I miss you and I would like to rationalize it. I find artifacts of your existence when I clean my room. When I roam the island that we both made beautiful. When I look at sad people, When I look at happy people. They all point somehow to you. You made me happy and I had to let you go. To prove something to yourself. To make other peopl
and my non-american americaness may come off as some 'wannabe' behaviour but my heart and my personality are shaped by my experiences marry me and make me normal I tell the world around just fucking make me normal marry me so I can become one of you one of the lost, adventurous souls that have never been lost with a history so short th
so what the fuck am I supposed to say how the hell am I supposed to feel you're toughing it out proving your manhood but you're dragging me down so we just met and we might have to part ways but I might not forget your delicious ways you bring me up and prove to me my heart is not in vain that clearer souls do run in p
you called for the first time today and now I can’t fall asleep you keep me up at night niggah and you can’t answer that kind of question I know you’re thinking about me right now And I hurt from the inside Cause I miss you more than I can bare How do I deal with this despair? I can’t be a victim to my heart again<
so what the fuck am I supposed to say how the hell am I supposed to feel you're toughing it out proving your manhood but you're dragging me down so we just met and we might have to part ways but I might not forget your delicious ways you bring me up and prove to me my heart is not in vain that clearer soul
The invited significant never stops caring. When this love will finish, I don’t care to ask. He likes me for me and its kinda tearing me apart. Why you, I ask him? Why you? Those sappy love songs keep making more sense all of a sudden. A pure heart, a love that’s not dirtied by daddy’s abusive habits. 2 non issue people coming togeth
i miss you but i can't even talk to you I can't even attempt try to break up with you and watch you save the relationship I can't have a break down and sit in relaxation as I see you feel my pain i want to be infatuated (sp) with someone i can touch someone I have to prevent myself from being over reaching towards snail mail sucks and even the
so its always about you and when you get a day full of rejections you're not so fucking confident there are you, you stupid mother fucker. who the fuck made you believe you where all special anyways. pick yourself off the fucking trash floor where you belong. try to pick yourself up, you fucking loser. okay so now that thats all out of my system<
what have I really fallen in love with. you or the gifts of your country. what do I miss? you or the hollywood/walmart fantasies that have been fed to me as par? i miss your embrace, your presence, your passion. would it be easily replaced by a fellow countryman? you accept me but your land rejects my existence, do I feel like yo
concentrate on something else I tell myself as my heart starts to cry the drama queen inside of me is raging with pre menopausal strength priorities honey priorities i'm not mr. right, I'm mr right now he looks at me like i'm a fool when I say that concentrate on something else except how you feel and shit you're not that important<BR
he's gone and i don't want to believe this lonelier existence he entered and exited with the same amount of consistency he chipped away and started sandpapering my insecurities he got closer to the gem than anyone else ever has what did I do for him? he let me not worry about that too much. he let me just bathe in his presence and relish i
and the insecurites and the not so good childhood memories come crashing against me like waves to the beach. the way you deal with them comes back to haunt or benefit you, depending on what you do. without the fear of being alone the world is a better place. i swear
and i surround myself with supportive people who see the love who feel the love and I don't know how to act anymore this calmness inside of me wants to end and i'm so easy to wind up wind me up so I perform like a magician do the tricks that where before: unappreaciated you react and react the way its supposed to be t
Then he takes me over and over again. And my lapse of judgement regrows to haunt me. I push it to the back of my mind. And I want him to push it to the back of my throat. You fill me up. In every way possible. And you make me cry on the inside. the third world hooker inside me comes to the forefront when you're around. this p
in retrospect he's even more beautiful he cleans me from the inside and calms my nervous demeanor he makes sense of this crazy world and he's not cheap with his kisses celebrate his existence when he is away not his absence what a beatiful new finding never knew love could feel like this and he's leaving on a jet plane
the music bounces off my happy bubble and the money keeps on rolling in the sad songs start making sense to me in a real way and the happy songs too gosh where do I go from here I have everything someone could ask for i kept a bad man and I scored a good man now my real ho'in days will begin? then we take peace and liber
so he aint called and he's avoiding my phone calls i gotta take a chill pill and relax he likes me for me but he's not gonna stick around he better call before the weekend cause i aint calling him no more you're falling fast .... they tell me i hope you don't break i have to not worry about it too much he tells me he t
Look at the memories we choose to create they fall into my soul like an early morning layer of snow Which of these memories will we choose to forget Which ones will never leave me I can talk about your kiss and your hands I can wallow in thought about your boyish smile your ever so careless eyes as they look at me as they wander <B
then he tells me everything I need to hear in a soft spoken demeanor he takes care of me and I take care of him i hope I dont annoy him and we play the jealousy card well I act and set limits i swallowed like a cheap hooker and adrian let me know how immense what I did was I've been where I"ve never been before and i ate snails to
I'm Selfish -he tells me as he gives me a lap dance in front of the wrinkling locals as he shakes his booty all up on business and I lean back to calm the waves of my desire he looks at me and tells me how beautiful I am, and I believe it, unlike him he kisses me in public like he's getting comfortable with himself, with me. you're all mine- he te
memories of a moment in time when I had to compete with myself the FOB the muscular Indian bringing the hot Danish Guy to the Social and kind of avoiding me so I can latch on to those moments and realize that I'm not the shizzle or I can choose to forget them he was cute man, but he scored better than me. what a fucker and his man was from a cou
More beautiful nights keep on rolling and I let them spiral into me then the nights dont stop and his loving feels so right. over and over again he makes me feel the way I am peeling away my superficial insecurities and leaving the bare pains to pound in unison with my heart he loves me over and over again i hold him to realize that
don't learn about my history, because then you know too much. says the crowd to the eternal foreigner. the outsider that doesn't know how to blend in. who is learning about my ancestors and scaring me. who is annoying when he tries to mimick us. who is wholly disadvantaged, but isn't that cute? you don't have to get me anything, as long as I'm with you. he
I tell you one thing though bitches; they come; they go But this bitch aint going this bitch stuck in the pipes to my heart she makes my eyes water when I think about her sweet words she makes me believe that everything I thought about the world was right she makes me believe that everything I thought about the world was wrong my sexual de
where is joeuser? joeuser my old blog pal is gone and I don't know where it is. I had some good shit in there and now I don't even have access to it. A life learned lesson that you can't really trust anything that is free. I hope it comes up for a day or two so I can print all that shit. especially before I get out of this job where there is a fre
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