yes, chocolate and other things make me happy, but a gift that was truly thought about means so much more.

I have behaved and not used the title line..

women want the same thing men want.. love, respect, kindness, comfort and a HUGE, HARD






bouquet of flowers every so often.

OMG Tex, it's like you're living in my brain!! I just wish that I could somehow sneak a copy of your article under Michael's pillow or something!!

Effort of any kind (that is done with us women in mind) is ALWAYS appreciated! A Catholic friend of mine had this book on "natural family planning" which was so 1950's sexist that it was rediculous. However, it did include a line that read something like, "A woman should always make an extra effort to spruce herself up before her husband comes home from work, and likewise, the man should always come home bearing a gift for his wife, even if it is a small bag of peanuts, to show her that he has thought of her throughout the day". I always laugh about that part, but the sentiment really isn't that bad!!

I'm honored to have inspired such greatness!! hehe

Sigh... afraid my wine, women, and song has turned into beer, TV, and the old lady...

I think every men in the whole world should read this, memorise it and DO it! Darren was real good at that, effort and interest.. Too bad it didnt work out...

Oh gosh, Tex....AMEN. AMEN.

You're right on. I don't want him to bring me diamonds every night. I want him to actually come home excited to see me and kiss me and hug me because he WANTS to, not because he feels obligated. I want him to take my car to get the oil changed because he knows how much I hate to do it. I want him to plan a day out just ONCE....

*sighs*....

Mason:

And to think of all the money I wasted on expensive jewelry over the years.

Hey, I never said we didn't like jewelry. Jewelry is like the cherry on top of the effort and interest sundae, hehe.

Chaos Manager:

Learned it before we were even married. Which is why I still do it from time to time.

Good for you!

Better for my wife is: sneaking home before she gets back from work and doing house work (toys, laundry, dishes from the last 3 or 4 days ... so that she's surprised.

That's really beautiful...and it's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about...it's not always money spent or gifts, but rather expressions that show that you are paying attention to her needs and desires. Excellent!

See, out of the 5 love languages (ask and I can provide more info iffen ya need it), her primary is Acts of Service. So, doing these things strikes her "He loves me! He really loves me!" spot.

I've never read the book, but I've seen many people mention it here on JU. I may have to look for it. Thanks.

Me on the other hand ... a good hug, tickle and cuddle (and yes, the clothes can and do stay on) are all that are needed to show that she still loves me. Especially since I know she's got this thing about physical contact ...

Gaahhh! I hate tickling! Hahaha, I always get tickled, and just cause I'm laughing don't mean it's funny!

Seriously, though, it's beautiful to hear that your wife shows the same level of interest and affection that you do. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship.

alison:

This is a great article, tex

Thanks!

I think men, mine included, are all about the easy route. Actually, I am thinking about raising my standard. Yes, chocolate and other things make me happy, but a gift that was truly thought about means so much more.

Exactly! I think that's what many men don't realize. The common things are common for a reason (flowers, chocolates, jewelry)...most women like those things. However, unique expressions that show that they were thinking about what their specific partner likes mean so much.

Moderateman:

women want the same thing men want.. love, respect, kindness, comfort and a HUGE, HARD bouquet of flowers every so often.

Hhahahaha...yup...nothing like a huge, hard bouquet of flowers to say I was thinking about you all day, hehe.

Chrissy:

OMG Tex, it's like you're living in my brain!! I just wish that I could somehow sneak a copy of your article under Michael's pillow or something!!

I'm glad it's gotten the stamp of approval from some of my fellow women.

Effort of any kind (that is done with us women in mind) is ALWAYS appreciated!

Yup. Somethings are special just because they were difficult or required sacrifice on the part of our partner.

"A woman should always make an extra effort to spruce herself up before her husband comes home from work, and likewise, the man should always come home bearing a gift for his wife, even if it is a small bag of peanuts, to show her that he has thought of her throughout the day". I always laugh about that part, but the sentiment really isn't that bad!!

I don't think it is. Things like that show our partners that we are thinking about them and that we want them to find us attractive (in the case of getting dolled up for our men). Consideration and devotion are beautiful things in a relationship.

