Just sitting here wondering where I went wrong
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Good evening to everyone.....
Well its Monday night and I am 4 days away from being 27 years old. It doesn't really bother me that much, I don't mind getting older I look older than 27 anyways. What bothers me is that as I get older I thought things would get easier for me and I just don't see it being as such. I love my job I really do I mean I get to help affect what more than 200 stores look like in the Healthcare dept. It sounds stupid to think of ones self as that important but thats how I see myself. My professionsl life isn't what I have an issue with thouh, What I have issues with is my personal life. Rather the lack of it.
Right before Xmas of 03 I made my very first appearance in a gay club in York, PA. was very entertaining, loved the atmosphere and it was a different feeling to actually be able to look at other men and know that it was 'okay' I also fell in puppy love with a guy there that I was supposed to meet there but didn't know it was him. I have a seriousl weakness for lil guys (shorter than I at 6'1") but hes not interested in me and In some ways I wish he were and others I am glad he isn't. I have high morals and quite frankly I hate them, its come from years of a Roman Catholic upbringing and i can't seem to rid myself of them and I hate who I am because of it.
Being gay is a hard thing, no pun intended there. Gay men are so much based in the physical and I am not saying that there is anything wrong with it, hell I love a nice smooth bodied muscleboy with a nice bubblebutt as much as other guys do, but I am not Mr GQ so landing a guy is harder than ever.
Its just frustrating to be turning 27 and be alone, truely alone, I live alone, I don't have any close friends like I used to have in Buffalo, NY where I am from.
well its getting later I guess I need to make lunch and get to bed. Thanks for reading.
-Dan
[email protected]
Well its Monday night and I am 4 days away from being 27 years old. It doesn't really bother me that much, I don't mind getting older I look older than 27 anyways. What bothers me is that as I get older I thought things would get easier for me and I just don't see it being as such. I love my job I really do I mean I get to help affect what more than 200 stores look like in the Healthcare dept. It sounds stupid to think of ones self as that important but thats how I see myself. My professionsl life isn't what I have an issue with thouh, What I have issues with is my personal life. Rather the lack of it.
Right before Xmas of 03 I made my very first appearance in a gay club in York, PA. was very entertaining, loved the atmosphere and it was a different feeling to actually be able to look at other men and know that it was 'okay' I also fell in puppy love with a guy there that I was supposed to meet there but didn't know it was him. I have a seriousl weakness for lil guys (shorter than I at 6'1") but hes not interested in me and In some ways I wish he were and others I am glad he isn't. I have high morals and quite frankly I hate them, its come from years of a Roman Catholic upbringing and i can't seem to rid myself of them and I hate who I am because of it.
Being gay is a hard thing, no pun intended there. Gay men are so much based in the physical and I am not saying that there is anything wrong with it, hell I love a nice smooth bodied muscleboy with a nice bubblebutt as much as other guys do, but I am not Mr GQ so landing a guy is harder than ever.
Its just frustrating to be turning 27 and be alone, truely alone, I live alone, I don't have any close friends like I used to have in Buffalo, NY where I am from.
well its getting later I guess I need to make lunch and get to bed. Thanks for reading.
-Dan
[email protected]
