Do You Give A Darn?

i don't!

from JoeUser Forums

“And damn’d be him that first cries, ‘Hold, enough!’” -- Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 8


At the time Macbeth uttered his curse, I'm sure he expected those hearing it to actually fear damnation for interfering. If not actual brimstone-and-fire damnation, then at least a jolly good haunting (especially considering everything else going on in the play).

I'm wondering, though, does damning someone today have the same force as it did in days past? Surely we don't really expect someone to be condemned to hell, or to fear same, do we? Maybe we might hope they get a dose of eternal damnation, but when polls indicate most people who believe hell exists are convinced they won't end up there, we can't expect them to fear it on our say-so, can we?

Cursing just isn't what it used to be. Once upon a time cursing was really, well, cursing, placing an actual curse on someone. What's the point these days? Outside certain superstitious backwaters, people don't still believe in curses... do they?

Okay, maybe I'm giving people too much credit. Watch any David Blaine special to see how gullible is the average human, even in enlightened, progressive America. If people didn't still believe in the power of the curse, psychics everywhere would be out of business and I don't even want to think about what would happen to the market for horror fiction. Heck, maybe you can even chart a person's position in humanity's evolution by whether or not they believe in curses, damning or vitriolic.

Nonetheless, I suspect much of the power of cursing these days comes more from having negative emotion directed at oneself and fearing what possible physical turns may ride on such emotions than any comprehension of what the words actually mean.

If we paid attention to literal meanings, some of our curses wouldn't make sense. Take the ever popular, "Fuck you."

In the 1989 movie Staying Together one of the characters realizes that wishing someone a fuck is actually a good thing. He starts saying "Fuck you" as a means of well wishing.

If you really want to mess with someone's head, the next time someone tells you "Fuck you," assume a contrite, thankful spirit, and respond with all the sincerity you can muster, "Why, thank you! Thank you so much. I could really use a good fuck. That's so kind of you to think of my well being that way."

And if they have any suggestions for the horse you rode in on, tell them if that's what they're into it's okay with you, but they'll have to get the horse's permission first.

There have been many times in my life when the most outrageous accusations have been leveled against me. People have given me all sorts of advice on fighting back, retaliation, and revenge. People start saying, "Boy, if that was me!" and get all worked up as if the hatred had actually been leveled against them. I usually shrug it off. In most instances, I can't see getting that worked up over something that isn't true. Why should a lie bother me? The more outrageous the lie, the less to be bothered by. It says more about the liars than it does about me, and if idiots are unfortunate enough to want to believe the lie, well, they're inadvertently saying a mouthful about themselves too.

There's a practical side to my position. Most people overreact when they respond to an accusation and end up making the accusation look real. Then the cursers/liars/accusers use the reaction for more ammunition, "See! I told you!" I have a saying, "Call someone stupid and they'll have to prove it." It never ceases to amaze me how often that holds true. It's a game I'll opt-out of, thank you very much.

About the only effect a curse is going to have is if you get it into your head and turn it into self-fulfilling prophecy. An example might be a parent constantly cursing a child who then takes those insults for his self-image and personally fulfills the curse. Likewise, four-letter-word cursing can only affect you if you take it to heart or let it get into your head and fester there.

In the end, the only way you can get damned by being damned is if you give a damn. The more mature a people or person, the less cursing there will be and the less impact any cursing will have.

1,661 views 6 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Huh! Happens to me every single day! That happens to ya when you work in a jail. I always tell people who aske me about how I deal with it is that it is just the dogs a barkin' that' all. No big deal at all...
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
#1 by Shovelheat
Tuesday, November 29, 2005


Huh! Happens to me every single day! That happens to ya when you work in a jail. I always tell people who aske me about how I deal with it is that it is just the dogs a barkin' that' all. No big deal at all...


joe!!! you just cannot believe everyone there is jail is a dog.
Siege of Centauri
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
My mom used to "God damn me" to hell most every day of my life. I think she is going to get her wish.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thanks for the comments, guys.

I'm thinking I should take out the four paragraphs about "fuck" so I could remove the "adult content" warning and actually get the thing read. Changing the title to something more salacious didn't help.


Huh! Happens to me every single day! That happens to ya when you work in a jail. I always tell people who aske me about how I deal with it is that it is just the dogs a barkin' that' all. No big deal at all...


I doubt most prisoners would be very far along either the "human evolution" or "maturity" scales or they probably wouldn't be prisoners.

One thing I didn't touch on is that the more subject a person is to being affected by cursing, the more likely he is to curse. Dr. Scott used to say a person tells you how to attack them by how they attack you. They think it will bother you because it would bother them.

I wonder how many of those prisoners fall under the "parent constantly cursing a child who then takes those insults for his self-image and personally fulfills the curse"? Think the guv'ment would give me a nice juicy check to "study" the issue?


Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
In the 1989 movie Staying Together one of the characters realizes that wishing someone a fuck is actually a good thing. He starts saying "Fuck you" as a means of well wishing.


I can't believe you quoted a movie I just bought about a month ago.

I don't know about the strength of curses. Ask any parent-to-be and more often than not, they've recently been told by their parents that they hope they get one just like them. Affectionately known as 'the mother's curse', its odd how often it becomes realized. It happened to me, to my mother's wicked delight.

Now, I'm not particularly religious, so I don't feel much guilt in telling someone to go to hell, or utter a hearty 'Damn you, bastard!' to my buddy at work, it just makes me feel better when I do it.

But here's something. There's a girl I hang out with who has the most colorful vocabularly, an interesting way of stringing things together. More than once, I've pulled away, trying to create some distance between us, because if there was a God, I was more than certain He'd bring lightening bolts down on her, then and there.

Good article, and my two cents is this: don't worry about the reformatting for the masses. Adult Content version was better as it seemed to flow more easily.