Personal Ad
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Alright, I pulled this one randomly out of my notebook and played around with it a little bit, but this is the first time it's been edited. Feel free to comment on typos and suggestions. Thanks, Suspeckted.
SuspecTed
Personal Ad
Let’s see, I’m 6 feet flat and I hit the ground stumblin’,
Empty bank account keep my fridge empty and my stomach rumblin’.
I’m all over you, but I’m not overbearing,
I won’t answer if you ask if you look fat in what you’re wearing.
When you thumb through the menu I’m contemplating,
That if it takes more than 20 minutes you’re probably overstating…
The real importance of why you spend your time,
With this sexist feminist shy arrogant swine.
But I’ll rub your feet without being asked,
And if you like what you feel I’ll move onto your back.
I’m not sure where I’m going, but I know I’m still movin’,
And even after you’re mine you’ll still be the one I’m pursuin’.
You’re not impressed by glam or glitz,
But you’ll laugh and smile at my tragic charm and wit.
I’ve learned my faults and try to harness my strength,
Though sometimes my ego is far over weight.
I’ve set myself on a strict diet of humility,
I’m a work in progress, a combination of limitations and abilities.
I know you’re an individual,
So let me be one too, and if you throw out my t-shirts or my friends we’re through.
It’s okay if you don’t like to hike or camp,
But you’ll have to request a lot of midafternoon naps.
You’re full of surprises and keep me on my toes,
But still rock my world with things I already know.
You yearn for something of higher meaning and cause,
And you’re well aware of your own limitations and flaws.
You challenge me with convictions and belief,
And you leave notes in my car in the middle of the week.
Our lives are rich in wonder and awe,
Especially when you tell me public that you’re not wearing underwear or a bra.
You learn my favorite songs, and I play yours on bass,
You humor me with nervous smiles and I pretend I can’t read your face.
You think my hobbies are eccentric and immature,
And you elbow me when I snore or I stir.
You’re nervous about meeting the past of lost lovers,
But you understand that what I had is different than what we have for each other.
So now that my pride is soaked to the bone,
I can finally admit I’m not very good at being alone.
Or maybe I just wish I was on your mind,
Not every second, but more than, from time to time.
And even if your name changes from year to year,
I’ll credit you a few tears and a smile ear to ear.
Take comfort knowing that I’m still searching, these feet are still on the ground,
Take comfort knowing it’s still hurting that you’re not around.
SuspecTed
Personal Ad
Let’s see, I’m 6 feet flat and I hit the ground stumblin’,
Empty bank account keep my fridge empty and my stomach rumblin’.
I’m all over you, but I’m not overbearing,
I won’t answer if you ask if you look fat in what you’re wearing.
When you thumb through the menu I’m contemplating,
That if it takes more than 20 minutes you’re probably overstating…
The real importance of why you spend your time,
With this sexist feminist shy arrogant swine.
But I’ll rub your feet without being asked,
And if you like what you feel I’ll move onto your back.
I’m not sure where I’m going, but I know I’m still movin’,
And even after you’re mine you’ll still be the one I’m pursuin’.
You’re not impressed by glam or glitz,
But you’ll laugh and smile at my tragic charm and wit.
I’ve learned my faults and try to harness my strength,
Though sometimes my ego is far over weight.
I’ve set myself on a strict diet of humility,
I’m a work in progress, a combination of limitations and abilities.
I know you’re an individual,
So let me be one too, and if you throw out my t-shirts or my friends we’re through.
It’s okay if you don’t like to hike or camp,
But you’ll have to request a lot of midafternoon naps.
You’re full of surprises and keep me on my toes,
But still rock my world with things I already know.
You yearn for something of higher meaning and cause,
And you’re well aware of your own limitations and flaws.
You challenge me with convictions and belief,
And you leave notes in my car in the middle of the week.
Our lives are rich in wonder and awe,
Especially when you tell me public that you’re not wearing underwear or a bra.
You learn my favorite songs, and I play yours on bass,
You humor me with nervous smiles and I pretend I can’t read your face.
You think my hobbies are eccentric and immature,
And you elbow me when I snore or I stir.
You’re nervous about meeting the past of lost lovers,
But you understand that what I had is different than what we have for each other.
So now that my pride is soaked to the bone,
I can finally admit I’m not very good at being alone.
Or maybe I just wish I was on your mind,
Not every second, but more than, from time to time.
And even if your name changes from year to year,
I’ll credit you a few tears and a smile ear to ear.
Take comfort knowing that I’m still searching, these feet are still on the ground,
Take comfort knowing it’s still hurting that you’re not around.