Keep in mind that the deluge of support emails in the immediate aftermath of a major release is likely going to overwhelm the support staff of a smallish company like Stardock. Generally their staffing level is based on what they expect to need for long-term volume and short-term spikes like what I'm sure they're experiencing now are going to really put them in a tough position.
QuestGAV
Do you have the latest patch? I know that was a problem with the release version for social products but I hadn't had it happen to me with ships. I'd try that first and see what happens from there.
It does seem odd that you can plop down starbases in someone else's territory with no consequences. In the end though, I guess the consequence is that you're goading someone into a war. Give them what they want and don't stop at the starbase!
In my last game (normal, large, abundant across the board) I ended up grabbing a lot of good planets early and got off to a tech and industrial lead that put me in the driver's seat. My income lagged far behind and I was running massive deficits throughout. I was able to offset this by trading techs constantly because the AI civs were running large surpluses. Had they put their resources into researching and building themselves up they might have had a chance. As it was, I was selling them thing
So for a 19 quality planet the theoretical limit would be 1600B? That seems... excessive.