I'm honored to have inspired such greatness!! hehe

Awww, thank you!

Shovelheat:

Sigh... afraid my wine, women, and song has turned into beer, TV, and the old lady...

Hehehe...nothing wrong with some beer and TV!

islandgurl:

I think every men in the whole world should read this, memorise it and DO it! Darren was real good at that, effort and interest.. Too bad it didnt work out...

I'm glad you liked it! I'm so sorry that you're going through a rough time with the break up, sweetie, but it seems like you're doing better all the time.

The guy who ends up with you is going to be so very lucky!

Marcie:

Oh gosh, Tex....AMEN. AMEN.

Hahhaa...thanks.

You're right on. I don't want him to bring me diamonds every night. I want him to actually come home excited to see me and kiss me and hug me because he WANTS to, not because he feels obligated. I want him to take my car to get the oil changed because he knows how much I hate to do it. I want him to plan a day out just ONCE....

I LOVE your examples. Very good stuff. That's the kind of thing we want. It's not all roses and Hallmark cards.

It is so easy for couples, although I believe it is usually men guilty of (as a man I am qualified to say this) taking my partner for granted. It is not something we do intentionally, I'm sure, but we ALL do it to some degree, no matter how attentive we think we might be. I love my wife a lot but there have been occasions where I've allowed my day to day routines to take over and I forget about letting her know how I feel about having her in my life. Thankfully, my darling doesn't believe in tip-toeing around issues and lets me know exactly how she is feeling. I am often shocked and stunned with my level of 'ignorance' (for the want of a better word).

Thanks for the timely reminder, again. I'm just glad I got it from someone else this time

Cheers,

Maso

Oh my, I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes after reading this...
Ahhhhh.....my former gentleman friend did allllllll of these things, well most anyway and not just to
get me into the bedroom!
He was full of surprises, good ones, and had a great sense of humor too!

My second husband did a couple of the things, well.... 1. he knew I'm a potato chip junkie and
warned me if I gained weight he'd find someone slimmer, and I didn''t gain weight and he
found someone else, several someone else's..... and 2.
he took me out too, to a strip bar frequented by hookers. What I didn't know was that one of the "girls"
that was a regular there was also our babysitter and pg by him.

Anyway your post was awesome and I loved it!

My second husband did a couple of the things, well.... 1. he knew I'm a potato chip junkie and warned me if I gained weight he'd find someone slimmer, and I didn''t gain weight and he found someone else, several someone else's..... and 2. he took me out too, to a strip bar frequented by hookers. What I didn't know was that one of the "girls" that was a regular there was also our babysitter and pg by him. Anyway your post was awesome and I loved it!

There are those of us who seek love, and those of us who seek a deer on the mantle.

I only speak for myself.  as I found love after 45 years.

I only wish you the same.

Better for my wife is: sneaking home before she gets back from work and doing house work (toys, laundry, dishes from the last 3 or 4 days ... so that she's surprised.See, out of the 5 love languages (ask and I can provide more info iffen ya need it), her primary is Acts of Service. So, doing these things strikes her "He loves me! He really loves me!" spot.

That love language book is fantastic. I'm definetely an "acts of service" kinda gal. But surprisingly enough, I didn't peg HW's. So ask your husband/wife WHAT makes them feel happy and loved....you might be surprised.

It is so easy for couples, although I believe it is usually men guilty of (as a man I am qualified to say this) taking my partner for granted. It is not something we do intentionally, I'm sure, but we ALL do it to some degree, no matter how attentive we think we might be. I love my wife a lot but there have been occasions where I've allowed my day to day routines to take over and I forget about letting her know how I feel about having her in my life. Thankfully, my darling doesn't believe in tip-toeing around issues and lets me know exactly how she is feeling. I am often shocked and stunned with my level of 'ignorance' (for the want of a better word).

hmmmm.....hope you don't mind if I take off on this topic later on.....I feel the stirrings of a blog idea.....

Maso:

It is so easy for couples, although I believe it is usually men guilty of (as a man I am qualified to say this) taking my partner for granted. It is not something we do intentionally, I'm sure, but we ALL do it to some degree, no matter how attentive we think we might be.

I agree.

I love my wife a lot but there have been occasions where I've allowed my day to day routines to take over and I forget about letting her know how I feel about having her in my life. Thankfully, my darling doesn't believe in tip-toeing around issues and lets me know exactly how she is feeling. I am often shocked and stunned with my level of 'ignorance' (for the want of a better word).

I'm always impressed with the way you describe your wife and the relationship you share with her. I definitely think we should all be vocal (not demanding, but unafraid to share) what things are important to us and whether or not our needs are being met (which also means being vocal about what the partner is doing right and letting them know how loved they make us feel).

Thanks for the timely reminder, again. I'm just glad I got it from someone else this time

Hehehe, glad to be of service.

Trudy:

Oh my, I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes after reading this... Ahhhhh.....my former gentleman friend did allllllll of these things, well most anyway and not just to get me into the bedroom! He was full of surprises, good ones, and had a great sense of humor too!

That sounds beautiful, Trudy.

You know, you hit on another thing, too...these expressions of love and admiration lose their meaning when they are simply used as tools to manipulate a partner into sex. Sometimes a backrub can just be a way to relax and give to your partner. Sometimes doing the dishes can just be a way of saying, "I know you're tired, and I want to ease your burden because I care about you."

Sounds like your former gentleman friend was a great catch. (Sense of humor ranks VERY high on my list, btw!)

My second husband did a couple of the things, well.... 1. he knew I'm a potato chip junkie and warned me if I gained weight he'd find someone slimmer, and I didn''t gain weight and he found someone else, several someone else's..... and 2. he took me out too, to a strip bar frequented by hookers. What I didn't know was that one of the "girls" that was a regular there was also our babysitter and pg by him.

Yikes! What a nightmare. No one deserves that, especially not a sweet and gentle woman like you. I don't know what to say besides I'm so very sorry you had to endure that. Bless your heart.

Anyway your post was awesome and I loved it!

Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.

Life:

That love language book is fantastic. I'm definetely an "acts of service" kinda gal. But surprisingly enough, I didn't peg HW's. So ask your husband/wife WHAT makes them feel happy and loved....you might be surprised.

I've heard so many JUs mention that book. The author is something Chapman, right? I really may look for it.

I've heard so many JUs mention that book. The author is something Chapman, right?

Gary Chapman. I think I may have to buy it too. i've just borrowed it...

I only speak for myself. as I found love after 45 years. I only wish you the same.

I didn't know one could find love later in life, I
thought that only happens in movies.
I'm happy for you

And thanks for wishing me the same

.. show that you are paying attention to her needs and desires ... Effort + Interest = Happy Woman

I definitely think we should all be vocal (not demanding, but unafraid to share) what things are important to us and whether or not our needs are being met

I think women should be careful about relying on a bloke to satisfy their needs and to make them happy. Women could end up walking on shaky grounds. I think it’s more important for a woman to cultivate a sense of self-worth and self-love, regardless of what the bloke is doing.

I hope I haven’t missed the spirit of the thread here, but I think that as long as a woman relies on a man to buy her gifts and treat her well before she can feel happy with herself or feel a sense of self-worth, then she surrenders her emotional life to the hands of a bloke. (Is that really wise? We're fickle and fallible creatures, you know.)

If a woman can find happiness and a sense of self-worth within herself, regardless of a man, then that's a great sign of strength. I'm sure her partner would naturally feel impelled to treat her well and buy her gifts anyway, as opposed to feeling obliged to do it in order to keep the old gal happy. (A relaxed and content spirit is attractive. A needy, selfish spirit isn't.)

Know your woman.

It’s important for both people in a relationship to treat their partner well and to surprise them with romantic (or naughty) things - depending on their tastes, but the substance and spirit of a good relationship lies deeper.

In long term relationships, and in the real world, if we don't want to get disillusioned then it might be worth re-evaluating our "needs".

(Sorry to get too heavy there, I just wanted to share my thoughts about it)

I'm all for women's empowerment, that's all. I think true strength, beauty, inner peace and contentment come from within - not from what a bloke can do for you. If you don't go within, you go without. At least that's what I've learned.

Size 18......

Trinitie